After EOM 2011, we went for a little ride.

[BikerGeek99]

After EOM 2011, we went for a little ride.

Sooze and I were on the fence about attending EOM this year. We had already been all over the dang place this year, and let’s face it: it’s not cheap to spend gobs of time on the road. Unless you camp. And go pick wild berries and nuts or something. We don’t do either.

Sooze and I are musicians. It’s how we met. We’re in a community band with some other friends from other groups that we are also members of. One these friends, who I’ll call Rich (only because that’s his name), asked us one night at said community band rehearsal:

Rich: “Hey – you know how we go down to Hilton Head every year for 2 weeks? Well, some of the people that normally go with us can’t make it. You guys wanna come down? Maybe ride down? All you’ll need to pay for is gas and maybe some beer and food. We’ll be there 2 weeks – just pick a week if you want to come down.”

Me: “Hmm…” After a quick conference with Sooze, and a quick check of the dates for EOM…

Me: “Yes! We’ll go to southern Kentucky for a couple of nights, then come on down!”

Neither Sooze or I had ever been to Hilton Head, so we were looking forward to it!

So after the frivolity that is EOM wrapped up, we were headed to Hilton Head, baby!

Sunday, September 25, 2011.

Today would be a long day. We know it ahead of time. We were OK with it. We had 500-and-some-odd miles to ride to get to Hilton Head, but we had all day to do it.

No biggie, right?

Riiiiight….

After surviving Saturday night’s banquet and parking-lot-BS-ing, we got up and headed to grab a bite to eat. This is the view we had looking up the hill from our cabin door.

I saw this sign and knew we had to have a picture of it. And lemme tell ya – they are NOT kidding! The cliff is like RIGHT the hell there!

But they do offer steps down to the trail. I imagine that the steps make the descent much easier, although the cliff is probably more of an express route for those in a hurry.

After a quick bite to eat, and some final good-byes to some friends, we packed up our crap and loaded up the bike. Yeah, the bike is dirty. That’s what happens when ya actually ride the damn thing. And, yes – that is Dolly in her Canadian Condo strapped to the right pannier.

Heading out for our 500-ish mile slog, the morning weather was bright and clear and awesome!

As much as we’da loved to have taken all back-roads getting down, we chose the express route and slabbed it. So, kinda boring stuff today.

Tennessee state line.

Nature’s majesty.

I don’t ‘get’ drivers in the Carolinas. We were on the bike and … uh … making good time. When I’d come up behind someone in the left lane who was running speed-limit-plus-5 or so, they’d just sit there. The FJR was lit up like a lighthouse, but they’d just sit there. I’d give ‘em about 20 or 30 seconds, and then just move to the right lane and goose it. I don’t like to pass on the right, but these idjuts were incredibly consistent. Most of the time, once I moved to the right to pass, they’d accelerate! But let’s face it – a cage cannot out-accelerate an FJR, so it was no big deal to get past them, but then when I would move back into the left lane … they’d just slow back down to speed-limit-plus-5 and sit in the hammer lane until someone else came up behind them.

Drove me f’n nuts. And is reason number 7,862,042 why I hate the highway.

Note the parade of idiots in the left lane, led by the lead ***** in the CR-V.

I was busy watching the road and didn’t give Sooze the heads-up on the North Carolina state line, so no picture of that.

Deal with it.

I was just able to warn her about the South Carolina state line, though, and she was just able to get this as we rolled by.

 

[BikerGeek99]

<Sorry for the word-heavy, picture-deficient post. It happens sometimes.>

The traffic coming into, thru, and south of Spartanburg sucked moist *** cheese. At one point, the traffic had worked itself out, was spread out nicely, moving right along.

And then, for reasons I have yet to figure out, 2 of South Carolina’s finest are going north-bound in the emergency lane of the south-bound side, lights lit and whatnot. Of course, everyone slows down and moves to the left lane, thinking there’s something going on ahead.

