In Search Of A Legendary Couple.....

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SwollenRaccoon

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Location
Rochester, MN
The stupid, stinking, rotten winter of 2013/2014 has finally left Minnesota and Wisconsin. It was the last weekend of May, and I'd only been out on two rides. No more than three weeks earlier, we had snow flurries here, and in another three weeks, the days start getting shorter. Gee cripes, I needed to get out on the bike, and I really didn't need much of a mission, but being not too bright, and easily distracted by shiny objects, I came up with a mission nonetheless.

(As a warning to those of us in southeastern Minnesota, I noticed that highway 60 will be closed near Dumfries starting today. It appears that they are replacing the bridge just east of Dumfries. No idea how long that will take.)

I hate stopping to take pictures, but forced myself to do so anyway. They are admittedly boring, since we don't have the fabulous scenery that most of you live near, but it's all we have within a few minutes of our dreary daily grind. Crossed the Mississippi River at Wabasha, heading east into Wisconsin. The trees are about half-leafed out, with some only just budding. The green sure beats the whites and grays of the last seven months, though.

Along County F, east of Nelson.

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The Buffalo River, on the south end of County F.

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Took County E east, and was greeted by the sight of the metropolis of Cream, Wisconsin. The downtown rejuvination project, and work to control the urban sprawl seem to be having little effect on this city.

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Took Higway 88 south, back toward the river and Fountain City. I've ridden past this old chimney for over 20 tears, but never took a picture. It's all that's left of an old farmhouse, and now sits in the middle of a cow pasture. Often, there are cows grazing right around it. It looks like a good place to camp for the night, start a nice fire in the fireplace, sip on Crown Royal Black, and talk about all the great rides you've had, and hope to have. Well, you'd have to ignore the smell of rotting cow dung all around you, but then everything comes with a price.

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Went to Fountain City, then north on Highway 95, then up County G (one of my all-time favorite short roads). If I had a super-motard, or maybe an old RD400, Lower Eagle Valley Road would be a hoot. Very tight, unmarked corners, often with gravel, and many of them blind. Can be frightening on the FJR......best taken at a leisurely, scenery-absorbing pace.

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Along Highway 88, in the bustling city of Praag, there is a newly renovated bar/restaurant call Bucknuckles. As you approach on 88, you'll first see this old Autocar county truck, that has seen better days.

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Now, I'm not usually one for "pre-manufacured atmosphere" such as that found in a TGI Friday's, or some such chain food trough, but this place has some interesting decor. I didn't get to meet the owner, but the part-time, somewhat trashy, middle-aged bartender (didn't get her name), said that the owner is in construction, and has gone around collecting things that he likes. He does have some neat stuff, like.....

Windmill vane, mounted to the ceiling.

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Door to the men's room. An old gas pump face, with the gas pump handle used as the door handle.

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Cool table, made from a wood stove and what appears to be about a 5 foot saw blade.

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An albino buck (actually a replica of one that hung around that area for several years).

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The ceiling is covered with old cast iron tractor seats. Some of them are from Europe, and most of them are from long-gone manufacturer's. Pretty cool.

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I ordered a buffalo burger, with pepper jack cheese and french fries, and a refreshing local brew. Not nearly as good as Sprecher's root beer, but it served its' purpose.

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My camera batteries pooped the bed right after I took that picture, so I was unable to produce a photo of the burger. Not a bad burger, and I'd probably get it again, but nothing spectacular. They have a couple of other interesting burgers that I may try in the future.....I recall Boar and Elk, and there may have been a couple others. Next time. Luckily, I had taken the following pictures earlier, before the batteries failed me.

I had been at this cemetery a couple of years ago, and sat in the shade on a small bench, enjoying a bottle of water. It's next to the Lyster church, about 5 or 6 miles east of Nelson, at the intersection of Counties D and F, a mile or two south of Urne. If you're from this area, you've ridden through there many times. I like old cemeteries, and got up from the bench. The first stone I saw shocked me. I had always thought that this couple was an old Norwegian legend, a hapless, bumbling pair of mental pygmies whom somehow were attracted to each other through some cruel, hilarious long-forgotten curse. Their escapades are legendary, having been passed down through the generations, causing those hearing of these episodes to shoot beer out of their noses and snorting like a buck during rut. Their friends, such as Lars and Sven, are just as funny and clueless, and are an integral part of the old Norse lore. Perhaps it's a north-central United States thing, so if those of you from different backgrounds or geographies are unfamiliar with this couple, I surely understand. My wife is of Scandinavian descent, but thankfully was born with more common sense than this couple, with the exception that she said "yes" when I asked her to marry me, surely a decision she regrets to this day, some 32 years later. So, sorry for the boring nature of this report. And now, without further delay, is photographic evidence that they truly did exist, as a married couple, many, many moons ago. I present to you.......

