Future Arizona Residents

[Jer]

Arizona is not for weaklings!!!!!!

Priceless!

May 30th:

Just moved to Arizona. Now this is a state that knows how to live!!

Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! It is

beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.

June 14th:

Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an

air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see

the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshipper.

June 30th:

Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today Lots of cactus and

rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another

scorcher today, but I love it here.

July 10th:

The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used to

this kind of heat? At least it's kind of windy though. But getting used to

the heat is taking longer than I expected.

July 15th:

Fell asleep by the community pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my

body). Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson

though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

July 20th:

I missed Lomita (my cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By

the time I got to the hot car at noon, Lomita had died and swollen up to

the size of a shopping bag and stank up the upholstery. The car now smells

like Kibbles and *****. I learned my

lesson though. No more pets in this heat.

July 25th:

The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!! And it's hot as

hell. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the AC repairman charged

$200 just to drive

by and tell me he needed to order parts.

July 30th:

Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3 nights now. $275,000 house and I

can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?

Aug. 4th:

It's 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It cost

$500 and gets the temperature down to 85. I hate this stupid state.

Aug. 8th:

If another wise *** cracks, 'Hot enough for you today?' I'm going to

strangle him. Damn heat. By the time I get to work the radiator is boiling

over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!

Aug. 9th:

Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and when I sat on the

seats in the car, I thought my *** was on fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh

and all the hair on the back of my legs and *** Now my car smells like

burnt hair, fried ***, and baked cat.

Aug 10th:

The weather report might as well be a damn recording. Hot and sunny. Hot

and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do **** for 2 damn months

and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever

rain in this damn desert? Water rationing will be next, so my $3700 worth

of cactus will just dry up and blow away. Even the cactus can't live in

this damn heat.

Aug. 14th:

Welcome to HELL! Temperature got to 128 today. Forgot to crack the window

and blew the damn windshield out of the car. The installer came to fix it

and said, 'Hot enough for you today?' My sister had to spend $1500 to bail

me out of jail. Freaking Arizona. What

kind of a sick demented ***** would want to live here??

Will write later to let you know how the trial goes.'

 

[FJR-RemingtonRider]

Gosh Dude!

I don't know if this was fiction or non-fiction, but it gave me a helluva laugh! :clapping: :clapping: :clapping:

You gotta put music to that and make it a song; I forsee a record deal hit!

Sorry for your troubles and the cat, better not let PETA get a holt of this story.....

Well it's winter now......

 

[SnowAviation]

I lived there for a few years, sounds like he had a mild summer. :glare:

 

[beemerdons]

Nice try, but this is a total BS work of fiction. It only got to 121 degrees last summer, not 128; that was the Summer of 2008!

 

[CAJW]

Ahh, brings back memories of 15 years living in Phoenix and Chandler. He didn't mention that you often see newbies driving on I-10 with a hand towel over the steering wheel cause they forgot their foil backed windshield shade. Makes for interesting lane changes to say the least. I can't believe I wore my Aerosticth while riding there, musta fried my brains the first few years there.

 

[Zorlac]

Nice try, but this is a total BS work of fiction. It only got to 121 degrees last summer, not 128; that was the Summer of 2008!

WHEW! whatta relief, I'm not sure I deal with a "burnt hair, fried ***, and baked cat" car air freshener.Don't toy with the dream! :glare:

 

[Steve in Phx]

Funny! And there's more truth to this story than one might think!

Years ago a neighbor's cat crawled into our car through an open window and died in it. In the summer. That was bad.

-Steve in Phx.

 

[DingusKahn]

:lol:

That was funnier than hell. LOL for sure!

Good one...

DK

 

[Big-D]

I moved to Arizona 10 years ago. Lake Havasu City Arizona. Probably the hottest city in the country. We average about 10 degrees warmer than Phoenix in the summer. I love it here. I can do whatever I want anytime I want. Awe, the desert, where an entirely different eco system lives. The heat, it sure does get hot around here in the summer. Once June gets here it won't drop below 100 degrees, even at midnight. Rain? Most of our rain comes in November when our streets can turn into rivers within minutes. The rain comes pouring out of the nearby mountains and heads straight for Lake Havasu, hundreds of square miles of beautiful lake. Where people haul their boats hundreds of miles to enjoy the vast, uncrowded beauty of the desert life. Why in the hell would anyone purposely move to a place that gets so hot. Well, I started coming here as a kid. My family used to look for reasons to pull our 18' ski boat from the Los Angeles area all the way to the beautiful Colorado river. The heat, that was one reason I loved coming here. Where else could I swim in the most beautiful lake I had ever seen and be completely dry within 10 minutes after getting out. I love it here because I never have to deal with huge traffic jams, fog, cold and rain that lasts for month after month with no let up. Kind of like it does in your neck of the woods. Once the summer heat gets here I jump on my FJR around 06:00 and head East towards Flagstaff. The altitude climbs to 7000 feet fairly quickly. The temperature in the summer averages 70-75 degrees. From there I can ride North to the South or North rim of the Grand Canyon. Or perhaps I can ride further East or South towards Phoenix, but turn off towards Payson or maybe ride hwy-191 (Devils Hwy) through the mountains of Eastern Arizona. But regardless of where I decide to ride, there is always some beautiful place to go to get out of the extreme heat. Once the heat subsides, somewhere around the end of September, the temperature drops to a cool 70 degrees and the entire southwest opens up to fantastic riding. I can ride from San Antonio Texas to San Diego and back without the worry of snow or fog or plain ol' miserable cold and rain like you do in Oregon. You see, I can ride 12 months out of the year. I am within a few hours of mountains, snow, beaches, deserts or any number of places to see and things to do any time of the year. We in Arizona probably have some of the nicest roads in the entire country, perfectly maintained. I know you have some really nice riding in Oregon, but we have a much more diverse area to ride. We have the pine forest and beautiful mountain ranges, but we also have desert scenery, huge amounts of history, Route 66 and the Grand Canyon. Riding doesn't get much better than the trip to the North Rim or down hwy-191.

Well Jer, you are right about one thing. Arizona is not for weaklings. To call Arizona home you have to get used to the freedom to do whatever you want, without the fear of having some nut-job trying to tell you how to run your life. You have to get used to things like having the right to own 100 guns if that is what you want to do and carry any one of them concealed too, ride the thousands of miles of trails specifically there for off-road use without having some person trying their hardest to take your rights away from you. I wouldn't trade living in Arizona for any other place. I can pretty much choose where I want to live and I can't think of anywhere else to call home but right here in Arizona. I will admit that our summers are not for *******! But I'll take our heat over your rain, fog and months of dreariness anyday.

I'm really sorry to hear about your cat and your third degree burns caused by falling asleep in our sun. Personally, allowing yourself to get burned that bad was not real smart!

I guess I qualify as one of those sick demented idiots that love Arizona and all it has to offer. But then, with Phoenix now being the 4th largest city in the nation, there are sure a lot of the same wanting to enjoy our sunshine also. I will tell you this. While I heading down the road tomorrow on my FJR enjoying the beautiful sunny day in the expected 65 degree day, I'll be thinking about you with your umbrella and jacket as you warm up your vehicle (don't let it over heat) while you try to decide, should I hang out at the mall or should I stay at home and stay warm while you wait for your months and months and months of cold rain and fog to finally let up so you can enjoy your 4-5 months of decent weather before your winter starts up all over again.

 

[Bustanut joker]

Hell ain't none of those things that bad..

Biggest reason to avoid that state?

beemerdons and his batsage son Scooty G :blink: *shudder*

:jester:

 

[Badcat]

Hell ain't none of those things that bad..
Biggest reason to avoid that state?

beemerdons and his batsage son Scooty G :blink: *shudder*

:jester:

What's really scary Bust, after bakin' my brains for the last 20 years here in this giant hot litter box beemerdons and skooty seem normal..... :dribble: maybe it's time to move??

