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bramfrank

BramFrank
Joined
Apr 28, 2006
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[SIZE=18pt]I am almost 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year-olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.[/SIZE]

For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. "My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry!" We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some ******* that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while..

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical S-of-a-B....

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.

How about recruiting women over 50 ....with PMS !!! You think men have attitudes? Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!!

If nothing else, put them on border patrol....we will have it secured the first night.

Share this with your senior friends. It's purposely in big type so they can read it.

 
Alright, alright: I'll go, you don't have to push! But I want my M-14 back from 1968, not M-16 I had to start carrying in '69!

I also want my old 5/4 ton back, I left a good bottle of Scotch under the seat in 1974. Thank God, Fort Ord D-2-1 is closed!!

 
OK ,,I'll sign up ,,,

but I ain't ( can't ) do any 20 foot wall .. ( too much pasta)

Push-ups maybe 5 or 10 ,,, ( but then I'm going to have to take a beer break)

And if the temp. is over 72 degrees I want AC....

I'll take the M16 ,,, I like the M1 Garand & the M14 ,,,, but the M16 is lighter if I've got to carry it around..

 
Oh what the heck, I've been looking for someone I can fight against (I'm tired of losing to the wife {I MEAN BETTER HALF!!} I think she heard that so I'm good for awhile.

M-1 Garand was my bunk mate. I was thinking of the new Mini Gun (oh what I could do the bad guys with that) I would need a wheel borrow for the ammo. I'm getting excited just thinking about the sound.

 
I'll go even though I'm not quite 40 yet. Give me an FN Scar 17, or an F2000, an I'll be good for a few thousand bad guys. I'm divorced so you already know I can ignore the yelling and screaming, I want to kill something, and I have a short fuse for ignorance. ;)

 
Are you kidding? Send us old guys? Don't be silly. I have a can of blue spray paint. One 'practice' cruise missile coming up! Why yes, I think the warhead did used to be some other color and come from that heavily armed stores area, why?

We might be old and cranky, but we also have a low BS tolerance. What are they gonna do, shave my head and send me to Okinawa? BTDT. There'd be a lot more round parking lots in the world if they let us play war the way it needs to be played.

 
+1 0n what Eric said. Spent a fair amount of time on Okinawa myself.

I will supply my own weapons just let me choose the targets. :yahoo:

 
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