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Having been raised in the upper midwest, I can tell you endless tales of Ole and Lena's problems over the years. OK, for those of you unfamiliar, here's just a taste......

Ole got a new scope for his deer rifle. He calls up Sven, and invites him over to the farm. Sven and Ole go out toward the woods, a few hundred yards from the farmhouse. Ole says, "Here, Sven, take a look through that scope. See what you think". Sven says, "Hey, it's real nice, Ole. I can see your house really well from here. Wait a minute, I see Lena upstairs in the bedroom". Ole says, "What's she doing, putting away laundry?" "No", says Sven. "Oh-oh, something's wrong, Ole. I see Lars up there, too". "What the hell's going on?" says Ole. Lars says, "I think they're about to make love". Ole is obviously very pissed off. He says, "Here, Sven. I want you to take one of these bullets, and shoot Lars right in the weiner. Then I want you to take this other bullet, and shoot Lena right in the head". Sven takes another look through the scope, and hands Ole one bullet back, saying "Here, Ole, I think I can save you a bullet".

That's just one of many of Ole and Lena's stories. Apparently, they had many funny, misfortunate adventures together. You may know others, such as when Ole and Sven came out of the bar, drunk, and saw a dog on the sidewalk, licking himself. You know how that one ends, and there are many more. It was an unexpected pleasure, finally seeing proof that they actually existed. Thank you for letting me share my discovery with you.

 
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Having been raised in the upper midwest, I can tell you endless tales of Ole and Lena's problems over the years. OK, for those of you unfamiliar, here's just a taste......

Ole got a new scope for his deer rifle. He calls up Sven, and invites him over to the farm. Sven and Ole go out toward the woods, a few hundred yards from the farmhouse. Ole says, "Here, Sven, take a look through that scope. See what you think". Sven says, "Hey, it's real nice, Ole. I can see your house really well from here. Wait a minute, I see Lena upstairs in the bedroom". Ole says, "What's she doing, putting away laundry?" "No", says Sven. "Oh-oh, something's wrong, Ole. I see Lars up there, too". "What the hell's going on?" says Ole. Lars says, "I think they're about to make love". Ole is obviously very pissed off. He says, "Here, Sven. I want you to take one of these bullets, and shoot Lars right in the weiner. Then I want you to take this other bullet, and shoot Lena right in the head". Sven takes another look through the scope, and hands Ole one bullet back, saying "Here, Ole, I think I can save you a bullet".

That's just one of many of Ole and Lena's stories. Apparently, they had many funny, misfortunate adventures together. You may know others, such as when Ole and Sven came out of the bar, drunk, and saw a dog on the sidewalk, licking himself. You know how that one ends, and there are many more. It was an unexpected pleasure, finally seeing proof that they actually existed. Thank you for letting me share my discovery with you.
That's amazing, what a find! Grew up with Ole and Lena jokes and now I know where they are resting. I always knew Lena would out live Ole, thanks.

 
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Good Stuff. I enjoyed it.

Here in South Louisiana we have our Boudreau and Thibodaux jokes. Many of them are just like the Ole and Lena stories except for the names. And the accent. Our Cajun French accent is waaay different.

 
This was real cool. Your lunch place is exactly the kind of joint I seek out on a bike ride.

Everyone has lots of adventure in their own back yard. All it takes is time and want ....

 
Those county roads is where I'd want to ride, if'n I was in that neck o' the woods. Nice RR, 'coon. Looks nice.

PS - My Mom's family is of the Svenke's (and Norge) that never made it west from Massachusetts to the Midwest hinterlands.

But they made a lot'a damn good watches at the Waltham factory.

 
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