My Nephew Has Been Bitten By The Bug...

My sister has fraternal twins, aged 18. My own son is their age, and the "3 musketeers" have been fairly inseparable their entire life.

My nephew has been asking me a lot of motorcycle questions, and it has occurred to me that he has been bitten by the bug. My sister hasn't talked to me specifically about it, but I've got a clear picture of how she feels about motorcycles (think "you'll poke your eye out"). Her ex-husband (whom I see from time to time) seems more neutral on the issue. As with all matters of choice, like many people (even myself perhaps), I think they're opinion on the issue is divided between "others" and "my kid" - if that makes sense. To be clear, neither my sister nor her ex have asked me to talk to Jacob, or told me what I should or should not do.

Regardless, he's coming to my office tomorrow for lunch. We are going to talk motorcycles one way or the other.

Perhaps my sister would like me to dissuade him - show him road rash pictures or something, I dunno. The kid's always been strong willed. Everything he's always wanted, he's worked hard for and accomplished. And he's a damn good kid, if that makes any difference. If he's really bug-bitten, I feel that he will likely buy a bike regardless of what anyone says. My gut is telling me that if that is the case, perhaps I should try to talk practically to him (MSF, ATGATT, chose the right 1st bike, etc.).

Of course (heaven forbid), if he hurts himself (or worse) "down the road", I'd wonder either way.

As a parent of young "adults", sometimes it's hard for me to watch from the front row. And I do respect my sister's equal concerns.

What would you do?

Your initial thoughts are good ones. ATGATT, stress that hard. MSF is a must and good luck on convincing him what his first bike should be. Use you imagination on that one. Good Luck.

hp, I think the is a case where you already know the answer and just want the rest of us to validate it. I guess I'll go first.

MSF is a definite requirement. Perhaps another family member or friend may be willing to take it at the same time so he knows someone when he gets there.

ATGATT goes without saying as well. He knows you and how you dress and ride already so it should be fairly easy to aim him in the right direction.

First bike choice, who better to help with this than someone who's been there done that. After he gets the first bike it's also a teaching opportunity to take him with you a few times. Communication devices can be a real blessing on these trips. Not for you to nitpick but to help him learn to read the road conditions and to pick out hazards that rookies may overlook.

If, heaven forbid something bad happens, know that you'll have done your part to help him avoid or at least minmize his risks.

Majicmaker must have hit post just before me.

One very important thing to check out for him. Insurance. Even for a good kid with a clean record, insuring him/her on a motorcycle can be a financially frightening proposition. Check out some starter bike premiums for him, just as a starting point.

Totally agree with all of your feelings about your nephew. Proceed with caution and deep thought, and good luck.

Kids learn by example, good or bad and you're a good one. ATGATT, MSF, etc.. that has been mentioned, but one thing to mention politely to your sister, the kid is 18! He'll do what he wants, some do with or without their parent's blessing, so your input is invaluable. She needs to recognize that your influence will be a positive and that if the kid gets hurt, it won't be due to your lack of concern in trying to get him started off right. He needs every advantage he can get and she needs to realize that you're one in the plus column. One last thought, many "Moms" aren't as opposed to a little dirt bike to get started (no cars to dodge) and he'll build skills that will do nothing but make him that much better of a street rider. Good luck!

^^THIS^^

I never met a mom who wanted their baby to get their first "murdercycle". Nephew is very lucky to have you as an example and resource. Maybe talk to sis first and let her know you'll help to advise and stress safety. MSF is great.CAJW beat me to it with the dirt bike suggestion. ATGATT, street or trail. IMHO, learning to ride a 2 wheeled motorized vehicle under sketchy traction conditions, ie:dirt, really helps learn the dynamics of a single track vehicle. Plus, going down in the dirt hurts less.

A problem I see for young people starting out is the price of decent gear. I consider my gear to be mid level, Olympia, Shoei, pretty cheap boots, Racer gloves. About $1200 bucks worth. That's as much or more than than some kids will pay for their first bike and they're going to want to spend their dough on the bike first, gear if they got any left over. If anyone should be wearing top notch gear on the street it's the neophyte. Any help he can get here is golden.

Not trying to dissuade him, but showing him some photos of road rash from an unprotected get off compared to some photos of damaged gear and someone who walked away might get him thinking in the right direction.

Again 'Pants, he and his mom are lucky he has an uncle like you that cares!

I sent my sister an email early this morning. I told her that if she wanted me to, I would tell Jacob he'll poke his eye out. She astutely replied that he'll do it anyway, and any safety advice I could give him would be a better use of everyone's time. Very relieving for me to read this - I feel strongly about doing this practically and logically, but over and above that, I don't want this issue to come between my sister and I.

We'll see how tomorrow goes...

Always great to have another rider on the road, especially one who starts off right. Agree with everything everybody has already said, and can only add one thing.

Read!

