Bad case of crabs.........

[radman]

 

[Fallen Jim Rides again]

When my spider had crabs we had to put her down.

 

[radman]

 

[Fallen Jim Rides again]

Fruit flavored yogurt. Ok plain is ok too.

Under the advice of a physician, for real.

Is healthy and fun.

 

[twowheelnut]

(Keep in mind that this joke is of Irish origin...)

Declan the Crab

Declan the humble crab and Kate the Lobster Princess were madly, deeply and passionately in Love. For months they enjoyed an idyllic relationship until one day Kate scuttled over to Declan in tears.

"We can't see each other anymore...." she sobbed.

"Why?" gasped Declan.

"Daddy says crabs are too common," she wailed. "He claims you, a mere crab, and a poor one at that, are the lowest class of crustacean... and that no daughter of his will marry someone who can only walk sideways."

Declan was shattered, and scuttled sidewards away into the darkness and to drink himself into a filthy state of aquatic oblivion. That night, the great Lobster Ball was taking place. Lobsters came from far and wide, dancing and merry making, but the lobster Princess refused to join in, choosing instead to sit by her father's side, inconsolable.

Suddenly the doors burst open, and Declan the crab strode in. The Lobsters all stopped their dancing, the Princess gasped and the King Lobster rose from his throne. Slowly, painstakingly, Declan the crab made his way across the floor...and all could see that he was walking not sideways, but FORWARDS, one claw after another!

Step by step he made his approach towards the throne, until he finally looked King Lobster in the eye. There was a deadly hush. Finally, the crab spoke..............

"****, I'm pissed."

 

[TheAxeman]

Two Wheel,

There are people out there willing to help you....

 

[Fallen Jim Rides again]

Dunno if I can help, but I sure as hell want to encourage him.

 

[twowheelnut]

Two Wheel,There are people out there willing to help you....

You don't get the joke then?

 

[TheAxeman]

Call me dense....I laughed only because I couldn't believe I read the whole thing, now, dammit, I just read it AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!

 

[twowheelnut]

Call me dense....I laughed only because I couldn't believe I read the whole thing, now, dammit, I just read it AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!

I gave a hint right up front...

Irish refer to being drunk as being 'pissed'. The crab when sober walks sideways. The crab when 'pissed' walks straight forward.

Got it? No? Nevermind then...

 

[radman]

 

[madmike2]

You may be trying to explain the joke to a blonde!

 

[zzkenoman]

I wanna know if there are more than one spider, and where that went!

 

[6mmbr]

ahhh..Professor, I see you've captured

the rare 'Bush Spider'

otherwise known as "cunniligus biteyourtongus"

 

[benneyb]

Man, I love this board and this group.

Everytime I visit I LMAO at least once! :rolf:

 

[BlueWing]

Sure cure for the little devils; throw flaming gasoline on them and put the fire out with an icepick. Works every time. :dribble:

 

[throttlejockeyTJ]

True Story

An 80 year old guy from Nebraska caught a rat. He threw the rat on a burning pile of leaves. The burning rat runs away back into the cornhuskers house and burns it to the ground. Don't make like Mother Cat and play with the varments. Ack like Clint Eastwood. "If your going to shoot, shoot don't talk." :clap:

 

[donaldb]

So if the cat chokes on the mouse who killed who? :blink:

 

[MrT]

Careful,,,, they say those crabs can pole vault if they have toothpicks handy!