A Joke for Beemerdon

Dr. Rich · Apr 5, 2016

IRISH ALZHEIMER'S

Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell
down when he saw him. He'd never been to church in his life. After
Mass, the priest caught up with him and said, "Murphy, I am so glad
ya decided to come to Mass. What made ya come?"

Murphy said, "I got to be honest with you Father. A while back, I
misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that
McGlynn had a hat just like mine and I knew he came to church
every Sunday. I also knew that he had to take off his hat during
Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of church. So, I
was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn's hat."

The priest said, "Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn't steal
McGlynn's hat. What changed your mind?"

Murphy replied, "Well, after I heard your sermon on the Ten
Commandments, I decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynn's
hat after all!

With a tear in his eye the priest gave Murphy a big smile and
said, "After I talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' ya decided
you would rather do without your hat than burn in Hell ?"

Murphy slowly shook his head. "No, Father, after ya talked
about 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' I remembered where
I left me hat."

wheatonFJR · Apr 5, 2016

Good one.

Mudslide Miller · Apr 5, 2016

I never saw Don wear a hat, but I wonder how many sets of flip-flops he was missing?!!

SacramentoMike · Apr 6, 2016

Good one, Rich. Don would have approved.

@Mudslide: I never noticed. Did Don have really big feet?

LKLD · Apr 30, 2016

A London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by an Irish cop. He thinks that he is smarter than the cop because he is a lawyer from LONDON and is certain that he has a better education then any Irish cop. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Irish cop's expense!

Irish cop says,"License and registration, please."

London Lawyer says, "What for?"

Irish cop says,"Ya di'ent come to a complete stop at the stop sign."

London Lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."

Irish cop says,"Ya still di'ent come to a complete stop. License and registration, please"

London Lawyer says, "What's the difference?"

Irish cop says, "The difference is, ye havte come to complete stop, that's the law. License and registration,please!"

London Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket."

Irish cop says, "Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir."

The London Lawyer exits his vehicle.

The Irish cop takes out his baton and starts beating the living **** out of the lawyer and says, "Do'ya want me to stop, or just slow down? "