donaldb
Well-known member
I'm sure this story prolly isn't true, but it is a funny read none the less!
Never try to rope a deer
>>I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put
>>it in a stall, Feed it up on corn for a couple of
>>weeks, then kill it and eat it. The first step in this
>>adventure was getting a deer. I figured that since
>>they congregated at my cattle feeder and do not seem
>>to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one
>>will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of
>>feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet
>>away) that it should not be difficult to rope one, get
>>up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it
>>down) then hog tie it and transport it home.
>>
>>I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end
>>with my rope. The cattle, who had seen the roping
>>thing before, stayed well back. They were not having
>>any of it. After about 20 minutes my deer showed up -
>>3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped
>>out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The
>>deer just stood there and stared at me. I wrapped the
>>rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would
>>have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared
>>at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned
>>about the whole rope situation. I took a step towards
>>it...it took a step away. I put a little tension on
>>the rope and received an education.
>>
>>The first thing that I learned is that while a deer
>>may just stand there looking at you funny while you
>>rope it, they are spurred to action when you start
>>pulling on that rope. That deer EXPLODED.
>>
>>The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a
>>deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or
>>a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a
>>rope with some dignity. A deer, no chance.
>
>>That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled.
>>There was no controlling it and certainly no getting
>>close to it. As it ****** me off my feet and started
>>dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that
>>having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea
>>as I originally imagined. The only up side is that
>>they do not have as much stamina as many animals. A
>>brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as
>>quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I
>>managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize
>>this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing
>>out of the big gash in my head.
>
>>At that point I had lost my taste for corn fed
>>venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off
>>the end of that rope. I figured if I just let it go
>>with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely
>>die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there
>>was no love at all between me and that deer. At that
>>moment, I hated the thing and I would venture a guess
>>that the feeling was mutual. Despite the gash in my
>>head and the several large knots where I had cleverly
>>arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head
>>against various large rocks as it dragged me across
>>the ground, I could still think clearly enough to
>>recognize that there was a small chance that I shared
>>some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation
>>we were in, so I didn't want the deer to have it
>>suffer a slow death so I managed to get it lined back
>>up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap
>>I had set before hand. Kind of like a squeeze chute. I
>>got it to back in there and started moving up so I
>>could get my rope back.
>
>>Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a
>>million years would have thought that a deer would
>>bite somebody so I was very surprised when I reached
>>up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold
>>of my wrist. Now, when a deer bites you, it is not
>>like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and
>>then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head -
>>almost like a pit bull.
>
>>They bite HARD and it hurts.
>
>>The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is
>>probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried
>>screaming and shaking instead. My method was
>>ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and
>>shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only
>>several seconds. I, being smarter than a deer (though
>>you may be questioning that claim by now) tricked it.
>>While I kept it busy tearing up my right arm, I
>>reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope
>>loose.
>
>>That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior
>>for the day. Deer will strike at you with their front
>>feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike
>>right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves
>>are surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that
>>when an animal like a horse strikes at you with their
>>hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing
>>to do is try to make a loud noise and make an
>>aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually
>>cause them to back down a bit so you can escape. This
>>was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously such
>>trickery would not work. In the course of a
>>millisecond I devised a different strategy. I screamed
>>like woman and tried to turn and run.
>
>>The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn
>>and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is
>>a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the
>>head. Deer may not be so different from horses after
>>all, besides being twice as strong and three times as
>>evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me
>>right in the back of the head and knocked me down. Now
>>when a deer paws at you and knocks you down it does
>>not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize
>>that the danger has passed. What they do instead is
>>paw your back and jump up and down on you while you
>>are laying there crying like a little girl and
>>covering your head.
>
>>I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the
>>deer went away.
>
>>Now for the local legend. I was pretty beat up. My
>>scalp was split open, I had several large goose eggs,
>>my wrist was bleeding pretty good and felt broken (it
>>turned out to be just badly bruised) and my back was
>>bleeding in a few places, though my insulated canvas
>>jacket had protected me from most of the worst of it.
>>I drove to the nearest place, which was the co-op. I
>>got out of the truck, covered in blood and dust. The
>>guy who ran the place saw me through the window and
>>came running out yelling "what happened"?
>
>>I have never seen any law in the state of Kansas that
>>would prohibit an individual from roping a deer. I
>>suspect that this is an area that they have overlooked
>>entirely. Knowing, as I do, the lengths to which law
>>enforcement personnel will go to exercise their power,
>>I was concerned that they may find a way to twist the
>>existing laws to paint my actions as criminal. I
>>swear...not wanting to admit that I had done something
>>monumentally stupid played no part in my response. I
>>told him "I was attacked by a deer". I did not mention
>>that at the time I had a rope on it. The evidence was
>>all over my body. Deer prints on the back of my jacket
>>where it had stomped all over me and a large deer
>>print on my face where it had struck me there. I asked
>>him to call somebody to come get me. I didn't think I
>>could make it home on my own. He did. Later that
>>afternoon, a game warden showed up at my house and
>>wanted to know about the deer attack. Surprisingly,
>>deer attacks are a rare thing and wildlife and parks
>>was interested in the event. I tried to describe the
>>attack as completely and accurately as I could. I was
>>filling the grain hopper and this deer came out of
>>nowhere and just started kicking the hell out of me
>>and BIT me. It was obviously rabid or insane or
>>something.
>
>>EVERYBODY for miles around knows about the deer attack
>>(the guy at the co-op has a big mouth). For several
>>weeks people dragged their kids in the house when they
>>saw deer around and the local ranchers carried rifles
>>when they filled their feeders. I have told several
>>people the story, but NEVER anybody around here. I
>>have to see these people every day and as an outsider
>>a "city folk" I have enough trouble fitting in
>>without them snickering behind my back and whispering
>>"there is the ***** that tried to rope the deer."
