An Irishman and a Mormon go onto a plane...

A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London . After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken.

The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him.

The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink.

He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my Godly lips."

The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me, too. I didn't know we had a choice."

Tyler said:

A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London . After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken.The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him.

The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink.

He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my Godly lips."

The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me, too. I didn't know we had a choice."

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Hey now Mademoiselle Tyler, OM-SPU-Chuy resemble that remark!!!

Since I live smack dab in the heart of Mormon Country: Do you now how a Mormon gets a case of amnesia? When he sees another Mormon in the Mesa, Arizona liquor store!

Tyler said:

A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London . After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken.The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him.

The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink.

He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my Godly lips."

The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me, too. I didn't know we had a choice."

Click to expand...

Hi Tyler

I was on the same flight and ordered the same. But the attendant just gave me a black eye.

Regards

Surly

h34r:

beemerdons said:

Tyler said:

A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London . After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken.The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him.

The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink.

He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my Godly lips."

The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me, too. I didn't know we had a choice."

Click to expand...

Hey now Mademoiselle Tyler, OM-SPU-Chuy resemble that remark!!!

Since I live smack dab in the heart of Mormon Country: Do you now how a Mormon gets a case of amnesia? When he sees another Mormon in the Mesa, Arizona liquor store!

Click to expand...

And since I live in the "Bible Belt"...

The Jews don't recognize Christ as the Messiah,

The Protestants don't recognize the Pope as the head of the church,

And the Baptist don't recognize one another at Hooter's!

wow

ready for some wimmen in the kitchen jokes? :rofl:

I'm callin bullshit....

He'd never hand back his drink....

rushes said:

I'm callin bullshit....He'd never hand back his drink....

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My thoughts too

dcarver said:

wow
ready for some wimmen in the kitchen jokes? :rofl:

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Groucho Marx: I can see you in the kitchen, bent over a hot stove. . . I just can't see the stove!!!!

AuburnFJR said:

rushes said:

I'm callin bullshit....He'd never hand back his drink....

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My thoughts too

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AuburnFJR and rushes: I swigged down half the drink before I handed back the glass to the stewardess. You know the definition of a Queer Irishman, don't you: A Queer Irishman is one that prefers women over whiskey; ay lad, that is indeed queer!

beemerdons said:

AuburnFJR said:

rushes said:

I'm callin bullshit....He'd never hand back his drink....

Click to expand...

My thoughts too

Click to expand...

AuburnFJR and rushes: I swigged down half the drink before I handed back the glass to the stewardess. You know the definition of a Queer Irishman, don't you: A Queer Irishman is one that prefers women over whiskey; ay lad, that is indeed queer!

Click to expand...

You me boyos, have it wrong. As the nice lady to hold your drink as you give her the gift of your manhood. Then ask for the drink back...

Done correctly, not a drop of liquid heaven will be spilled.

Alright everybody, I have got a couple of more Mormon jokes for you. And before Don Carver yells at me, I got every one of the hundred+ plus Mormon jokes in my repertoire from my fellow co-workers at Metro Mechanical in Phoenix who are Mormon. No one has more Mormon jokes than a Mormon! Here we go, now:

What's the funniest thing about 50 Mormons showing up for a bar-b-que? Not one of them has a match!

Why do Mormon women stop having babies at thirty-five? Because thirty-six is just too many!

ShinyPartsUp said:

beemerdons said:

AuburnFJR said:

rushes said:

I'm callin bullshit....He'd never hand back his drink....

Click to expand...

My thoughts too

Click to expand...

AuburnFJR and rushes: I swigged down half the drink before I handed back the glass to the stewardess. You know the definition of a Queer Irishman, don't you: A Queer Irishman is one that prefers women over whiskey; ay lad, that is indeed queer!

Click to expand...

You me boyos, have it wrong. As the nice lady to hold your drink as you give her the gift of your manhood. Then ask for the drink back...

Done correctly, not a drop of liquid heaven will be spilled.

Click to expand...

ShinyPartsUp: Hitting the bottle of poteen just a wee bit early this AM, are we Mick?!? Or did johnny80s ship you up a bottle of grappa? Stef - teerex51 calls grappa "barbed wire"!

beemerdons said:

Since I live smack dab in the heart of Mormon Country:

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Hmmm... I thought sure I was at ground zero.

You know why you never take just one Mormon camping with you, don't ya?

FjrVfr said:

beemerdons said:

Since I live smack dab in the heart of Mormon Country:

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Hmmm... I thought sure I was at ground zero.

You know why you never take just one Mormon camping with you, don't ya?

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You are right FjrVfr, you are indeed in the true heart of Mormon Country. I am at Ground Zero of Arizona Mormon Country: The Mesa, AZ Tabernacle comes close to Salt Lake City in size and attendance.

I have been told by my Metro Mormon friends that the reason you never take just one Mormon camping with you, is because you always need two: One to lie and the other to swear to it. If there is another punchline, please do post it up. Thanks!

If you take just one, he'll drink all your beer and smoke all your cigarettes. You gotta bring at least two.

FjrVfr said:

If you take just one, he'll drink all your beer and smoke all your cigarettes. You gotta bring at least two.

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Absolutely great, FjrVfr; I am saving that one!!!