airboss
Well-known member
This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to
Wal-Mart.Unfortunately, like most women--she loves to browse. Yesterday my
dear
wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart.
Dear Mrs. Galas,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a
commotion in
our store. We cannnot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban
both
of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Galas are listed below
and
are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
carts
when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute
intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
women's
restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an offical voice,
"Code 3
in Housewaresl Get on it right away."
5. August 4: Went to the service desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on
layaway.
6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION-WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other
shoppers
he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the
bedding
department.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying
and
screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a
mirror
while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department he asked
the
clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming
the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look'
by using
different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,
yelled "PICK ME, PICK ME!"
14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
assumed the
fetal positon and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"
And last, but not least.
15. October 23: Went into the fitting room, shut the door, waited
awhile, then
yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"
Best Regards,
Tom Richads Walmart Manager
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to
Wal-Mart.Unfortunately, like most women--she loves to browse. Yesterday my
dear
wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart.
Dear Mrs. Galas,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a
commotion in
our store. We cannnot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban
both
of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Galas are listed below
and
are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
carts
when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute
intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
women's
restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an offical voice,
"Code 3
in Housewaresl Get on it right away."
5. August 4: Went to the service desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on
layaway.
6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION-WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other
shoppers
he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the
bedding
department.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying
and
screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a
mirror
while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department he asked
the
clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming
the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look'
by using
different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,
yelled "PICK ME, PICK ME!"
14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
assumed the
fetal positon and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"
And last, but not least.
15. October 23: Went into the fitting room, shut the door, waited
awhile, then
yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"
Best Regards,
Tom Richads Walmart Manager