Nope. Not a damn thing. NOTHING!! All that those two suck-holes managed to do was bunch up traffic (and see my comments above about the drivers in the Carolinas)… GAAAHHHH!!! For MILES traffic was utterly hosed. I just don’t get the reason why.

As we were working our way south, at our gas / bio break / smoke break stops, I checked the radar on my phone. Of course, AT&T’s coverage SUCKS so 2/3 of the time I couldn’t get a signal worth its weight in rusty cans of used ****, so we just kept on going. At one stop, though – holy crapola were there some nasty-looking skies in our path.

Just we were getting ready to continue … It Began.

I’ve ridden in rain before. It doesn’t bother me. I’ve ridden in heavy rain before. It usually doesn’t bother me.

This crap was downright wicked.

Just as we were rolling back onto the slab … holy **** did it rain… And the wind blew… And the thunder and lightning….

Like I said, it ‘usually’ doesn’t bother me. THIS stuff, though, had me seriously questioning my decision to even be on the damn road.

I was thanking my lucky stars for the addition of the Admore lights on the saddle-bags, because I had the hazards on, riding no faster than 50, hugging that right white line as my helmet visor first fogged up, then got water on the inside. In other words, I couldn’t hardly see a damn thing, and we were getting passed by 18-wheelers running 70-plus.

It sucked. The wind was crazy. The rain was insane. The thunder and lightning was … Oy….

One exit south, I pulled off, hoping for a place of shelter.

Huh-uh. Nothing. Nothing at all. No signs for anything. So I just rolled us over to the on-ramp and pulled to the side, hoping that the worst of it would pass over.

After the third or fourth ka-BLAM!! of thunder and lightning I just said screw it, and headed back for more of the same, hoping for the best.

Did I mention that the wind, rain, thunder and lightning were STUPID crazy?!

Thankfully, mercifully, one exit down (and it was one hair-raising adventure of a ride down just one exit), I was able to decipher a sign for the Geeks Preferred Hotel – a Hampton Inn. I aimed for that for 2 reasons:

1. I know they have an overhand / awning thing to pull into and get outta the rain.

B. Maybe, just maybe, if we decided to just say screw it and get off the road, they’d have a room, but we’ve been burned by THIS before…

For obvious reasons, Sooze didn’t take any pictures of this piece of the adventure. Because – let’s face it – it’s not an adventure until you’re not sure if you’re gonna make it home, right?

Thankfully …. Mercifully … Off the road, off the bike, and out of the rain. This picture does not do the skies justice. The background is over-exposed, making it look lighter than it really was. To get a better idea of the rain, look at the street light to the top-right of the picture. It should be crystal-clear. It isn’t.

After a couple of minutes of debating, and a consultation with the radar, we called it a day. Thankfully … mercifully … the hotel had a room available.

I was soaked. I think due to the combination of riding through standing water and road-spray from passing vehicles on the slab, water had gotten – for the first time ever in 2 years and thousands and thousands and thousands of miles – inside my lower legs, and into my boots.

Of course, I didn’t have any shoes with me. They were in a bag that Rich had taken to Hilton Head for us. Lesson learned.

Sooze had shoes with her, so she ran and grabbed us some grub. Yes, it breaks all of our road-trip eating-tenants, but, well – there were extenuating circumstances. So here’s some of the worst, most trbl (I mean jes plain trbl) food ****. EVAH!!

So, after 450 miles or so for the day, and only about 60 miles from our destination, we holed up in a hotel. As it turns out, this would be of significant benefit for us…

 

[Niehart]

Good stuff SubaGeek!

 

[PhilJet09]

Man I wish I could travel as much (on my bike) as you guys do, it always sounds like an adventure. Glad you made the smart decision and called it a day.

 

[Old Michael]

...After the third or fourth ka-BLAM!! of thunder and lightning ...

Oh my goodness! Your word pictures have me on the edge of my seat!

Got wet, huh?

You didn't mention how the Sooze faired!

 

[BikerGeek99]

Man I wish I could travel as much (on my bike) as you guys do, it always sounds like an adventure. Glad you made the smart decision and called it a day.

Just do it. You'll be glad you did.

