OVERSENSITIVE WIVES

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Howardrg

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Location
Port Elizabeth - South Africa
OVERSENSITIVE WIVES

Please be aware that as your wives age, it is harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger.

When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive and there is nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.

My name is Dave. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Martha.

When I was laid off from my consulting job and took early retirement in April, it became necessary for Martha to get a full-time job, both for extra income and for the health insurance benefits we needed.

Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf course about the same time she gets home from work, and although she knows how hungry I am, she rests an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her.

Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club, so eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door.

She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now, it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves.. I know she appreciates this, as it does

seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.

I really think my old business as a consultant helps a lot. Telling people what they ought to do is one of my strong points.

Also, now that she has gotten older, she does seem to get tired so much more quickly. Our washer and dryer are in the basement, and sometimes she says she just can't make another

trip down those steps. I don't make a big issue of this, just as long as she finishes up the laundry the next evening. I'm willing to overlook her shortcomings in this area.

Unless I need something ironed to wear to the Monday lodge meeting, or to the Wednesday and Saturday poker club, or to Tuesday's and Thursday's bowling, I'll tell her to wait until the next evening to do the ironing.

This gives her a little more time to do some of those odds and ends like shampooing the dog, vacuuming or dusting. If I had a really bad day on the course and it was wet and muddy,

and my clubs are a mess, I let her clean them, you know, getting the grit off the grips and a little light Brillo on the club faces.

Since my golf bag is heavy, I lift it out of the trunk for her.

Women are delicate, have weak wrists and can't lift heavy stuff as good as men. But I had to tell her that I don't like to be wakened during my after-golf nap, so rather than bother me, she can put them back in the trunk when she's finished.

Another symptom of ageing is complaining, I think. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour.

But boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much.

I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of fresh squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while.

And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too, then take her break by my hammock.

That way we can talk until I fall asleep. I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Martha, but I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy.

Many men will find it difficult, some will find it impossible!

Nobody knows better than I do, how frustrating women get as they get older.

However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your ageing wife because of this letter, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile.

After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.

Regards,

Dave

EDITOR'S NOTE

Dave died suddenly Thursday, May 19th. He was found with a

Calloway extra long 50-inch Big Bertha Golf Driver rammed up

his rectum with only two inches of grip showing. His wife

Martha was arrested, but after the jury read this letter,

they accepted her defence that he accidentally sat on it.

She was released from custody on Friday.

 
That was good advice in this letter. Poor guy, he probably didn't see the golf club when he sat on the hammock.

Humm ... I read it to my wife from my lawn chair while she was washing the cars, she just looked at me with an evil grin and went back to washing; how odd... what would that mean??? :blink:

 
That was good advice in this letter. Poor guy, he probably didn't see the golf club when he sat on the hammock.
Humm ... I read it to my wife from my lawn chair while she was washing the cars, she just looked at me with an evil grin and went back to washing; how odd... what would that mean??? :blink:
I think that means be careful of where you sit. She's looking out for you since this poor guy somehow managed to sit on a golf club.

 
Ya know, now that you brought this to everyones attention, my wife looked at me kinda funny this morning while she cleared the driveway with the snow blower. Wonder what's up with that.... Couldn't have been the nice cup of coffee I had, could it?

Very funny Howard, keep'em coming....

--G

 
Snowblower? :eek: Man can't let the other half see this. I just bought her a new shovel for christmas though she seems rather reluctant to use it. Any suggestions Howard? :D :D

:jester:

 
WINTER CLASSES FOR MEN AT THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY Monday, Jan. 30, 2006

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.

Class 1

How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.

Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours ! beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2

The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?

Round Table Discussion.

Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3

Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and

Avoid ing The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? --- Group Practice.

Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4

Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor ---

Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.

Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5

After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?

Examples on Video.

Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

Class 6

Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote, To Your Significant Other.

Help Line Support and Support Groups.

Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7

Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House! Upside Down While Screaming.

Open Forum .

Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8

Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.

Graphics and Audio Tapes.

Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at! 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9

Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost --- Real Life Testimonials.

Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10

Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?

Driving Simulations.

4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11

Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.

Online Classes and role-playing .

Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12

How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion

Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.

Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13

How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.

Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.

Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14

The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and Ho! w It Is Used.

Live Demonstration.

Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses,

diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

 
Class 10 is priceless! Damned near wet myself from laughing! :lmao:

Class 2 The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?

Round Table Discussion.

Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
You need to take the supplemental class, too:

Proper Placement of the Toilet Paper Roll - Loose End, Over or Under.

Learn the correct way, avoid additional lectures.

Presented by famed psychologist and soothsayer, Emma Tissue-Right, PhD

Meets every second second until you get it right.

Oy. <_< :lol:

 
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