Niehart
Pie Smuggler
· My goal for 2016 was to lose just 10 pounds. Only 15 to go.
· Ate salad for dinner! Mostly croutons and tomatoes. Really just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce. And cheese. FINE, it was a pizza. I ate a pizza.
· How to prepare tofu:
1. Throw it in the trash.
2. Grill some meat.
· I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.
· I don't mean to brag but...I finished my 14-day diet in three hours and 20 minutes.
· A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.
· Kids today don't know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.
· Senility has been a smooth transition for me.
· Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero outside they closed school? Me neither.
· I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented...I forgot where I was going with this.
· I love being over 70. I learn something new every day...and forget five others.
· A thief broke into my house last night...he started searching for money so I woke up and searched with him.
· I think I'll just put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead and call it a day.
· Ate salad for dinner! Mostly croutons and tomatoes. Really just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce. And cheese. FINE, it was a pizza. I ate a pizza.
· How to prepare tofu:
1. Throw it in the trash.
2. Grill some meat.
· I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.
· I don't mean to brag but...I finished my 14-day diet in three hours and 20 minutes.
· A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.
· Kids today don't know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.
· Senility has been a smooth transition for me.
· Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero outside they closed school? Me neither.
· I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented...I forgot where I was going with this.
· I love being over 70. I learn something new every day...and forget five others.
· A thief broke into my house last night...he started searching for money so I woke up and searched with him.
· I think I'll just put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead and call it a day.