...After the third or fourth ka-BLAM!! of thunder and lightning ...

Oh my goodness! Your word pictures have me on the edge of my seat!

Got wet, huh?

You didn't mention how the Sooze faired!

I knew she was fine because after every damn thunderclap she flinched. I figured she was OK. She was. Soaked (time to Niki Wax her gear) and cold, but otherwise OK.

 

[BikerGeek99]

Monday, September 26, 2011.

The end of yesterday’s ride sucked.

This fine Monday morning, though, greeted us with beautiful skies and comfortable temperatures. Which was good for me, because my riding gear was still damp. I think yesterday found the limits of water-proofness of Aerostich’s Transit Suit. It dried out pretty quick this morning, though.

I love the picture of this cloud. Kinda looks like a Klingon Bird Of Prey. Or a skinny dude about to do a belly-flop in a pool. Or a bunny rabbit. Or Bust on his way to ‘Altitude Sickness.’ Or ****s.

Before long, we were into the Hilton Head area.

The south. We don’t have stuff on our trees up north.

On our way to our lodgings for the next few nights…

Only to be … Denied.

Our lodgings for the next few nights were in a gated community. Do you know why they are called gated communities? Well, it’s because you have to go through a gate to get to the community. Hence, gated community.

One thing we had not considered, and neither had our hosts: certain gated communities do not allow motorcycles.

Period.

Game over, man.

And let me just give a shout-out here: the retiree-cum-guard at this particular gated community was an ***. Rude. Crass. Unpleasant. Impetuous. Unhelpful. Useless. ******* (in a bad way). Of a person. I’m sure in his pea-brain he’s a “people person.”

I’ve been drunk having conversations with dog turds that were more pleasant and helpful than THAT little chat with THAT tool.

“Noise ordinance.”

Thanks, open-pipes, loud-pipes-save-lives crowd. Appreciate it. Now WE’RE ****** in new ways to be ****** on a bike that’s so loud I have to shut it off and re-start it to make sure it’s running.

<sigh>

OK. The retiree-cum-guard-people-person is of NO damn help. We’re not getting to where we need to go on the bike. Time to just find a spot to get off the bike and think about this for a minute.

It’s not an adventure until you’re not sure if you’re going to make it home, right?

Yup.

Mental note: a tight CVS parking lot is NOT a good place to try to find some peace and quiet on Hilton Head Island. Trust me.

Just across the street, though was a bank, so we popped over there and hopped off to think about things.

Thought #1: DAMN am I EVER glad we didn’t come down the previous night. We woulda been there after dark, in the rain, turned away from our destination. At least this day the weather is nice and sunny and warm. It just sucked a wee bit.

After a call and a couple of texts to Rich, I was ready to just roll out to the Hilton Head airport and just put the bike in long term parking for a few days. No biggie. Not my first (or second or third or…) choice, but when sometimes this is how things work out.

Just as I finished putting the address for the airport into the GPS, a fella approaches us…

Fella: “Hi there! Nice bike! Where ya from?”

Me: “Columbus, Ohio.”

Fella: “Wow! You’re a ways from home. Where you headed?”

Me: “Well, we WERE headed to the gated community around the corner from here, but they don’t allow motorcycles inside the community.”

Fella: “Hmm… Yeah. They do that.”

Me: “So, we’re just trying to find a spot to stash the bike for a few days. Think we have it figured out, though – we’re just gonna go to the airport and put ‘er there.”

Fella: After a quick blank stare and a blink. “You can park it here.”

Me: While trying to sound eloquent and all that… “Duhhhh…. Doyyyyyyy…. Huh?”

Fella: “It’s cool. I’m the manager here. Just pull it into one of those spots back there. I’ll tell the guys inside. It’s no problem.”

Wow. I was dumbfounded.

Screw it – the bike’s gotta go SOMEwhere, so why not there? Close enough to check in on it regularly … in a bank parking lot, so there’s gotta be security and stuff. Why not…

Me: “Thank you VERY much for your offer. I’d like to take you up on that.”

