Dang near died!

[Scab]

Okay, it's Wednesday morning and I have taken the day off. What to do? RIDE, of course! So off I go on a little morning excursion. I am heading over to town to fuel up the feejer, taking the back roads. (Actually, to get anywhere from my house, you have to take back roads.) I am cruising along, running about 80 or so, sweeping through the curves, careful to choose my lines, thinking to myself how impressed I am with my riding prowess...

Then, while in a wide sweeper to the right, out of nowhere, walking right into my path...A WILD TURKEY! Now, this ain't your average butterball, mind you. I kid you not, this things head was as high as my waist! This fat ******* had to weigh 30 or 35 pounds! ****! I imediately went into reactive collision advoidance, the turkey now has seen me, and distance is closing fast. The turkey began to turn to his right in an attempt to take flight back in the direction from which he came. (If any of you have seen a wild turkey take flight, you know this is not an instantanious thing. They need a frigin' runway.) Out come two of the biggest damn wings I have ever seen on anything with feathers, and they are in my line. Down with one wing thrust - tucking that left wing in just to miss my front tire. Now the upbeat...****! He's going to get sucked under the rear tire and I'm fixin' to launch off this thing like an ICBM! Then, out of nowhere, my right foot thrusts outward as far as my 32" inseam would stretch. I caught the left wing about mid-way, folding it up and sending Mr. turkey into a spinning nose-dive off the side of the road.

I am still alive. I check the rearview, so is Mr. turkey. *******.

Now, if it must be stated in my epitaph: "KILLED BY WILD TURKEY", then may I be found by the bar with an empty bottle in my hand - Not smeared down the asphalt with feathers up my ***!

 

[Toecutter]

Did he get away? Sounds yummy. Glad you're O.K.

 

[fretbender]

Nice. Keep up the skills and you might save a few bucks around next Thanksgiving.

 

[radman]

You know, if people would slow down, or better yet, stop using petroleum fueled vehicles altogether, then perhaps nature would recover, and animals would not need to live in such abject fear. You should be ashamed of yourself :angry:

 

[OrangevaleFJR]

A guy out here got knocked in the head by a wild turkey. He got a concussion while wearing a helmet, but somehow kept the bike up. The doctor that diagnosed a concussion was amazed the guy didn't crash because he thought that he should have been unconscious for some time.

:blink:

 

[Silver Penguin]

Do consider a helmet cam if you ever plan to do this again. It would be entertaining to watch, if your description is anything to go by.

Jill

 

[Bike Effects]

I had a turkey near miss in a 100MPH sweeper doing a track day at Thunderhill on my R1. I missed him, but I'm sure he took a few months off of my life span.

 

[gypsy]

Do consider a helmet cam if you ever plan to do this again. It would be entertaining to watch, if your description is anything to go by.
Jill

Or even a boot cam!

 

[FJRMGM]

I can relate - last October while riding in the Texas Hill Country I had a near-miss with a wild turkey.

Man, them sumbeeches look BIG when they are barely missing your head.

Mike

 

[Toynut]

That's the last time I leave a pile of corn in the middle of the road! :scare:

(OK, OK, how do you get your bird when it's out of season)?!! :trinibob:

 

[Scab]

The bird ******* survived as far as I can tell. On the return trip back to the homestead, I did a slow-speed survey of the area. Only thing left at the scene was a pile of ****. Not sure if it was his or mine.

 

[twowheelnut]

I come close to offing at least one turkey buzzard a year. They're usually munching on Kellogs Road Snacks © - now with Nutty Maggots , when you come 'round the corner and there they are. Never just one either. Big *******s, they have a 4 - 5' wing span and are even uglier than radman-****.

 

[Rogue]

... and are even uglier than radman-****.

Now that UGLY!

 

[FJRski]

I would definately resort to the other kind of Wild Turkey to dull the memory.

 

[odot]

Me, personally.....if you winged it. Go back and get it. It should fit in the saddle bags. We are higher up on the food chain and should be able to devour such creatures. Wait till someone starts crying about hitting a large bumble bee on the road.....this might get interesting.

:haha:

 

[user 357]

The buzzards are everywhere here in GA.....

Road kill snacks are their favorite stop.......

I have had alot of close calls with these critters, but no accidents yet...

 

[tripletango]

As soon as I see anything near the road, dogs birds etc. I hold down the horn button. Usually they have gone by the time you arrive at the road kill. Certainly does not work all the time but sure helps sometimes.

 

[RonBB]

A word to the wise. When coming up behind a wild turkey flying ahead of & in front of me at about an altitude of 40 feet I made the mistake of blowing my Magnum Blasters at him. He then wisely for him, bad for me proceeded to lighten his load in an attempt to speedup & gain altitude. NEVER BLOW YOU HORN WHEN FOLLOWING BEHIND & BELOW A TURKEY!

 

[odot]

Fodder for the goose? Yummy............ :lol: