Goodman4
Pressing on
I haven't gotten around to posting the pics from my wife's bday trip at the end of March because of the emotion around the trip and the death of Tammy's dad that turned us and the trip upside down. I don't really know the best way to tell the story, or IF the story is relevant to anyone. But she took some nice road pics and my trip reports are cathartic to me, so here goes...
Tammy's father has been in bad health for several years with COPD, heart, and other complications. Every time we plan a trip it seems he has a spell and ends up in the hospital and they get him going ok again and we still are able to go, but it complicates the trip. My parents have both been gone for several years and I'm very close to her folks. Always have been, so they aren't typical in-laws. It's never been like that. It's just complicated when family is sick and you don't know when to help and when to press through with life.
Tammy was turning 50 at the end of March and she didn't want a party or any attention around here, so she decided she wanted to take a trip and get out of town instead. We love NC but haven't spent much time in Asheville, so we thought we'd take a long weekend (5 days total) to ride the roads there and take part of a day to see the Biltmore on her birthday for something different. I got it all planned out pretty well and booked a nice little place in Asheville near the parkway as a home base for three days.
The week before the trip, her dad had to go to the hospital again. Tam's the oldest of the kids so she usually gets pretty involved and has to take a firm hand with the doctors and even has to push her dad with his care, even though we're the only ones out of state. She was able to take a couple days off and help out but he wasn't doing well and we realized as the weekend approached that the trip wasn't going to happen. I couldn't cancel the booking that late so I lost the 50% deposit which in hindsight isn't a big deal but at the time bothered us more than anything. I'm kind of pig-headed and stupid at times.
They had to intubate him which they don't like to do in his condition but his oxygen and CO2 were just not manageable. I was able to join them in IL on Friday night and we spent that evening and Saturday with him. They were happy to have got him off the vent on Friday and he was doing quite a bit better on Saturday. I started wondering if I should still get her out of town on her birthday like she had wanted.
I looked to see what I could book last minute that looked decent in the Robbinsville area that she might like and would be different. I threw out a crazy idea and asked her if she wanted to go fly fishing. There was a guide that picked people up right out of Dillsboro and fished on the Tuckasegee river. She said that sounded interesting so I booked it and we took off on the Wing for the Dillsboro Inn on her birthday. Should we stay? Or should I get her mind off things for her birthday?
Here's the route:
We rode slab to Cleveland then went by the Ocoee on 64 and then up 68. I hadn't ridden 64 since our first long distance trip on the VTX back in 2007 and it seemed really twisty back then but was quite boring this time. Several things reminded me this trip how we've changed.
Site of the Atlanta Olympics rafting events:
The Cherohala Skyway used to be our absolute favorite road on the VTX but on the FJR and Wing its pretty mild now. I still like it as well as the town of Tellico Plains.
The Cherohala
Too early in the year for much scenery but there was snow and ice in the shade
The Dillsboro Inn was quirky but really nice and friendly. I'd recommend it, especially for the off-season price.
Tuckasegee River right by the Inn:
I told the guide to just keep Tammy happy and not worry much about me. He did his job. She caught the slam (Rainbow, brown, and brook) as well as two of them being pretty nice in the 3lb range. I think she had over 10 total.
I only caught three little ones but was plenty happy watching her have a great time until I fell in the water. I think she had a good time watching me fall in the water, too.
We got back to the Inn and I let her read and relax while I drove down 28 into SC.
Here's the overlook from what I think was 107 headed back N. Wheatie wants us to believe SC is all flat so we'll stay off his roads, but you can see that there are actually some nice mountain roads that overlook the valley to the east.
Next day we headed home via 28 and the dragon. Here's 28:
And here's some dragon road pics. She snapped pics of the road from the bike the whole time. I remember back in 2007 when she held on for dear life and tried to steer me around the corners and was stressed the whole time. Now she just snaps pics and looks at scenery and doesn't think twice unless I take a bad angle and scrape. This whole road this time was smooth as butter. Very few bikes and cars. No police. Only a few bicycles. Great ride.
She even snapped pics of the photographers as we passed.
And I did have to buy this one for the office
It ended up a good trip and I was pretty glad I was able to help her have some fun on her birthday even though we felt a little guilty we left town when her dad was not well. The day we got back her dad started getting really frustrated and started talking about giving up. She worked one day and then headed up to see him. I'm so thankful she got back and was able to spend an entire night in the room with him. They had a rough night but he had moments of clarity where they talked a lot and he started talking about going to heaven instead of keeping up the fight. The docs started discussing hospice so we knew we were getting to the end.
I came on up and while I was in IL he had a "major cardiac event" and though they were able to revive him, they didn't think they should have as they felt he had brain damage and major trauma from the event. We hadn't been able to talk Tammy's mom into a DNR previously, so they had no choice. All the kids and in-laws came up that night and met in the room. I thought it would be traumatic for everyone to have to decide to take him off the vent and sit with him as we watched him die, but it was one of those points of closure that I have not experienced with my parents or other family members. It was very hard, but it was "real".
I am very thankful to God that he didn't die while we were on that trip for selfish reasons for me and Tam because I think we'd always associate his death with the motorcycle trip. Now it still is kind of associated with that and with her birthday, but not all in a bad way. At least part of me feels that pushing ahead and making the best of things is important even when you are in the storm. Family comes first and you can't let your plans and needs outweigh the needs of others, but you've got to try to find balance and make the most of every opportunity you get. There's no way to find a perfect balance, but it's healthy to try.
