Aircraft Maintenance?

[snowmonkey]

Aircraft Maintenance ?After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form called a "Gripe Sheet" which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the Gripe Sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P); and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident. --------------------------------------------------------------------- P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit. P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order. P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what they're for. P: IFF inoperative. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed. P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.S: Took hammer away from midget.

 

[Rogue]

Didn't know Qantas had targeting Radar in their passenger aircraft.... Must be for those low cost price wars. :blink:

 

[Mike-H]

 

[speedjunkie]

MAN!! I wish I could get away with signing off squawk sheets like that! But if I did, I'd have an ENTIRE flight department in the middle of my @ss! Might be worth it tho. Maybe a photo copy and then the real sign-off on the originals.

Mike

 

[ScrapeApe]

Speedjunkie - you a fellow maintainer?

 

[speedjunkie]

Speedjunkie - you a fellow maintainer?

Yep! I work for a FBO/MX facility in Wichita, KS called Eaglejet Aviation. We provide primarily quick-turn MX on all jet aircraft. I'm the MX manager, but still turn wrenches. You?

Mike

 

[ScrapeApe]

Civilian F-15 avionics tech for FL Nat'l Guard. Been known to sign off bogus write-ups as removed and replaced control stick actuators. You wouldn't believe how many of those go bad!!

 

[Jarmo]

I am into depot level aircraft maintenance also .It seems that usually you have to sign off some work in acordance with some maintenance procedure that is written by some office person who has less of a clue how to fix the problem than you do.

When the documentation paperwork out weighs the aircraft then it is close to test flight time..

I also get to manufacture aircraft parts .

Jarmo

 

[odot]

Too bad my company doesn't fly into wichita....(get a basketball team). Would love to meet you, speed. Otherwise, I just work on boeing 727's. We have bogus write-ups, too.....we just have to do something about them.

 

[speedjunkie]

I know what you mean about the write ups. We do ALOT of MX for a very picky customer. I just about signed off a swk the other day as readjusted the nut behind the wheel! Control wheel that is. 727's and F-15's are just a bit bigger than what I'm used to. Mostly Learjets and Challengers for me, with the occassional Beechjet and Slowtation thrown in the mix.

Mike

 

[Bluebullet]

I signed one off with found loose nut between yoke and pilot seat. Removed nut ops check good. But then I'm the stupidvisor on the nite shift so I got away with it. I wrote the log entry corectly.

 

[odot]

I'm calling the F.A.A. You're busted, dude. :haha:

 

[Bluebullet]

I'm calling the F.A.A. You're busted, dude. haha.gif

Be careful dude they will ask you a lot of questions, they are here to help.