beemerdons
Certifiable Old Fart
This chick looked at my beer belly last night and sarcastically said, Is that Corona or Bud? I said, There's a tap underneath; taste it and find out.
I was talking to a girl in the bar last night. She said, If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right. I said, If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you.
I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her ****s. Really she said, Go on then...try. After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, Come on, what day was I born? I said, Yesterday.
I got caught taking a pee in the local swimming pool today. The lifeguard yelled at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
I went to the Murphy's pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing on a table. I said, Nice legs. The girl giggled and said with a smile, Do you really think so? I said, Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now.
I was talking to a girl in the bar last night. She said, If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right. I said, If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you.
I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her ****s. Really she said, Go on then...try. After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, Come on, what day was I born? I said, Yesterday.
I got caught taking a pee in the local swimming pool today. The lifeguard yelled at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
I went to the Murphy's pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing on a table. I said, Nice legs. The girl giggled and said with a smile, Do you really think so? I said, Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now.
