Fencer
Why yes, I am a Smart ASS
Biker Road Rules
Midnight Bugs taste Best
Saddlebags can never hold everything you want, but they CAN hold everything you need.
Wear Heavy Boots. You can't kick things when you're wearin' sneakers
NEVER argue with a woman holding a torque wrench
If you're a complainer, ride at the back of the pack
so you won't contaminate the rest of the group.
Never try to race an old Geezer, he may have one more gear than you.
The size of the PISTON don't tell you nothin' about the DEPTH of the stroke.
Home is where your bike sits still long enough to leave a few drops of oil on the ground.
You'll get farther down the road if you learn to use more than two fingers on the front brake.
Routine maintenance should never be neglected
It takes more love to share the saddle than it does to share the bed.
The only good view of a thunderstorm is in your rearview mirror.
Never be afraid to slow down.
Only Bikers understand why dogs love to stick their heads out car windows.
Bikes don't leak oil, they mark their territory.
Never ask a biker for directions if you're in a hurry to get there.
If it take more than 3 bolts to hold it on, it's probably crucial.
Anything that shows up on more than 2 bikes is a FAD.
Remember that you will be judged by the Horse you rode in on.
Don't ride so late into the night that you sleep through the sunrise.
Pie and Coffee are as important as gasoline.
The number of kicks it takes to start your bike is directly
proportional to the number of spectators.
Never ask your bike to scream before her throat is good and warm.
Sometimes it takes a whole tankful of gas before you can think straight.
If you want to get a job, you may have to compromise your principals,
you may even have to shave.
Riding faster than everyone else only guarantees you'll ride alone.
Never hesitate to ride past the last street light at the edge of town.
Never loan your bike to someone else, and never ride another's.
If the bike ain't braking properly, you don't start by rebuilding the engine.
Motorcycling is a giant game of Mines Bigger than yours!
Remember to pay as much attention to your partner as you do your carburetor.
Sometimes the best communication happens when you're on seperate bikes.
Well-trained reflexes are quicker than luck.
Good coffee should be indistinquishable from 50 weight motor oil.
The best alarm clock is sunshine on Chrome.
Learn to do counterintuitive things that may someday save your butt.
The twisties-not the superslabs-seperate the bikers from the squids.
Beware the biker whose ink peels off.
New leather don't smell right.
When you're riding lead--don't spit.
If you really want to know what's going on, watch what's happening at least 5 cars ahead.
Don't make a reputation you'll have to live down or run away from later.
If the person in the next lane at the stoplight rolls up the window and
locks the door, support their view of life by snarling at them.
Smoke and grease can hide a multitude of errors, but only for so long.
A friend is someone who'll get out of bed at 2am to drive his pickup to the
middle of nowhere to get you when you're broken down.
If she changes her oil more than she changes her mind--follow her.
The thicker your oil, the hotter you can take it.
Catchin a June bug @ 70 mph can double your vocabulary.
If you want to get somewhere before sundown, you can't stop at every tavern.
There's something ugly about a NEW bike on a trailer.
You can always hear a classic open primary-
it sounds like $1.34 in change is loose in the friction plates.
Hunger can make even roadkill taste good.
You gotta be smart enough to understand the rules of motorcycling,
and dumb enough to think the games important.
Don't lead the pack if you don't know where you're goin'.
If you leave without one of your group, you better hope he doesn't catch up at the next stop.
Sleep with one arm thru the spokes and keep your pants on.
Practice wrenching on your own bike.
Everyone crashes. Some get back on. Some don't. Some can't.
Three things can't be trusted: a fart, a cook, and a rear view mirror.
Beware the biker who says the bike never breaks down. Some bikes run on 99-octane ego.
Owning 2 bikes is useful because at least one can be raided for parts at any given time.
You'll know she loves you if she offers to let you ride her bike.
Don't do it and she'll love you even more.
Don't argue with an 18-wheeler.
Don't lean on the horn 'til you're out of danger. Then blast it for all you're worth.
Never be ashamed to unlearn an old habit.
Maintenance is as much art as it is science.
A good long ride can clear your mind, restore your faith, and use up a lot of gasoline.
If the country side seems boring, stop, get off your bike, and go sit in the
ditch long enough to appreciate what was here before the asphalt came.
If you can't get it goin with bungee cords and electricians tape-it's serious.
If you ride like there's no tomorrow-there won't be.
Bikes parked out front mean good chicken-fried steak inside.
If you want to complain about the pace being set by the road captain,
you better be prepared to lead the group yourself.
Gray-haired bikers don't get that way from pure luck.
There are drunk bikers. There are old bikers. there are NO old, drunk bikers.
We don't need no steenkin' weekend warriors.
Thin leather looks good in the bar, but it won't save you from "road rash" if you go down.
The best modifications cannot be seen from the outside.
Always replace the cheapest parts first.
You can forget what you do for a livin when your knees are in the breeze.
No matter what marque you ride, it's all the same wind.
It takes both pistons and cylinders to make a bike run.
