Buried Another Friend Today - 51 years old

[dcarver]

Brain tumor. 8 months of hell before he died. Not looking for 'sorry for the loss of a bud' comments' Rather, what things do you do make you feel better after loss of someone you care about? Me, I hosted a few to my bud tonight, recalled the good times, then moved some dirt on my tractor for my MX track. Figured it was safer than riding intoxicated.

I love my tractor. Last night and today it rained, the first of the season. The aroma of freshly wet dirt after a long and dry summer, to me, is beautiful, and I love it. So tonight, in the rain, I moved some dirt, built a new jump, and remembered my friend.

Works for me..What works for you?

RIP Scott, may the roads ahead be freshly paved and twisty.

 

[painman]

Just remember who they really were and all the good times you had together. And then.....just never forget. God Bless....PM. <><

 

[radman]

You do what you did. Somehow, despite everything, we find are better equipped for **** like this than we expect-it just takes the event to bring it out. Death is as much a part of life as living-natural and unavoidable. Though your friend died hard, this too is part of the deal. We just don't know till it hits, some easy, some terrible. It sucks, but it is what it is. Sorry, in any case. :huh:

 

[Ari Rankum]

I do the Irish thing. I laugh; I drink; I try to share both with those who are grieving.

On the day my brother's daughter was interred, I was laughing almost to the point of tears. I made my brother laugh, hard, as well. I think I made that day less horrible for him. That was my goal. Some of the on-lookers may have been shocked. If so, I think they've misunderstood some of what it means to be human. Sometimes, when things truly, truly suck, you just have to chuckle, shake your head, clear your head, and prepare for the next wave. If a loved one is going to get swamped by the next wave, you've got to step up.

Death ought to be, in my view, a time to celebrate the life of the one who is no more. Anyone whose funeral I'm likely to attend will have provided more moments of glee than I can possibly recount during a wake. I'll recount as many as I can, anyway. Most everyone has done some truly memorable things in their lives that ought to be brought to the attention of all those who care about them. There's no better time than the day after which the natural tendency will be to think about them less and less. Wakes should be full of people in the same condition.

That said, meditating on the tractor is equipotent. Sometimes, more effective. Take care.

R.I.P. Scott.

 

[FJRayJ]

Brain tumor. 8 months of hell before he died. Not looking for 'sorry for the loss of a bud' comments' Rather, what things do you do make you feel better after loss of someone you care about? Me, I hosted a few to my bud tonight, recalled the good times, then moved some dirt on my tractor for my MX track. Figured it was safer than riding intoxicated.
I love my tractor. Last night and today it rained, the first of the season. The aroma of freshly wet dirt after a long and dry summer, to me, is beautiful, and I love it. So tonight, in the rain, I moved some dirt, built a new jump, and remembered my friend.

Works for me..What works for you?

RIP Scott, may the roads ahead be freshly paved and twisty.

Sorry for your loss.

But for your friend, I imagine he did what he was supposed to do. 8 months? It sounds like he fought hard and faced what came as long as he could. I would guess that is what he thought he should do. It sounds like that's what he did.

The deal has a start and an end. All the endings aren't the same but all of us will pass one day.

Be thankful for the memories you have and be proud of the way your friend could stand up to this.

It seems to me like you reacted like I would. Take each day as it comes and do the best you can. It sounds like your friend did.

FJRayJ

 

[dcarver]

Thanks Guys. Seriously.

You know... when you consider how little time we really have.. it makes one want to ride even more. Just this April, after taking ownership of my beloved 'Crzy8', I have discovered my lost love of touring. Having power, handling, and braking only sweetens the pot. 13k+ miles later.. and earlier today I was thinking I couldn't afford a 4 week long tour to the right coast... house, truck, bills... pay cut at work... funny how life can reduce you to basic elements.. I have wanted, since high school, yet to be accomplished, to take an entire summer and ride a motorcycle to places new. I dream of riding in Europe. Year after year, excuse after excuse. Not done. I'm talking high school here I had this dream. Even typed a letter, 1974, on a manual typewriter, to my Grandma about my dream.. and it's not yet happened.

OK, I'm melachonly now but then again... Maybe this is the impetus to reorganize my life and finances to allow the dream to occur while I physically can. Already I feel the effects of age.. knees that no longer bend, lower back that screams after 3 hours, and have this horrible feeling that time may be running out so why wait? Sorry for the diatribe but having one of those life moments right about now... it just makes a guy or gal want to simply go for it... Anyone want to buy 2 properties in CA so I can just do it? OK, as the English say, 'Chin Up Ol' Boy'.. and mananna will be a brand new day.

 

[Windjammer]

and have this horrible feeling that time may be running out so why wait?

Amen to that.

