I'm old, I do what I want........or do I have a responsibility as a role model

[Daniel78362]

Earlier this afternoon I was heading out on a bicycle ride, my route took me through a park in my neighborhood. Well I passed this this woman and her son (about 5 years) who was struggling on a small bicycle with TRAINING WHEELS. Instantly I went back those 48 years to when I was 5 and learned to ride a bicycle.......alot of scraped knees....good times. But what struck me was that the little man was not wearing a helmet. I told the little man "good job, keep up the good work" and gave him a thumbs up. I also approached the mom and told her he's doing a great but that at this learning stage he really needs to be wearing a helmet, said it in a very polite tone and manner. She gave that me that semi guilty (polite) I know, I know. As I was riding off she asked me "where's your helmet". Of course this caught me surprise so I answered her in truth...........I'm old, I do what I want. Texas does have a child bicycle helmet law not enforced by local PD

I must concede that the lady was right, I should have been wearing a bicyle helmet. I am one of the few Cyclist in this area, I have a great, great deal of experience and skill on a bicycle (moto too) and am at home on 2 wheels. I wear my moto helmet and jacket (with armor) 99.3% of the time but seldom wear a bicycle helmet.

This brings me to my question: at what point does an individual have the responsibility to act as a role model when ingaged in personal activities or even public, ie; sports, politics, celebrity. Now to be honest I feel that it's parents job to be their childs role model, not a strangers.

My apologies to the Admins if this crosses that "politics" line, just looking for some thoughts on the matter, serious or other wise

To all, Be Good, Be Safe

Daniel

 

[bluesdog]

Training wheels suck.

They actually teach how to ride a bike the WRONG way.

If a child can balance on one foot, and is sufficiently coordinated to touch his/her nose alternately with each hand while doing so, then the same child can learn to ride a bicycle, without training wheels, in one lesson.

The teacher merely has to assist by holding on the bike at the back of the seat, until the new rider gains control. Usually this happens within a few hundred yards.

Training wheels turn a two-wheeled vehicle into an ungainly four-wheeler, and prevent correct counter-steering -- which is how a two-wheel vehicle steers.

And.... You are always a role model, for good or ill, whether you like it or not.

 

[Redfish Hunter]

A very cowardly and vague answer would be: It depends.

My Dad used to tell me when I was running the boat that I had a responsibility to handle my boat better and more responsibly than the "amateurs" that surrounded us. He maintained that with a shrimp boat and as a commercial fisherman I was honor bound to be better, smoother, and more conscientious than the guys running the speed boats, the ski boats, the boats that were meant for play. He told me basically the same thing about riding his GoldWing when I was a teenager. He reminded me many times that the GoldWing was a Gentleman's Motorcycle and not a crotch rocket. I had a responsibility to operate it like a gentleman.

I try not to act like an ***** in front of my son, or anyone else's children. I attempt to moderate my language in front of children and with folks I might offend. I try to do the best I can with everything. I think we all owe something to society. I don't know where that ends, I guess it is different for all of us.

I must say though, telling someone else to put a helmet on their child might not have been your business. Add that to the fact that you were not wearing one... You came off sounding like a hypocrite.

 

[Daniel78362]

A very cowardly and vague answer would be: It depends.
My Dad used to tell me when I was running the boat that I had a responsibility to handle my boat better and more responsibly than the "amateurs" that surrounded us. He maintained that with a shrimp boat and as a commercial fisherman I was honor bound to be better, smoother, and more conscientious than the guys running the speed boats, the ski boats, the boats that were meant for play. He told me basically the same thing about riding his GoldWing when I was a teenager. He reminded me many times that the GoldWing was a Gentleman's Motorcycle and not a crotch rocket. I had a responsibility to operate it like a gentleman.

I try not to act like an ***** in front of my son, or anyone else's children. I attempt to moderate my language in front of children and with folks I might offend. I try to do the best I can with everything. I think we all owe something to society. I don't know where that ends, I guess it is different for all of us.

I must say though, telling someone else to put a helmet on their child might not have been your business. Add that to the fact that you were not wearing one... You came off sounding like a hypocrite.

Hypocrite???? excellent point Redfish, excellent. I thought of that as I approached her, thought its not my f-ing place, it's not my child, but the EMT in me thought do as I say, not as I do.

 

[Redfish Hunter]

Please understand, I do not think of you as a hypocrite. I say that it probably appeared to be so.

We have all seen instances where our "parenting urges" were tested by watching a clueless or uncaring person deal with their child. I have often wanted to apply a belt to the backside of the parent and the child. That is of course completely different from the urge to spank an attractive but naughty woman...

Back on topic, I applaud you for caring about others and their children. If it is on your mind enough to post here, you obviously have a desire to "do the right thing". It is up to you to determine what is "right".

