I can not tell a lie...or can I?

[bikepoor]

Here's the situation:

I am going to order a new FJR next week. This is my first bike. I have been dating a girl for around 6 years now and living with her the last 14 months. Just the mention of a motorcycle starts a huge fight. She is ready for marraige and kids...not necessarily in that order and at near 40 years old I am finally ready to ride. She's not willing to comprimise...I'm not willing to give up the dream of owning a motorcycle, particularly this one.

Question is; do I tell her now and suffer the consequences till next summer when it's delivered? Or not tell her and just let it appear in the garage one day. I mean, it would still be a huge fight that would last for weeks...but a least I would have the enjoyment of riding while it was happening.

Understand, this not simply going to be an argument...this is going to be a head spinning, spewing pea soup while I clutch the bible kind of thing. Any helpful hints from the people that have been through it?

 

[teerex51]

Bikepoor,

This is not the kind of surprise you can spring on her. You better tell her now -- at least she ought to appreciate being involved at this early stage.

That's just my €0.2 bro.

Stef

 

[FJR-Kevin]

IMHO, order the bike and simply get rid of her before the FJR arrives. Then find someone to share your same desire of motorcycling.

 

[ionbeam]

Ask her where she wants to go. Have a nice ride and end the day someplace that has a nice restaurant and/or nice room. Everyone gets something they enjoy.

I am going to order a new FJR next week. This is my first bike

:blink: :wacko: :erm: :megashock:
Hopefully you mean your first NEW bike. Feejer is a lot of good things but it is not a good first bike. In fact, it is a really, really bad FIRST bike.

Alan

 

[dcarver]

Dude,

My ex stated that I loved my bikes more than I loved her. DUH! She never did understand / accept... said (really) if I went racing one more time.. I did, she did, now we are both happy.

My .02? Tell her now, see if she can understand / accept / enjoy. If not, you've got some big decisions to make.. as in leave her or never truly enjoy riding.

Good Luck bro.

 

[Rogue]

My .02? Tell her now, see if she can understand / accept / enjoy. If not, you've got some big decisions to make.. as in leave her or never truly enjoy riding.
Good Luck bro.

+1

 

[Warpdrv]

She's a woman.... If she layed it out like that right from the get go... Give her the Get gone... I have been with many woman, and everytime they try to deny you of something you passionately want to do.... They are on a Control Freak mission... I promise you that this will not be the first thing she will tell you what you can and can't do...

Order the Bike, and send her on her way... There are tons of women out there...

Seriously, What will the addition of adding a Bike do to the relationship...

There are plenty of women out there that will drop their pants just to be able to go riding on a fine machine... like the FJR !!!

Im 38 and I got 3-4 girls callin me to go riding on a regular basis... and I have a 14 year old that I raised all by myself...

Just remember, A very close friend of mine, died of a massive Heart Attack, at 51...

Live life to its fullest...

Warp

 

[nusman68]

Get it out in the open now. If she cannot accept it, she'll make you miserable/put the guilt trip on you every time you ride. Then you'll resent her for that; it will undermine the relationship. Marriage is all about compromise; if she cannot support you in realizing your dream & ambition of owning & riding a motorcycle, then she is not the one for you. Look at this way...this is just one issue. How will she react to other, more complicated issues in the relationship (kids/money/common goals) if she cannot compromise on this one? Call her on it. Find out what the real problem is.

Good luck

 

[wpbfjr]

dude, you are sooooo missing the truth here:

she's being upfront and telling you your choice : her, or the bike...

you're hoping to ram your choice down her throat... in case you've forgot, women only take down their throats what they WANT, not what's forced...

buy her a house now, and avoid the heart ache later...

 

[BrunDog]

I would do this:

1. Work it out with the dealer so your deposit is refundable.

2. Do not tell her you bought the bike.

3. Watch SpeedTV Motosport races, American Chopper, and any other show about bikes you can find. Read bike magazines. Take one or more MSF courses. Have friends who own their own bikes come over frequently. Spend long hours on bike related websites like this one. Stare at and point out bikes on the road and the street. Go to local bike shows and talk about your dream of going to Sturgis. Eat, drink, and **** stuff about bikes. And all the while, try to pull her in. "Hey honey, check this out..." She will be wholly disinterested and often mad that you bring it up all the time.