Turns out he rides as well (a Suzuki cruiser) and ‘knows how it goes sometimes.’

Only on a bike.

So, for all your banking needs in Hilton Head, stop by and talk with Chris Johnson’s staff at … well, I can’t really SAY the corporate name of the bank, but they are at the corner of Pope Ave. and New Orleans Road.

After getting Chris’ card, and a call to Rich to come get us, we unloaded all our crap, tossed it into Rich’s car, and headed to our lodgings for the next few nights.

I was soooooo tempted to give the retiree-cum-guard-people-person the bird on the way in but … nah. The P.O.S. just wasn’t worth the effort.

So between the rain that forced us off the road, and the no-motorcycles-allowed community, hopefully now you see the drama.

I hate drama.

 

[dcarver]

*Most* excellent RR, BG!

The narrative - which takes all the time, is the key.

I was thanking my lucky stars for the addition of the Admore lights on the saddle-bags, because I had the hazards on, riding no faster than 50, hugging that right white line as my helmet visor first fogged up, then got water on the inside. In other words, I couldn’t hardly see a damn thing, and we were getting passed by 18-wheelers running 70-plus.

Yeah, been there. Scary as **** aint it? You're surviving, and they are making the next load on time. PuppyChow recently had similar experience. As we all have, assuming we ride.

Keep it going Andy, I'm really enjoying this one.. :clapping:

 

[BikerGeek99]

The narrative - which takes all the time, is the key.

Keep it going Andy, I'm really enjoying this one.. :clapping:

Thanks, Don. I really appreciate it. :drinks:

 

[BikerGeek99]

So enough of the drama already.

Let’s get down to why this ride report is trbl (jes plain trbl).

Not much … Actually, no riding for the next few days.

After Rich picked us up and took us back to the condo where we’d be staying with Rich and his dad (a fella we’ve met several times over the years and who is just an all-around cool guy), we chilled over a couple of much-needed beers and headed for some grub.

They took us to a place called Hudson’s. It’s a place on the water just off Port Royal Sound and … wow. Damn was that some incredible shrimp.

Sooze had the shrimp po’ boy.

And I had their pan-sauteed shrimp. It was –spectacular- and see the weird-looking fried things below my fries? Those are 3 of the most incredible home-made hush puppies ever known to mankind.

Over our shoulder, the tide was out and this sunken boat was on the rocks.

Us. Left-to-right: me, Sooze, Barney (Rich’s dad), and Rich.

After all the crappy weather the at the end of the day yesterday, and the crap we had to go through to just park the damn bike … Ahhh….

After we ate, we wandered onto the dock to check things out. This boat was docked right by the restaurant. Guess that’s why their shrimp was so fresh.

This was hanging in the water and there was a critter inside waiting to be cooked.

A familiar shot for some / most of you.

The deck of that fishing boat – I personally like the little kettle grill.

Just so you know.

A fella came out and pulled up the crab pot that was in the water. There’s a crab in there – it’s in the bottom of the pot, closest to the camera. It was pissed.

 

[BikerGeek99]

An artsy-fartsy shot of that anchor that was over our shoulder earlier.

We weren’t quite sure if it was going to rain or what.

Back at the condo, it was definitely time to ree-the-fook-lax.

This was the view off the deck out back.

Sooze took it all in stride.

I called my mom to check in to let her know we were there OK and for a status check on our cats that she was stopping in to care for.

Rich has been coming down here for years with his family and friends of family. One thing they regularly do is go crabbing. He had told me about this before. Since we’re there … and I loves me some crabs … why the hell not.

Getting ready: the bucket is for the yummy crabs we’re gonna catch, the yellow tray has / had the chicken backs that’re gonna be some nasty-*** crab yum-yums for bait, the thumbs-up are to remind ourselves to NOT let the crabs grab onto them, and the beer is because we’re going fishing. You know how it goes.

It’s a short walk from the condo to the sound to let them there crabs outta the water so we can eat ‘em. And, seeing this picture for the first time … suh-WEET jee-zus my legs make me look like I’m Canadian they’re so damn un-tanned.