There is so much info online (everywhere really) about riding smarter, safer and how to avoid the common mistakes (and attitudes) that plague squids. Knowledge is a great thing to have in your riding toolbox. So much of what I have experienced on the bike, I have read about somewhere before it happened, and it has made all the difference more than once.

Best of luck and enjoy riding with your Nephew.

hppants said:

I sent my sister an email early this morning. I told her that if she wanted me to, I would tell Jacob he'll poke his eye out. She astutely replied that he'll do it anyway, and any safety advice I could give him would be a better use of everyone's time. Very relieving for me to read this - I feel strongly about doing this practically and logically, but over and above that, I don't want this issue to come between my sister and I.
We'll see how tomorrow goes...

Click to expand...

This kid has two points in his favor already...you and his mother!

hppants said:

Perhaps my sister would like me to dissuade him - show him road rash pictures or something, I dunno.

Click to expand...

My parents tried that with me (father was a Dr., mother was a nurse, both hated bikes), only made riding more attractive to me. Like so many others, I was immortal at that age.

Why does he want to learn to ride? If it's for the freedom and exhilaration we all enjoy and he's made to realize he's at risk every time he throws a leg over a bike, he might be amenable to wearing the proper gear and developing the proper habits. If he just wants to fit in with the poser crowd, proper gear might be a more difficult sell. You'll learn a lot by talking with him. If he realizes how deeply the rest of his family would be hurt if he's seriously injured (or worse), that should help start him off on the right path. Good luck, you're in a unique position to make a big difference.

I trust you to do the right thing. Safety is something you should know a little bit about right? And you know what needs to be said and the examples that need to be set don't you? You got this easy. Since your sister has already thought this through and come up with the right answer you should stop worrying and start enjoying.

What sort of bike is he interested in? If he likes the Sport Tourer (unlikely at 18!) you should make him a deal and get yourself a brand new one. If he is interested in a dual sport we need to invest in some ourselves anyway. If he likes the sport bikes you can at least guide him toward the proper gear.

If he wants to dress like a pirate... Well, good luck.

His choice in bikes will tell you all you need to know anyway.

I've always thought the best riders started in the dirt and then moved to street but if someone does start in the street my advice is to get something like a well used Ninja 250 or a TU 250 and ride it until it falls apart, building skill sets that will serve him well with bigger, heavier, faster bikes.

Always take the training!

Always wear the gear!

Word!

I get the impression that he lives with Mom. If that is so, what is this "he'll do it anyway" crap. 18 or not, if he's living under her roof, it's her rules. PERIOD. He wants to "do it anyway" he can do it on his own. A little parenting goes a long way. When I was 20, living under my Mom's roof, I somehow convinced her to let me buy a street bike. I was actually surprised she went along with it, but I would have sullenly obeyed her if she hadn't. Again, her house, her rules.JSNS

Now, that being said, and believed, reread all the posts that already mentioned dirt bikes.

Good luck,

Mark

Mark - I get your philosophy. I really do. Perhaps you don't have kids? Or if you do, they are not adults yet? Just a guess. I'm not casting stones at you - just trying to point out that a young adult develops thoughts that are partly generated by their environment (the "magical" age of 18 arrives and all of a sudden, what used to be illegal is now legal) and I believe partly generated physiologically. The combination of these transitions is a recipe for rebellion.

Just my opinion - but parenting young adults by sticking your head in the sand is a sure fire way for disaster.

There are some things that "my house, my rules" will fly with. Buying a motorcycle is not going to be one of them. He will do it anyway and out of spite, any continued talk on the matter (i.e. safety talk) gets dismissed. He will learn how to feather the clutch and ride wheelies down the neighborhood street in front of the neighbor and defy his mom to do anything about it. He can't help it - it's in his DNA. Seriously - my nephew recently bought a handgun. My sister told him she can't stop him from buying it, but he can't keep it in the house because she still has a young child there (save the gun safe/gun trigger lock rant - that didn't fly). So he keeps it at his dad's house and the problem is solved.

I thought about this more last night. By dealing with this issue positively, I am acknowledging Jacob's legal authority to be an adult. I'm validating his empowerment - I'm treating him like an adult. I'm giving him real advice about how to use that empowerment responsibility. I would hope that he will be much more receptive to this philosophy than "You'll poke your eye out".

Like most things... I'm clearly over thinking this. I'll have a sandwitch with the kid and we'll see what happens.

I plan to suggest he buy a UJM no bigger than 500cc. I feel this is the easiest bike to learn on (more equal distribution of weight between hands, feet, and butt). I'm going to suggest he ride it for a year and concentrate on what he likes and dislikes about the bike. Take the MSF, ATGATT, and parking lot practice once a week. Come along with me for a ride or two.

Now then, thinking WAY ahead - perhaps after riding with me for a year, he'll be interested in a well maintained '05 FJR that comes with a family discount. Then Pants gets a '14ES and we all live happily ever after - hmmmm - man, that would be awesome!