About a year ago I lost one of my riding buds, who passed on after a long illness. We had some great rides together. Since then, I've been struck by the irony that we seem to live life backwards. We work our ***** off for 40-50 years so we can retire at a time when our bodies are shot - usually just in time for the doctors, lawyers and morticians to benefit from our hard work. I think it would be better to retire just after college, maybe until age 40 or so, then work until you die.

As far as your pal, you did right. In a way, he's not gone. Next time you find yourself riding a long boring stretch of highway, you'll have your memories of him to keep you company while you travel. RIP Scott.

 

[Wolfhound]

My best friend from High School passed away this year from cancer. We raced bikes together at the tracks around the state (Oklahoma) in the '60s. My closesy friend even though we were a thousand miles apart, always kept in contact & visited. On my IBA SS 1k I felt like He was with me all the way, very comforting to have Him along..Still think of Him everytime I get out and ride a ways...R.I.P. Paul Riggs

 

[Toecutter]

Time heals. Talking helps. After Kirk (#159 was his employee number) died things got pretty rough for a while.

Then they settled down again.

Today Skyway rode down and met me for breakfast, we rode about halfway back to Sonora together, got a milkshake, then went our separate ways. At one point, as I was heading home, I looked down at the display to see that it was 1:59. Although it's been five years, seeing that number brings back a ton of memories. So I was just pacing along, dedicating that minute to fond memories and imagining that Kirk's spirit was along with me. Suddenly, my Escort alerted, I grabbed some binders to scrub down to legal speed, the CHP car didn't turn around, back to the here & now, 2:00 and all was well.

Grieve now, keep Scott's memory dear to your heart, hoist a few, go outside and gaze up at that expansive California sky, knowing that the energy of another good soul has been released from its earthbound enclosure, back into the eternal mystery of life.

Someday, maybe not soon but eventually, things will balance out again.

 

[FastJoyRide]

Don, my heart goes out to you tonight bud. There is just way too much of this **** happening and even if it isn't only the good dying young - too many are.

You need to do that tour you know. Let me know when you are coming nearby and I would be proud to ride for a week or two with you.

My mantra is that this isn't the practice round - it's the real game. Squeeze as much juice as you can out of every day and try not to build up a big bunch of never-got-it-dones just in case the call comes too soon for you.

I've had a couple of real good slaps upside the head in my life like you're coping with today and they invariably help me to get my head right. Stop and smell the flowers my friend... RIP Scott

 

[OrangevaleFJR]

Thanks Guys. Seriously.
You know... when you consider how little time we really have.. it makes one want to ride even more. Just this April, after taking ownership of my beloved 'Crzy8', I have discovered my lost love of touring. Having power, handling, and braking only sweetens the pot. 13k+ miles later.. and earlier today I was thinking I couldn't afford a 4 week long tour to the right coast... house, truck, bills... pay cut at work... funny how life can reduce you to basic elements.. I have wanted, since high school, yet to be accomplished, to take an entire summer and ride a motorcycle to places new. I dream of riding in Europe. Year after year, excuse after excuse. Not done. I'm talking high school here I had this dream. Even typed a letter, 1974, on a manual typewriter, to my Grandma about my dream.. and it's not yet happened.

You are living your dream. You have your tractor, your MX track, your bikes of various types. You could have taken the all that stuff and cashed it in on your dream, but you decided to make your regular life your dream instead. You say that when you consider how short life is, you want to ride more. Well, that's what you are doing. You have your bikes, ride and realize that your dream has been replaced by a better reality.

You can still live your dream. It's not too late. That said, if you never get to Europe to ride so what? You live in one of the best riding locales in the world. People dream about coming to where you live to do what you can do everyday.

About your friend, I'm sorry his last months were so hard. I think Rad nailed my point of view on all that. +1 to what he said and I'll add: You will never have a shortage of friends.

 

[wheatonFJR]

Thanks Guys. Seriously.
You know... when you consider how little time we really have.. it makes one want to ride even more. Just this April, after taking ownership of my beloved 'Crzy8', I have discovered my lost love of touring. Having power, handling, and braking only sweetens the pot. 13k+ miles later.. and earlier today I was thinking I couldn't afford a 4 week long tour to the right coast... house, truck, bills... pay cut at work... funny how life can reduce you to basic elements.. I have wanted, since high school, yet to be accomplished, to take an entire summer and ride a motorcycle to places new. I dream of riding in Europe. Year after year, excuse after excuse. Not done. I'm talking high school here I had this dream. Even typed a letter, 1974, on a manual typewriter, to my Grandma about my dream.. and it's not yet happened. ...