Tammy's father has been in bad health for several years with COPD, heart, and other complications. Every time we plan a trip it seems he has a spell and ends up in the hospital and they get him going ok again and we still are able to go, but it complicates the trip. My parents have both been gone for several years and I'm very close to her folks. Always have been, so they aren't typical in-laws. It's never been like that. It's just complicated when family is sick and you don't know when to help and when to press through with life.
Tammy was turning 50 at the end of March and she didn't want a party or any attention around here, so she decided she wanted to take a trip and get out of town instead. We love NC but haven't spent much time in Asheville, so we thought we'd take a long weekend (5 days total) to ride the roads there and take part of a day to see the Biltmore on her birthday for something different. I got it all planned out pretty well and booked a nice little place in Asheville near the parkway as a home base for three days.
The week before the trip, her dad had to go to the hospital again. Tam's the oldest of the kids so she usually gets pretty involved and has to take a firm hand with the doctors and even has to push her dad with his care, even though we're the only ones out of state. She was able to take a couple days off and help out but he wasn't doing well and we realized as the weekend approached that the trip wasn't going to happen. I couldn't cancel the booking that late so I lost the 50% deposit which in hindsight isn't a big deal but at the time bothered us more than anything. I'm kind of pig-headed and stupid at times.
They had to intubate him which they don't like to do in his condition but his oxygen and CO2 were just not manageable. I was able to join them in IL on Friday night and we spent that evening and Saturday with him. They were happy to have got him off the vent on Friday and he was doing quite a bit better on Saturday. I started wondering if I should still get her out of town on her birthday like she had wanted.
I looked to see what I could book last minute that looked decent in the Robbinsville area that she might like and would be different. I threw out a crazy idea and asked her if she wanted to go fly fishing. There was a guide that picked people up right out of Dillsboro and fished on the Tuckasegee river. She said that sounded interesting so I booked it and we took off on the Wing for the Dillsboro Inn on her birthday. Should we stay? Or should I get her mind off things for her birthday?
Here's the route:
We rode slab to Cleveland then went by the Ocoee on 64 and then up 68. I hadn't ridden 64 since our first long distance trip on the VTX back in 2007 and it seemed really twisty back then but was quite boring this time. Several things reminded me this trip how we've changed.
Site of the Atlanta Olympics rafting events:
The Cherohala Skyway used to be our absolute favorite road on the VTX but on the FJR and Wing its pretty mild now. I still like it as well as the town of Tellico Plains.
The Cherohala
Too early in the year for much scenery but there was snow and ice in the shade
The Dillsboro Inn was quirky but really nice and friendly. I'd recommend it, especially for the off-season price.
Tuckasegee River right by the Inn:
I told the guide to just keep Tammy happy and not worry much about me. He did his job. She caught the slam (Rainbow, brown, and brook) as well as two of them being pretty nice in the 3lb range. I think she had over 10 total.
I only caught three little ones but was plenty happy watching her have a great time until I fell in the water. I think she had a good time watching me fall in the water, too.
We got back to the Inn and I let her read and relax while I drove down 28 into SC.
Here's the overlook from what I think was 107 headed back N. Wheatie wants us to believe SC is all flat so we'll stay off his roads, but you can see that there are actually some nice mountain roads that overlook the valley to the east.
Next day we headed home via 28 and the dragon. Here's 28:
And here's some dragon road pics. She snapped pics of the road from the bike the whole time. I remember back in 2007 when she held on for dear life and tried to steer me around the corners and was stressed the whole time. Now she just snaps pics and looks at scenery and doesn't think twice unless I take a bad angle and scrape. This whole road this time was smooth as butter. Very few bikes and cars. No police. Only a few bicycles. Great ride.
She even snapped pics of the photographers as we passed.
And I did have to buy this one for the office
It ended up a good trip and I was pretty glad I was able to help her have some fun on her birthday even though we felt a little guilty we left town when her dad was not well. The day we got back her dad started getting really frustrated and started talking about giving up. She worked one day and then headed up to see him. I'm so thankful she got back and was able to spend an entire night in the room with him. They had a rough night but he had moments of clarity where they talked a lot and he started talking about going to heaven instead of keeping up the fight. The docs started discussing hospice so we knew we were getting to the end.
I came on up and while I was in IL he had a "major cardiac event" and though they were able to revive him, they didn't think they should have as they felt he had brain damage and major trauma from the event. We hadn't been able to talk Tammy's mom into a DNR previously, so they had no choice. All the kids and in-laws came up that night and met in the room. I thought it would be traumatic for everyone to have to decide to take him off the vent and sit with him as we watched him die, but it was one of those points of closure that I have not experienced with my parents or other family members. It was very hard, but it was "real".
I am very thankful to God that he didn't die while we were on that trip for selfish reasons for me and Tam because I think we'd always associate his death with the motorcycle trip. Now it still is kind of associated with that and with her birthday, but not all in a bad way. At least part of me feels that pushing ahead and making the best of things is important even when you are in the storm. Family comes first and you can't let your plans and needs outweigh the needs of others, but you've got to try to find balance and make the most of every opportunity you get. There's no way to find a perfect balance, but it's healthy to try.
