Possibly the best Irish joke this year ...

[kaitsdad]

Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick's Day.

Mick, the bartender, says, “You’ll not be drinking anymore tonight, Paddy.

Paddy replies, "OK, Mick, I'll be on my way then."

Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face. "Shoite," he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off.

He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face, "Shoite, Shoite!"

He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to the door and breathe some fresh air, he'll be fine. He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up to the door frame. He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out onto the sidewalk and falls flat on his face.

"Bi'Jesus... I'm fockin' focked," he says.

He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door, hauls himself up the door frame, opens the door and shimmies inside. He takes a look up the stairs and says "No fockin' way".

He crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and says, "I can make it to the bed."

He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face. He says "Fock it," and falls into bed.

The next morning, his wife, Jess, comes into the room carrying a cup of coffee and says, "Get up, Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night?".

Paddy says, "I did, Jess. I was fockin' pissed. But how'd you know?"

"Mick phoned. You left your wheelchair at the pub."

:bleh:

 

[teerex51]

:clap: :clap: :clap:

 

[FJRottie]

:rolf: :rolf:

 

[throttlejockeyTJ]

:beee:

You know what was responsible for the Irish learing to walk upright?

The Wheelbarrow :haha:

 

[odot]

You must be of "english" blood, throttle.

 

[wheatonFJR]

 

[chickey191]

So there was this brewer's convention and the CEO's of several of the world's top brands decided to head to the bar after a particularly boring strategy session:

The Chairman of Budweiser steps up to the bar and say:

"Bar keep - pour me the King of Beers - We Americans make the worlds best beer and I feel like having a cold one".

The Chairman of Becks saunters up to the bar and states:

Vee Deutchers haff alvays brewed zee best beer - all natural ingrediants and the finest of zee hops- pour me a Becks, bitte.

The Chairman of Fosters steps up to the bar and states:

oy - every joey knows that they brew the best beah down under - pour me a Fosters - and keep 'em coming.

So the Chairman of Guinness steps up to the bar:

and orders a Coke with a lime.

All the CEO look at him in wonder and together ask him - what in hell are you doing?

The chairman says....

Well - if fockers aren't drinkin' - then neither am I.