 

[Bustanut joker]

Oh Hell no!! You just stay yer *** down there. You've been assimilated an think your normal.

Fat chance ya Zombie.. Don't need yer kind infecting the rest of the population. Jus stay down there ya hear?

:lol:

:jester:

 

[beemerdons]

Hell ain't none of those things that bad..
Biggest reason to avoid that state?

beemerdons and his batsage son Scooty G :blink: *shudder*

:jester:

What's really scary Bust, after bakin' my brains for the last 20 years here in this giant hot litter box beemerdons and skooty seem normal..... :dribble: maybe it's time to move??

Big-D: Outstanding write up on beauties and wonders of our living in Arizona, couldn't have said it better. Your valid points about our freedoms and liberties we have here in Arizona are also the most important to me! No Big Brother here in Arizona!

Badcat: Keep your cell phone on this AM, we'll be calling you and your brother Jim. Called SkooterG last night and we're planning a day ride today. You, Jim, TestRider, vectervp1, Fritz and our usual cast of AZ FJR Forum Regulars. Hey, Bustanut joker: Come join us on an FJR ride in Arizona where you can ride 365 days out of the year. Oh wait, you're still snowed in!

Bustanut joker: Badcat hit the nail on the head regarding Arizona. What's not considered normal in other US states fits in perfectly here in Arizona. From Wyatt Earp and Doc Holliday, Tom Horn, Geronimo, and other Crazies: We Love Our Arizona!!

https://www.acepilots.com/wwi/us_luke.html Cannot forget one of our most famous Arizonans, Frank Luke; Luke Air Force Base here in Maricopa County is named for him. Phoenix cowboy who lied about his age to join US Army Air Corps. Dead at 19!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pat_Tillman Of course, Pat Tillman. Pat may've been born in CA, but he is Arizona's Favorite Son!

 

[flying junior]

The author of this piece didn't spend much time in Arizona. He missed the monsoon.

Along about August, there will be tropical storms in the Pacfific and the Sea of Cortez that spill into Arizona. Temperatures remain around 100, but suddenly the humidity gets up around 100 as well. Your evaporative cooler doesn't work at all and your refrigeration air conditioner is overwhelmed. Then the rains come and the streets fill up with water because the storm drain system is designed to handle the runoff from lizards urinating on the sand. Then the highways are closed down when wrinkles in the desert fill up with water and you discover why they are called rivers on the map.

I lived in Casa Grande three years and loved the desert, loved the people, rode year-round, didn't find the heat all that unbearable, but the monsoon took me by surprise.

 

[blueman]

I have lived in Arizona 49 of my 49 years. Started riding bikes when I was 7 and never looked back. All three of my boys ride and race motorcycles. The oldest I think lives in the desert with his YZ250. I have ridden all over the the U.S. Arizona kick *** for riding. Just watch out for the SNOWBIRDS in the winter!!

 

[beemerdons]

I have lived in Arizona 49 of my 49 years. Started riding bikes when I was 7 and never looked back. All three of my boys ride and race motorcycles. The oldest I think lives in the desert with his YZ250. I have ridden all over the the U.S. Arizona kick *** for riding. Just watch out for the SNOWBIRDS in the winter!!

Yep blueman, Arizona's The Best! Good point about the SNOWBIRDS, especially those cocksuckers with the Michigan plates!!!

 

[Bustanut joker]

I have lived in Arizona 49 of my 49 years. Started riding bikes when I was 7 and never looked back. All three of my boys ride and race motorcycles. The oldest I think lives in the desert with his YZ250. I have ridden all over the the U.S. Arizona kick *** for riding. Just watch out for the SNOWBIRDS in the winter!!

Yep blueman, Arizona's The Best! Good point about the SNOWBIRDS, especially those cocksuckers with the Michigan plates!!!

Hey, I'll have you know we don't call it that up here... At least that's not what it said on the ticket I got once

Something about consensual lewd and indecent behavior was all I remember. Is that kinda thing illegal out there?

*******s!

:****:

:jester: