How the government really works

[feejer04]

After 22 years with the government I have to say that the following is real close to the truth.

Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of

a desert. Congress said, "Someone may steal from it at night." So they

created a night watchman position and hired a person at $18,000.00 a

year for the job.

Then Congress said, "How does the watchman do his job without

instruction?"

So they created a planning department and hired two people, one person

to write the instructions for $22, 000.00, and one person to do time

studies for an additional $22,000.00 per year.

Then Congress said, "How will we know the night watchman is doing the

tasks correctly?" So they created a Quality Control department and

hired two people. One to do the studies for $31, 000.00 and one to write

the reports for an additional $31,000.00 per year.

Then Congress said, "How are these people going to get paid?" So they

created the following positions, a time keeper for $35, 000.00 annual

salary, and a payroll officer for an additional $35,000.00, then hired

two people.

Then Congress said, "Who will be accountable for all of these people?"

So they created an administrative section and hired three people, an

Administrative Officer at $155, 000.00 per year, Assistant Administrative

Officer $125,000.00, and a Legal Secretary for an additional

$100,000.00 per year.

Then Congress said, "We have had this operating for one year with a

budget cost of $574, 000.00 and we are $18,000 over budget.

We must cutback overall cost."

So they laid off the night watchman.

 

[OrangevaleFJR]

This reminds me of a true story in New Mexico's State Government. An elected representative of the people called into the question the high cost of cattle guards and asked if there is still a real threat of rustling in these modern days. He recommended that implement a study to see if they should lay off the cattle guards to save the State money!

And the kid yells, "This is a cattle guard you idiot!"

 

[FJRottie]

Five gorillas lived in a zoo enclosure. Above one part of the enclosure, a keeper hung a banana on a string. The keeper put a set of stairs under the banana so the gorillas could climb the stairs and reach it. The keeper watched and waited. One of the gorillas went to the stairs and started to climb towards the banana. As soon as the gorilla touched the stairs, the keeper sprayed all of the gorillas with cold water. When another gorilla made an attempt to reach the banana, the same thing happened: all the gorillas were sprayed with cold water.

After a while when any of the gorillas saw the banana and tried to climb the stairs; the others would try to prevent it from getting the banana - so they too were not hit with the cold water. The keeper was later fired from his job and the cold water spray removed. The banana was also removed, but the stairs stayed.

Much later, one of the original gorillas was sent to another zoo. A new gorilla replaced the original gorilla in the enclosure. The new gorilla naturally went to climb the stairs. To his surprise, all of the other gorillas attacked him. After another attempt and the same attack, he understood that if he tried to climb the stairs, he would be assaulted by all of the others - but did not know why.

Over time the original five gorillas were replaced, one by one, with new gorillas. Each time the newcomer would go to the stairs... and would be attacked by the others. The original gorillas and each of the newcomers would all take part in this punishment with enthusiasm. The new gorillas had no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs, or why they were participating in the beating of the newest ape.

After the last of the original gorillas was replaced, all the gorillas which had been sprayed with cold water had gone. There were now five new gorillas in the enclosure. None of them ever approach the stairs - and none of them (or their new keeper) knew why.

 

[Bounce]

Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Congress said, "Someone may steal from it at night." So they created a night watchman position and hired a person at $18,000.00 a year for the job.

Then they reorganized; consolodating all the support staffing (from many different agencies) into 1, RIF'd all the redundant jobs while retaining the lowest paid (and least skilled) of their staff to meet the budget cut requirements of Congress. Within 2 years, they let a contract at 5/3rds the cost of the original operation when the remaining staff were unable to perform at the previous level due to understaffing, budget cuts, and the inability to OJT because there were no experienced employees left. The winning bidder for the contract hired all the RIF'd employees at a 10% pay increase and better benefits.

Congress was happy because they only looked at the cost of the original budget while ignoring the increases elsewhere. They then used the General Fund to make up the difference while back-filling the General Fund using the SSN "Trust Fund" so they could claim never to have "robbed" the SSN "Trust Fund" when questioned by their constituents.

 

[redgum]

So Orangevale....I'm sure this a question the Government would ask... How much do they pay the kid to gaurd the cattle?

 

[redgum]

Soem examples of Government cost savings. They are “allegedly” true stories but fortunately these practices no longer exists (we can only hope):

Canada:

The Canadian Government had put in place stringent measures to ensure that money was wisely spent in providing plant and equipment for the public service. Cars, for example, were to be the basic model with no luxuries such as cassette players and air conditioning. By the 1980s it was becoming difficult to buy base model cars without these features being offered as standard. So at an additional cost to the tax payer air-conditioning was removed and cassette radios were replaced with plain radios. Believe it or not! Apparently this policy was changed in 90s.

Australia:

The Western Australian Government used to maintain a strict hierarchy of entitlements for office fit out based on the level of the officer. Office size was determined by rank and carpet was only permitted for those of a particular managerial position and above. One day a supervisor was given the office formerly occupied by a more senior manager while he ran a “special project” for a number of months. The property section of the department organized the move in accordance with the relevant guidelines. Workmen were sent to the office to move one wall, reducing the size of the office, and one foot was cut from the carpet so that it did not meet. This turned the carpet into a “rug”. Apparently the guidelines made no provision for rugs so the property section decided that this could be permitted, besides, they’d have to send removalists around to lift up the desk while the carpet was removed. Seems that the treatment of the carpet was to avoid any additional cost in the application of the guidelines!

Australia again…

In the 80s the Government Stores of one State Government sought to save money by managing a tendering process for supply of all general items. The guidelines dictated that the lowest price would largely determine the successful supplier for all departments. Many importers of foreign proved successful in meeting the price criteria with inferior products being dumped from overseas on the Australian market. With minimal quality control and specification you can imagine the result.

Hose fittings under the supply contract cost only a few cents but the washers would fail regularly, so one department paid an employee to remove the washers from all new hose fittings as they came in with a “known brand” at a total cost of labour and materials cost of around $5 a washer – more than twice that of the locally made hose fitting. Even with this information, Government Stores refused to supply the local product because the original; purchase price was too high!

The waterproof jackets simply saw one use before burly Aussie backs broke the seams. While the bandages were not cheap, but not properly sterilized!

Luckily the policy did not last all that long!