Not many people out on the beach today but, as Rich said, overcast skies tend to make for better crabbing.

Wearing my kick-*** Alaska Crabs Dutch Harbor t-shirt (yeah, Sooze and I are huge fans of Deadliest Catch so – c’mon – I see how this works, right??), I was assured of my pending success as a crabber.

Rich guided us to a spot by this rocky thingamabob.

It was still overcast, which Rich said was good…

And Sooze took pictures of rocks.

 

[BikerGeek99]

Sooze spied this stuff in the rocks.

Looking out over the rocky thingamabob.

Meanwhile, we were crabbing!

Rich caught the first critter.

Yum!

We kept at it. Rich caught more than I did, but it was my first try.

The beach was deserted.

This reminded me of the line from Forrest Gump about shrimping being tough.

The beach was deserted, but there were spectators.

 

[BikerGeek99]

Sooze was getting more pictures of crabs that I was catching them!

What an incredibly boring place stay this place is.

Seemed like all I could do was catch my bait.

Rich, on the other hand, was doing well. But he was running 2 lines to my one.

However, I was NOT to be denied. That’s right – my first crab. WOO-HOO!! Yum…

Now how the hell do ya get that critter outta the net and into the bucket….

Not long after … Number 2, baby!!

A bucket of bottom-dwelling crustacean yumness.

Drama? What drama? The beach was empty, and we repeatedly saw dolphins swimming about out in the sound. Ahh….

The tide was rolling in, the sun was going down, we were getting hungry, and I had to pee (which is not good for crabbing). So we headed in.

 

[BikerGeek99]

A few shots from outside the condo.

Gone-over critter remnants.

A private marina across the waterway. When the tide is all the way out, the boats just rest on their hulls in the mud.

These guys flew overhead.

The marina across the waterway with the tide in.

Anyway. Back to important stuff. Yummy bottom-dwelling crustacean yumness.

Dolly, ever the curious one, had to check out the crabs.

Have ya ever heard crabs scream when they go into a pot of boiling water?

Yah – me, neither.

Dolly took a nap outside.

With some (wet from yesterday’s rain) reading material from Quebec.

 

[BikerGeek99]

As the crabs were being yummified, I noticed these guys going by. Turns out they do kayak tours! I’ve done jet ski tours of Key West before, and have always wanted to try out a kayak. Hmm… Next time…

Meanwhile … Yum…

Cooked ‘em. Drained ‘em. Chilled ‘em. Yum….

Dinner for tonight, though?

In the meantime, the sun was going down, so Sooze and I hustled across the way to try to get some cool coastal sunset pictures.

I’m still working in camera settings and composition and stuff.

The wind had really kicked up, but it was very comfortable this evening.

Back at the condo, our grilled steaks were yummy and we had a great time chatting with Rich and Barney.

I went out and tried some after-dark extended-exposure shots from the deck.

The palm tree isn’t out of focus – the wind was pretty stiff and the fronds (?) were just being whipped about by the wind.

We called it a night. So did Dolly.

 

[escapefjrtist]

Very entertaining RR and some great pics too!

Thanks for sharing.

--G

 

[Bustanut joker]

Two things here..

One, How much weight did you lose riding in the wet? I mean Shart melts ya know..

Twice this year I've been caught up in storms like you describe.. Lost six pounds as sugar don't erode quite so quickly.

And, Love the shots of you crabbing but I has hoping to see one of them mean suckers firmly attached to your scrotum.

 

[wheatonFJR]

Nice report there Andy...know the tense drama of thunderstorms and water washing down yer helmet...but have never done that with a backseater on board.

Seems like a report of contrasts...the bad weather with the good weather, the jackwagon vs the bank manager...the stress vs the relaxation.

You appreciate the goodness all the more when you've seen the other side just before.

Great report! :clapping:

 

[Fred W]

Great trbl ride report so far!! (I assume there will be more)

But, not knowing, I have to ask: What are "rusty cans of used ****" worth?

:rofl: That's a great line...