One is not more important than the other.
Midnight Bugs taste Best
Saddlebags can never hold everything you want, but they CAN hold everything you need.
Wear Heavy Boots. You can't kick things when you're wearin' sneakers
NEVER argue with a woman holding a torque wrench
If you're a complainer, ride at the back of the pack
so you won't contaminate the rest of the group.
Never try to race an old Geezer, he may have one more gear than you.
The size of the PISTON don't tell you nothin' about the DEPTH of the stroke.
Home is where your bike sits still long enough to leave a few drops of oil on the ground.
You'll get farther down the road if you learn to use more than two fingers on the front brake.
Routine maintenance should never be neglected
It takes more love to share the saddle than it does to share the bed.
The only good view of a thunderstorm is in your rearview mirror.
Never be afraid to slow down.
Only Bikers understand why dogs love to stick their heads out car windows.
Bikes don't leak oil, they mark their territory.
Never ask a biker for directions if you're in a hurry to get there.
If it take more than 3 bolts to hold it on, it's probably crucial.
Anything that shows up on more than 2 bikes is a FAD.
Remember that you will be judged by the Horse you rode in on.
Don't ride so late into the night that you sleep through the sunrise.
Pie and Coffee are as important as gasoline.
The number of kicks it takes to start your bike is directly
proportional to the number of spectators.
Never ask your bike to scream before her throat is good and warm.
Sometimes it takes a whole tankful of gas before you can think straight.
If you want to get a job, you may have to compromise your principals,
you may even have to shave.
Riding faster than everyone else only guarantees you'll ride alone.
Never hesitate to ride past the last street light at the edge of town.
Never loan your bike to someone else, and never ride another's.
If the bike ain't braking properly, you don't start by rebuilding the engine.
Motorcycling is a giant game of Mines Bigger than yours!
Remember to pay as much attention to your partner as you do your carburetor.
Sometimes the best communication happens when you're on seperate bikes.
Well-trained reflexes are quicker than luck.
Good coffee should be indistinquishable from 50 weight motor oil.
The best alarm clock is sunshine on Chrome.
Learn to do counterintuitive things that may someday save your butt.
The twisties-not the superslabs-seperate the bikers from the squids.
Beware the biker whose ink peels off.
New leather don't smell right.
When you're riding lead--don't spit.
If you really want to know what's going on, watch what's happening at least 5 cars ahead.
Don't make a reputation you'll have to live down or run away from later.
If the person in the next lane at the stoplight rolls up the window and
locks the door, support their view of life by snarling at them.
Smoke and grease can hide a multitude of errors, but only for so long.
A friend is someone who'll get out of bed at 2am to drive his pickup to the
middle of nowhere to get you when you're broken down.
If she changes her oil more than she changes her mind--follow her.
The thicker your oil, the hotter you can take it.
Catchin a June bug @ 70 mph can double your vocabulary.
If you want to get somewhere before sundown, you can't stop at every tavern.
There's something ugly about a NEW bike on a trailer.
You can always hear a classic open primary-
it sounds like $1.34 in change is loose in the friction plates.
Hunger can make even roadkill taste good.
You gotta be smart enough to understand the rules of motorcycling,
and dumb enough to think the games important.
Don't lead the pack if you don't know where you're goin'.
If you leave without one of your group, you better hope he doesn't catch up at the next stop.
Sleep with one arm thru the spokes and keep your pants on.
Practice wrenching on your own bike.
Everyone crashes. Some get back on. Some don't. Some can't.
Three things can't be trusted: a fart, a cook, and a rear view mirror.
Beware the biker who says the bike never breaks down. Some bikes run on 99-octane ego.
Owning 2 bikes is useful because at least one can be raided for parts at any given time.
You'll know she loves you if she offers to let you ride her bike.
Don't do it and she'll love you even more.
Don't argue with an 18-wheeler.
Don't lean on the horn 'til you're out of danger. Then blast it for all you're worth.
Never be ashamed to unlearn an old habit.
Maintenance is as much art as it is science.
A good long ride can clear your mind, restore your faith, and use up a lot of gasoline.
If the country side seems boring, stop, get off your bike, and go sit in the
ditch long enough to appreciate what was here before the asphalt came.
If you can't get it goin with bungee cords and electricians tape-it's serious.
If you ride like there's no tomorrow-there won't be.
Bikes parked out front mean good chicken-fried steak inside.
If you want to complain about the pace being set by the road captain,
you better be prepared to lead the group yourself.
Gray-haired bikers don't get that way from pure luck.
There are drunk bikers. There are old bikers. there are NO old, drunk bikers.
We don't need no steenkin' weekend warriors.
Thin leather looks good in the bar, but it won't save you from "road rash" if you go down.
The best modifications cannot be seen from the outside.
Always replace the cheapest parts first.
You can forget what you do for a livin when your knees are in the breeze.
No matter what marque you ride, it's all the same wind.
It takes both pistons and cylinders to make a bike run.
One is not more important than the other.
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