How to know you're a hardcore motorcyclist

camera56 · Oct 13, 2006

I just loved this (partial) list from American Motorcyclist Magazine (you'd know what it was if you were an AMA member). It comes from an article called 82 signes you're a serious motorcyclist . . .

Your 401(k) holdings include a Triumph, three Harleys and “a motorcycle to be named later.”

Other people call in to work sick. You call in to work well—from 100 miles away.

You evaluate potential new houses by the size of their garages.

You love the smell of pre-mix in the morning.

Your idea of heaven is Utah’s Five Miles of Hell.

It’s easier to remember your friends by bike, rather than name.

You’ve worn out footpegs.

You’ve named a pet after a motorcycle.

You’ve named a kid after a motorcycle.

The phrase “Iron Butt” isn’t a derogatory term for your mother-in-law.

Your daughter learned to ride a minibike before a bicycle.

You rode a motorcycle to a wedding.

You rode a motorcycle to your own wedding.

You’ve survived a 1,600-mile round trip tour on a 250cc motorcycle (see page 52).

You were happy when a potential buyer for your last bike got cold feet.

You name your favorite turns.

The phrase “monkey butt” doesn’t make you laugh.

Your bookshelf holds at least four of these six books: “Hell’s Angels,” “Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance,” “Jupiter’s Travels,” “The Mouse and the Motorcycle,” “One Man Caravan” and “Investment Biker.”

You’ve seen five of these seven movies: “On Any Sunday,” “The Great Escape,” “Easy Rider,” “The World’s Fastest Indian,” “The Wild One,” “Electra Glide in Blue,” “Dust to Glory.”

Plus “Quadrophenia,” “Knightriders,” “Born to Ride,” “The Lords of Flatbush” and “Roadside Prophets.”

You can’t remember your kid’s birthday, but you know his helmet size.

To you, Christmas means toy runs.

Your “70 mpg” sticker isn’t a lie.

You struggle over which your kid needs more: braces, or a new KTM 85.

To which I'd add . . . how you know you're a hardcore Feejr

You know the definition of PDP . . . it's complete history, dates, terms, and conditions

You are completely fluent in the subtle meaning of those frigging little smiley things

You have deeply held beliefs on the pros and cons of aluminum vs delrin sliders (which you refuse to call anything other than TOGS)

You know the wilbers catalog by heart

Your bathroom is stocked with all of Aerostich's catalogs and supplements from the last three years. When your spouse suggests that you cut it back to just the last three or four, you come completely unglued.

You'll come to the defense of other brands and other bikes just to prove how smart you were to buy your FJR (after considering all the alternatives, and they were excellent, I picked the FJR . . .)

You lay awake at night wondering what's up with the red color Yamaha is putting on the 07

You secretly, or not so secretly, hope that the new Kawasaki shafty touring whatsit is going to be fatally flawed in some way so that you don't have to think about it