I can still hear Mom telling me, "Do as I say, not as I do." Moms can get away with things like that. I never had the courage to question Dad like that.

 

[HotRodZilla]

I think having a polite conversation with that mom gives you a little leeway. You didn't demand, you just suggested.

The difference is, you are an adult and can make your own ddecisions. Children need guidance. As a parent, I don't want my kids to do some of the things I have done.

Is it perfect? No, but when people are involved, it never is. I wouldn't stress it. I think you did fine!!

 

[mikebike]

Still scratching my head as to why you ride without a helmet on a bicycle. Especially as an EMT-- and do not talk to me about skill on a bike (i am sure you are capable)

I speak as one who has well north of 100,000 of bicycle experience. SMH

--------------

as to the lady and her child... you must have been nice to her as you got a nice (happy) response

 

[BkerChuck]

"Do as I say, not as I do." Wow! Those words cause me serious negative flashbacks to my childhood! I heard that more times than I care to remember from my dad. I find even as an adult, that entire phrase reeks of hypocrisy. I decided as a much younger man that I would never use that phrase because of the feelings it stirred in me and I'm proud to say I've stuck with that decision throuhout the youth of my often troublesome stepson.

I think your decision to approach the mother was well intended and may someday save her great grief if anything happens to her child. As for being a role model, I'm sure you take great pride in being an EMT and love to have children approach you when in uniform. That said, isn't your choice of riding gear on 2 wheels a uniform of sorts as well? Perhaps the best way to make a good impression on that child is to be able to point at your own gear.

Whether we like it or not, we are all role models to someone.

 

[Bounce]

I'm staying out of it because I spent some time in a small town where others took it upon themselves to tell my Mom how should raise us. Imagine getting a call at work telling you that your son was walking down the road, kicking cans with his new shoes.

 

[mikep1300]

I ride bikes and motos, always were a helmet. I take it you don't have kids or a family? Ever think that your functioning brain just might be appreciated by others.

No guarantee the brain bucket will prevent injury or death, but your chances of walking away are much better if you do.

Just saying....I saw an experienced, helmetless bicycle rider doing a quick test ride, fell going <5mph, cracked his skull on a curb, spent months in rehab. He was "lucky" only to lose his sense of taste after he healed up.

 

[nankoweap]

While I'm sure your experience has kept you safe in some situations, no amount of experience will keep you safe in all situations. Case in point, Larry "Mr. Safety" Grodsky's death back in 2006 when he hit a deer in the Big Bend region of Texas. We just never know when or how or where or even why. So when it comes to safety, what's good for a 5 year old, is good for a 55 year old. Still, it may not be enough.

I don't recall ever being compelled to tell another parent anything like that, but I don't condemn you for it provided it was done out of compassion and concern for the child rather than a way to chastise the mother because of some "my **** don't stink" attitude.

One of the best things we can do is promote awareness. This is done by doing for ourselves what we expect others to do for themselves. Taking it a step or two further might be creating an awareness campaign in your neighborhood, town, state or nationwide. Or perhaps a fundraiser to raise both awareness and money for those who may not be able to afford a helmet for their child.

 

[wheatonFJR]

I wear my mcy helmet 100% of the time. I wear a bicycle helmet 0% of the time. My choice.

I say that if yer concerned enough about the kid's brain to mention the bicycle helmet, I would think that in your mind, your brain is susceptible to damage as well.

As far as bicycle helmets, I grew up in an unincorporated area without much parental supervision. I walked to a ma and pa store 3/4mile away by myself when I was three to get some candy, I just didn't realize you had to pay for it. I converted an old bike to a "Stingray style bike" and learned to ride wheelies on it...got pretty good...riding wheelies all the way down the block without a bike helmet. Got stuck up to my thighs in a swamp mud pit out in the middle of nowhere with just my 5th grade buddy to try to help me out...I think people should just let kids be kids, but if the data and your personal experience tell you that a bike helmet is necessary, then I would think you would put one on, too.

Especially if you're going to mention it to someone you don't know.

 

[TomInPA]

Risk management decisions such as wearing a bike helmet, mean having the experience and maturity to evaluate the risks and make a decision. Children are inherently assumed not to have that experience and so we make the decision for them for their safety. Your risk factors are quite different from a beginning bicyclist in that you can recognize and avoid hazards. It may seem like a double standard, but it's really a privilege that comes with age. You get to make your own decisions and live with the consequences.

 

[gixxerjasen]

I would say you become a role model when you put yourself in a position to be one. You weren't a role model until you spoke to mom and kid. At that point you should have been setting the example. If you can't set the example, then you shouldn't be putting yourself in role model position. At least that's how I see it and how I'd handle it.