In my local world, I usually end up leading the ride because I tend to ride the twistiest stuff the fastest. This is the way it should be, IMO. Putting a slower rider up front is bad for everyone. The faster rider has to hold back and doesn't enjoy the trip as much. And more importantly, the slower rider feels bad for holding people up, and ALWAYS pushes his comfort zone, which is a horrible decision.
OTOH, I don't mind following and will gladly do so in any situation. With many of my FJR friends outside of my local area, I follow just as much as lead. Usually we take turns.
I've lead many group rides whereby I've met new riders. I always try to have a pre-ride meeting to go over the following:
1. We are heading generally to ___________. Expect to stop every 50 - 75 miles. If you don't like something (or everything), please let me know whenever you can. I'll either change or at least tell you why I can't. This ride is about _______ miles for the day, and I would expect us to be home about _________ pm.
2. I'm going to ride about 10 over in the twisty stuff. On the boring straight stuff, much closer to the limit.
3. Please ride in stagger formation, keeping at least 1 second between you and the rider in front of you, and 2 seconds between you and the next rider in your part of the lane.
4. I'm going to use turn signals and hand signals. If I run up to a turn too quickly, I'm going to pass it up, rather than slam the brakes and take us all out like bowling pins. I'll find a safe place up the road for us to turn around.
5. Faster riders filter to the front only when safe to do so or on breaks. Please don't startle your friends.
6. Slower riders do not worry. If you lose sight of the rider in front, do NOT push yourself. Just stay on the road you are riding and enjoy your ride. We will NOT change roads until we have visual sight of you, and will gladly wait as long as it takes for you to catch up.
7. If I crash and can't speak for myself, there is an ICOE card in my jacket pocket.
8. If you need to stop for whatever reason (gear adjustment, bike issue, etc), the please stop ASAP. Eventually, we will learn that you stopped and come back for you. Do NOT keep riding worrying about some stupid **** because you don't want to be left behind.
9. If you change your mind about riding with us, please don't break off until you can clearly communicate what you are doing with another rider. This way, we won't worry about what happened to you.
10. Everyone - PLEASE ride your own ride. Our #1 objective is for everyone to get home safe.
I'm sure all this sound ridiculous to most, but I think it helps a lot. Even with experienced riders, it puts their mind at ease regarding what to expect, and that I'm not going to be an ****** (at least not intentionally).