Yeah, 1974 was the year I got the bug. I was a sophomore in high school, had no money, but I was at a friend's house and his older brother had a brand new issue of Cycle magazine with a long distance comparison of some bikes...I was hooked on the idea of touring the country after that. Two years earlier, as my dad drove us in his brand new Vista Cruiser, we were stopped at a light right in front of a mcy dealer. He joked,"Hey, how bout we sell this car and tour the country on motorcycles!?" Well, that got things started, but the August 1974 Cycle magazine finished it for me.

I was convinced I could save money from my part-time job to pay for that $4000 BMW R90/6 by graduation. That never happened, but I did get a Honda CB550F, then a couple of years later got an XS11 Special. I have taken long trips on those bikes and my FJR.

I have not toured the country in one shot, but I have visited many places and states. I look forward to taking "that trip" sometime soon in my lifetime...after I get a Russell Day-Long and a compatible riding partner to share the trip with...oh and maybe...

 

[Wolfhound]

I didn't want to bring up those that died next to me in battle but there is not a day that goes by that they are not in my thoughts as if yesterday. It is something that I have struggled with and still take medication over. I have never been able to stop dreaming & thinking about those days and the great people that were lost at such a young age while serving together.

I have joined The Patriot Guard Riders (Open to all) & when I can deal with it I try to attend as many Homecomings & Funerals as able to show these young Patriots my gratitude, something I nevergot to do with those I lost at such a young age....

 

[Geezer]

I get together with others who have also shared in the life of the person who passed. We share stories and laugh about the good times we had together. Like you, I hoist a few. Sometimes I cry. The pain passes and the good times are part of my life forever.

 

[rogdeb]

You do what you did. Somehow, despite everything, we find are better equipped for **** like this than we expect-it just takes the event to bring it out. Death is as much a part of life as living-natural and unavoidable. Though your friend died hard, this too is part of the deal. We just don't know till it hits, some easy, some terrible. It sucks, but it is what it is. Sorry, in any case. :huh:

+ 1 -- RIP Scott

 

[daveski]

3 years ago, my brother in law died of a brain cancer. It was a major motivation for me to buy a sport touring bike and ride again. He lived while alive and I will too. Sound like you are also. It seems like the best of people die before the time we would pick. Sorry for your loss.

 

[dcarver]

You are living your dream. You have your tractor, your MX track, your bikes of various types. You could have taken the all that stuff and cashed it in on your dream, but you decided to make your regular life your dream instead. You say that when you consider how short life is, you want to ride more. Well, that's what you are doing. You have your bikes, ride and realize that your dream has been replaced by a better reality.

Orangie, you hit the nail right on the head. Accountability is a wonderful thing, at all times. Fact is, I could have afforded my dream if I made it high enough priority. I haven't, no one has sponsored me, I haven't won the lottery, so who's ultimately responsible? ME. I must be having a shift of priorities now. That which used to be really important now hardly registers, replaced with other ideas and interests. Used to be racing was IT. 20 - 40 races a year. I haven't raced now for 8 months and it doesn't seem to bother me at all. I've kind of re-kindled my love of touring, and my definition (not SkooterG's ) of Long Distance Riding.

BTW, I woke up this morning feeling GREAT. My feet are still above ground, my doggie still loves me, and Monday I get to go for a long (for me) ride.

Thanks Guys - you are the best.

 

[OrangevaleFJR]

You are living your dream. You have your tractor, your MX track, your bikes of various types. You could have taken the all that stuff and cashed it in on your dream, but you decided to make your regular life your dream instead. You say that when you consider how short life is, you want to ride more. Well, that's what you are doing. You have your bikes, ride and realize that your dream has been replaced by a better reality.

Orangie, you hit the nail right on the head. Accountability is a wonderful thing, at all times. Fact is, I could have afforded my dream if I made it high enough priority. I haven't, no one has sponsored me, I haven't won the lottery, so who's ultimately responsible? ME. I must be having a shift of priorities now. That which used to be really important now hardly registers, replaced with other ideas and interests. Used to be racing was IT. 20 - 40 races a year. I haven't raced now for 8 months and it doesn't seem to bother me at all. I've kind of re-kindled my love of touring, and my definition (not SkooterG's ) of Long Distance Riding.

BTW, I woke up this morning feeling GREAT. My feet are still above ground, my doggie still loves me, and Monday I get to go for a long (for me) ride.

Thanks Guys - you are the best.

We like you too.

 

[FlyingLow]

You do what you did. Somehow, despite everything, we find are better equipped for **** like this than we expect-it just takes the event to bring it out. Death is as much a part of life as living-natural and unavoidable. Though your friend died hard, this too is part of the deal. We just don't know till it hits, some easy, some terrible. It sucks, but it is what it is. Sorry, in any case. :huh:

Poignant, and to the point. Nicely said, Rad.