4. Since she is undboutedbly hesitant due to the safety concerns, mitigate those to the best of your ability. Learn about MC safety and give her meaninful statistics on occassion. When you see a squid riding down the street sans helmet, say, "What a *******... I can't believe he is riding without a helmet and gear".

5. Go on a couple of short bike trips with friends. Rent the bike and come home alive. This will go some distance to proving you are responsible. Carry on when you get home how much fun it was, then offer her to do something she likes (either with or without you).

6. After a while, increase your commentary about you getting one. She will stay true to form and say no no no.

7. Eventually she will crack. All redwoods will fall with enough chipping away of their trunks. She will finally realize that you are going to resent her if she holds you back from doing the things you want to do in your life. Likewise, she may realize that in return you may not be willing to extend her her individual desires. Promise (and mean it and stay true to it) that you will do everything in the safest manner you can.

8. If you time everything correctly, you will be able to agree to disagree but agree to get the bike anyway. You can then go to your dealer and "buy" your new bike as if it were sitting there.

9. If you lose the battle, get your money back and try again for next year's PDP.

Now, do not ask me how I know this should work. It just seems like a good idea.

-BD

 

[moby one]

Ditch the *****, the Feej will troll up some new tang.

 

[06FJRAEPILOT]

Fourteen grand! Cheap price to pay for a man's freedom.... Tell her now. My bet is she will be there when it's delivered. Just a matter of how much "chin music" you can stand.

Heck, I'd better tell my lady about the one I ordered!

Good luck!

 

[Getsum]

It’s always going to be easier to beg for forgiveness, than it is to ask for permission.

Words to live by.

 

[06FJRAEPILOT]

dude, you are sooooo missing the truth here:
she's being upfront and telling you your choice :  her, or the bike...

you're hoping to ram your choice down her throat...  in case you've forgot, women only take down their throats what they WANT,  not what's forced...

buy her a house now, and avoid the heart ache later...

You will be out a house! Still won't have a bike...... And the "chin Music" goes on!

 

[ahamlin01]

Understand, this not simply going to be an argument...this is going to be a head spinning, spewing pea soup while I clutch the bible kind of thing. Any helpful hints from the people that have been through it?

If you are nearing 40 and she wants a house and kids and you want a bike, based on this statement you made, you better either choose one or the other. Order the bike and get out of that relationship - my guess is after 6 years of dating, if a motorcycle is going to cause that much trouble, you cannot even imagine what you will go through if you have a house and kids with her. You'll be divorced, without a house, without kids and without the bike. Not worth it. I agree with the rest - too many woman out there who love to ride; if riding is in you, then you won't be able to deny it forever. Life IS way too short - enjoy it without arguments and without hanging around people who like to argue.

 

[Bike Effects]

Tell her now. If you are going to have no freedom, now is a better time to deal with it.

 

[06FJRAEPILOT]

Yep, buy her a house...... She'll get the house in the divorce!

Maybe a motorcycle too!!

 

[OhioFJR1300]

Well this just proves the old saying that women get into a relationship with a man thinking that she will "change" him and men get into a relationship with a woman thinking that she will never change. In the end both statements are wrong!!

My advise...... tell her now, if in fact , you are serious about the bike. It is a part of who you are and she will have to get over it, or if you end up not getting it because of her, you will always resent that fact and it will destroy the relationship in the end.

good luck.

Rick M

 

[06FJRAEPILOT]

Well this just proves the old saying that women get into a relationship with a man thinking that she will "change" him and men get into a relationship with a woman thinking that she will never change. In the end both statements are wrong!! My advise...... tell her now, if in fact , you are serious about the bike. It is a part of who you are and she will have to get over it, or if you end up not getting it because of her, you will always resent that fact and it will destroy the relationship in the end.

good luck.

Rick M

Right on!