I'm kind of pumped up about it.

like Bikerskier, I would see if he's interested in dirt riding, and impress on him the skills learned in the dirt helping on the street. Better, pay for a day of dirt bike camp, which is what I did for my nephew. His mom and dad came along and did the class, which took the mystery out of it. The class was all of $185 and they supplied everything. This way, he could decide if he liked it, and learned great control techniques, and didn't need to spend a fortune on gear to see if this was his thing.

Plus, dirt bikes are a whole bunch cheaper to find used, and the gear isn't crazy.

Had a great lunch with my nephew. He was like a sponge - very interested, even took notes. I rambled on for at least 5 minutes before he opened his mouth. When his first words were "Should I take the motorcycle safety course before I buy the bike?" - I knew this was going to be a good conversation.

I filled his head with my dribble and sent him on his way with some things to think about. We even looked at a few Nighthawk 250's on Craigslist.

I'm hopeful we can enjoy riding together sometime soon.

hppants said:

My sister has fraternal twins, aged 18. My own son is their age, and the "3 musketeers" have been fairly inseparable their entire life.
My nephew has been asking me a lot of motorcycle questions, and it has occurred to me that he has been bitten by the bug. My sister hasn't talked to me specifically about it, but I've got a clear picture of how she feels about motorcycles (think "you'll poke your eye out"). Her ex-husband (whom I see from time to time) seems more neutral on the issue. As with all matters of choice, like many people (even myself perhaps), I think they're opinion on the issue is divided between "others" and "my kid" - if that makes sense. To be clear, neither my sister nor her ex have asked me to talk to Jacob, or told me what I should or should not do.

Regardless, he's coming to my office tomorrow for lunch. We are going to talk motorcycles one way or the other.

Perhaps my sister would like me to dissuade him - show him road rash pictures or something, I dunno. The kid's always been strong willed. Everything he's always wanted, he's worked hard for and accomplished. And he's a damn good kid, if that makes any difference. If he's really bug-bitten, I feel that he will likely buy a bike regardless of what anyone says. My gut is telling me that if that is the case, perhaps I should try to talk practically to him (MSF, ATGATT, chose the right 1st bike, etc.).

Of course (heaven forbid), if he hurts himself (or worse) "down the road", I'd wonder either way.

As a parent of young "adults", sometimes it's hard for me to watch from the front row. And I do respect my sister's equal concerns.

What would you do?

Click to expand...

I had the same Rubicon to cross a few years back with my own kids. In turn they wanted to ride and I was supportive while my wife was concerned but not actively opposed. I required MSF course first and went through the courses with them each in turn. My older son rides pretty regularly but my ATGATT behavior hasn't totally sunk in - he wears one of those squiddly ICON vests instead of full jacket so I'm expecting he's going to learn about road rash the hard way, but he's got decent riding shoes, gloves and helmet so hopefully his first "experience" won't be too bad if and when it comes.

I'd go along with others in saying I agree with your instincts - trying to help him with decision making is the responsible way to go, even though you open yourself to possible outside critique as well as the internal doubt and concern that you've encouraged him to take up a hobby/lifestyle that we all acknowledge is more dangerous than getting addicted to Red Bull.

I think you're on track (though my internet-based opinion is worth significantly less than a day old newspaper....)

This afternoon, Jacob and I are going to look at a couple of well used nighthawk 250s. His budget is not very generous, but if any one of these checks out, I think he's going to jump. We might stop by Cyclegear on the way home.

I'm sure all of us had a "cool uncle" growing up. Mine was Uncle Robbie. Occasionally, I still day dream about a day in 1977, when as a tween of about 12, I heard an unusual sound in the driveway. I opened the door to discover that my Uncle Robbie had just purchased a brand new silver/grey Mercury Cougar XR7, complete with high back bucket seats, a moon roof, and ... wait for it.... 8 TRACK TAPE PLAYER!!!! I recall standing in awe of that vehicle. Imagine my speechlessness when he stopped, looked me square in the eye, and proclaimed "Get in, let's go for a ride."

Holy crap I was excited. We spent the next hour cruising to and from Burger King for lunch, listening to the wonderful sounds of the Soundtrack from Saturday Night Fever. Without a mention, Uncle Robbie purposely zig-zagged through the neighborhood so that everybody could see me. I was cool ****, man - and I knew it.

It has just occurred to me that maybe.... just maybe ..... I may have just become somebody's Cool Uncle.

'Pants, I too, had a cool uncle, Uncle Paul. He used to race stock cars locally and in Scranton, PA. He also owned a Cougar, this one black with a red leather interior. He was the bachelor uncle that Mom frequently invited over for dinner. He would always offer to go to the store for anything Mom needed and I would ALWAYS volunteer to go with him. There was a set of dual railroad tracks between our house and the grocery store, and we would invariably get one or more wheels off the ground going over that crossing. either on the way out or on the way back. I grinned like an idiot and it was unspoken: "Don't tell Mom!"

You are definitely the cool uncle now!