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beemerdons

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For Aussies Surly, Thug, Queensland Ken and others Down Under!


 



Some of you may have have heard this sad tale before. A lovely story of looking at bright side of sad events.


 


A bloke's wife goes missing while diving off the West Australian Coast .


 


 


He reports the event, searches fruitlessly and spends a terrible night wondering what could have happened to her.


 


 


Next morning there's a knock at the door and he is confronted by a couple of police officers, the old Sarge and a younger Constable.


 


 


The Sarge says, “Mate, we have some news for you, unfortunately some really bad news, but, some good news, and maybe some more good news.”


 


 


“Well,” says the bloke, “I guess I'd better have the bad news first.”


 


 


The Sarge says, “I'm really sorry mate, but your wife is dead. Young Bill here found her lying at about five fathoms in a little cleft in the reef. He got a line around her and we pulled her up, but she was dead.”


 


 


The bloke is naturally distressed to hear of this and has a bit of a turn.


 


 


But after a few minutes he pulls himself together and asks what the good news is.


 


 


The Sarge says, “Well when we got your wife up there were quite a few really good sized lobsters and a swag of nice crabs attached to her, so we've brought you your share.”


 


 


He hands the bloke a bag with a couple of nice lobsters and four or five crabs in it.


 


 


“Geez thanks. They're bloody beauties. I guess it's an ill wind and all that... So, what's the other possible good news?”


 


 


“Well,” the Sarge says, “If you fancy a quick trip, young Bill and I get off duty at around 11 o'clock and we're gonna shoot over there and pull her up again.”






 




 
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One night we pulled a body out of the irrigation ditch that had been there since the night before...Close to 24 hours.

So we used a sling to bring the guy out of about 18" of standing water at 0300 on a warm summer night. He probably had 8-10 crawdads clinging to various parts of his face...Eyelids, ears, lips, nose, whatever they could latch onto. I'm one of those sick *******s that can eat a burrito while standing over a dead body. Almost nothing bothers me, but those crawdads made me want to hurl. I almost lost it, and have only eaten them at a resturant once since...Now that I know they will eat us right back.

 
Good one, funny !!!!!!!
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Western Australia has lots of big fish that eat you, rather a sore point making news at the moment.

I don't eat flake so hopefully the sharks respect my karma.

 
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Traffic cop attends a fatal car accident and must notify next of kin. He knocks on the door of the house of the fatality and asks the owner if he has a photo of his wife. The husband fetches a photo and shows the cop who says,

"Sorry but it looks like your wife is dead."

Husbands reply ,"I know she's not the best looker but she is a great cook."

 
Traffic cop attends a fatal car accident and must notify next of kin. He knocks on the door of the house of the fatality and asks the owner if he has a photo of his wife. The husband fetches a photo and shows the cop who says,"Sorry but it looks like your wife is dead."

Husbands reply ,"I know she's not the best looker but she is a great cook."
lol.gif
lol.gif
lol.gif


 

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