Never try to rope a deer
>>I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put
>>it in a stall, Feed it up on corn for a couple of
>>weeks, then kill it and eat it. The first step in this
>>adventure was getting a deer. I figured that since
>>they congregated at my cattle feeder and do not seem
>>to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one
>>will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of
>>feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet
>>away) that it should not be difficult to rope one, get
>>up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it
>>down) then hog tie it and transport it home.
>>
>>I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end
>>with my rope. The cattle, who had seen the roping
>>thing before, stayed well back. They were not having
>>any of it. After about 20 minutes my deer showed up -
>>3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped
>>out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The
>>deer just stood there and stared at me. I wrapped the
>>rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would
>>have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared
>>at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned
>>about the whole rope situation. I took a step towards
>>it...it took a step away. I put a little tension on
>>the rope and received an education.
>>
>>The first thing that I learned is that while a deer
>>may just stand there looking at you funny while you
>>rope it, they are spurred to action when you start
>>pulling on that rope. That deer EXPLODED.
>>
>>The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a
>>deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or
>>a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a
>>rope with some dignity. A deer, no chance.
>
>>That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled.
>>There was no controlling it and certainly no getting
>>close to it. As it ****** me off my feet and started
>>dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that
>>having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea
>>as I originally imagined. The only up side is that
>>they do not have as much stamina as many animals. A
>>brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as
>>quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I
>>managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize
>>this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing
>>out of the big gash in my head.
>
>>At that point I had lost my taste for corn fed
>>venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off
>>the end of that rope. I figured if I just let it go
>>with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely
>>die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there
>>was no love at all between me and that deer. At that
>>moment, I hated the thing and I would venture a guess
>>that the feeling was mutual. Despite the gash in my
>>head and the several large knots where I had cleverly
>>arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head
>>against various large rocks as it dragged me across
>>the ground, I could still think clearly enough to
>>recognize that there was a small chance that I shared
>>some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation
>>we were in, so I didn't want the deer to have it
>>suffer a slow death so I managed to get it lined back
>>up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap
>>I had set before hand. Kind of like a squeeze chute. I
>>got it to back in there and started moving up so I
>>could get my rope back.
>
>>Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a
>>million years would have thought that a deer would
>>bite somebody so I was very surprised when I reached
>>up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold
>>of my wrist. Now, when a deer bites you, it is not
>>like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and
>>then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head -
>>almost like a pit bull.
>
>>They bite HARD and it hurts.
>
>>The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is
>>probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried
>>screaming and shaking instead. My method was
>>ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and
>>shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only
>>several seconds. I, being smarter than a deer (though
>>you may be questioning that claim by now) tricked it.
>>While I kept it busy tearing up my right arm, I
>>reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope
>>loose.
>
>>That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior
>>for the day. Deer will strike at you with their front
>>feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike
>>right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves
>>are surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that
>>when an animal like a horse strikes at you with their
>>hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing
>>to do is try to make a loud noise and make an
>>aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually
>>cause them to back down a bit so you can escape. This
>>was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously such
>>trickery would not work. In the course of a
>>millisecond I devised a different strategy. I screamed
>>like woman and tried to turn and run.
>
>>The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn
>>and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is
>>a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the
>>head. Deer may not be so different from horses after
>>all, besides being twice as strong and three times as
>>evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me
>>right in the back of the head and knocked me down. Now
>>when a deer paws at you and knocks you down it does
>>not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize
>>that the danger has passed. What they do instead is
>>paw your back and jump up and down on you while you
>>are laying there crying like a little girl and
>>covering your head.
>
>>I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the
>>deer went away.
>
>>Now for the local legend. I was pretty beat up. My
>>scalp was split open, I had several large goose eggs,
>>my wrist was bleeding pretty good and felt broken (it
>>turned out to be just badly bruised) and my back was
>>bleeding in a few places, though my insulated canvas
>>jacket had protected me from most of the worst of it.
>>I drove to the nearest place, which was the co-op. I
>>got out of the truck, covered in blood and dust. The
>>guy who ran the place saw me through the window and
>>came running out yelling "what happened"?
>
>>I have never seen any law in the state of Kansas that
>>would prohibit an individual from roping a deer. I
>>suspect that this is an area that they have overlooked
>>entirely. Knowing, as I do, the lengths to which law
>>enforcement personnel will go to exercise their power,
>>I was concerned that they may find a way to twist the
>>existing laws to paint my actions as criminal. I
>>swear...not wanting to admit that I had done something
>>monumentally stupid played no part in my response. I
>>told him "I was attacked by a deer". I did not mention
>>that at the time I had a rope on it. The evidence was
>>all over my body. Deer prints on the back of my jacket
>>where it had stomped all over me and a large deer
>>print on my face where it had struck me there. I asked
>>him to call somebody to come get me. I didn't think I
>>could make it home on my own. He did. Later that
>>afternoon, a game warden showed up at my house and
>>wanted to know about the deer attack. Surprisingly,
>>deer attacks are a rare thing and wildlife and parks
>>was interested in the event. I tried to describe the
>>attack as completely and accurately as I could. I was
>>filling the grain hopper and this deer came out of
>>nowhere and just started kicking the hell out of me
>>and BIT me. It was obviously rabid or insane or
>>something.
>
>>EVERYBODY for miles around knows about the deer attack
>>(the guy at the co-op has a big mouth). For several
>>weeks people dragged their kids in the house when they
>>saw deer around and the local ranchers carried rifles
>>when they filled their feeders. I have told several
>>people the story, but NEVER anybody around here. I
>>have to see these people every day and as an outsider
>>a "city folk" I have enough trouble fitting in
>>without them snickering behind my back and whispering
>>"there is the ***** that tried to rope the deer."
