Smart Ass Answer

[MEM]

[SIZE=14pt]The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window (or raised his visor ). 'I've been waiting for you all day,' the cop said.[/SIZE]

The kid replied, 'Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.' When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

 

[v65]

I tried to be funny with a LEO once. One of us didn't have a good sense of humor.

 

[old&slow]

25 plus years ago I was going to Canada for a hunting trip.... When I got to the Canada border the Border guard ( a young kid) ask why we went coming to Canada...

Which I answered, To go bear hunting... Then He asked,, If we had guns ?? And I said,,, No we were planning on beating the bear to death with a stick... :yahoo:

Oh , well at least I thought it was funny...... Had to pull it over and go thru everything short of a strip search.... <_<

 

[ionbeam]

A few years ago, during the height of Xmas rush the cashier says to me, 'How would you like to pay for that?' I responded, 'With someone else's credit card.' Without giving it another thought I handed her my card. I now understand where security guards and cops got the nickname Dicks.

 

[MEM]

Which I answered, To go bear hunting... Then He asked,, If we had guns ?? And I said,,, No we were planning on beating the bear to death with a stick... :yahoo:

Yeah, we don't have the same philosophy about guns up here ! if it's any consolation, I think your response was a good one And I've been all but strip searched in our pokey little airport for an overnight flight to NJ.....

 

[BobbyBlue]

I got married in Del Rio Texas which, of course, necessitated a trip to Acuna Mexico the night before. Got smashed at Ma Crosbys and generally had a hell raisin' good time. As we were crossing back into the US, my fastidious groomsman remarks to the border patrol who questions him on the white powder showing in the ashtray ( baking soda !!! ) its Coke of course occifer....4 hours later...the sun is up and we cant get the seat back on its tracks to drive this POS Celica back to the hotel after a sobering game of strip search the wettos......thank God for adrenaline....then again the marriage sucked most of its 20 years so there ya go.....it is funny..sorta like my 7th coronary in bed..in retrospect...at least I can still retro....

Blessings

Bobby

 

[Checkswrecks]

I got married in Del Rio Texas which, of course, necessitated a trip to Acuna Mexico the night before. Got smashed at Ma Crosbys and generally had a hell raisin' good time. As we were crossing back into the US, my fastidious groomsman remarks to the border patrol who questions him on the white powder showing in the ashtray ( baking soda !!! ) its Coke of course occifer....4 hours later...the sun is up and we cant get the seat back on its tracks to drive this POS Celica back to the hotel after a sobering game of strip search the wettos......thank God for adrenaline....then again the marriage sucked most of its 20 years so there ya go.....it is funny..sorta like my 7th coronary in bed..in retrospect...at least I can still retro....
Blessings

Bobby

Oh the visual image of this one had me on the floor laughing!

I likened it to the old adage that a good friend is one who will bail you out.

Your best friend will be on the jail cot next to yours, saying something like

"That was fukin' awesome!"

 

[bikesniffer]

Regularly going to Germany across border from Switzerland for shopping...it's only 1.2km

German border guard asking where I'm going? Replied: "To Afghanistan, can't you tell?" He get's upset and says: "Well you should know that you must give me a factual answer that states your true intentions." Says I: "Yes I know, but sometimes I change my mind on the way there and end up shopping just down the road."

The guy never asked me again where I'am going...

 

[MEM]

I got married in Del Rio Texas which, of course, necessitated a trip to Acuna Mexico the night before. Got smashed at Ma Crosbys and generally had a hell raisin' good time. As we were crossing back into the US, my fastidious groomsman remarks to the border patrol who questions him on the white powder showing in the ashtray ( baking soda !!! ) its Coke of course occifer....4 hours later...the sun is up and we cant get the seat back on its tracks to drive this POS Celica back to the hotel after a sobering game of strip search the wettos......thank God for adrenaline....then again the marriage sucked most of its 20 years so there ya go.....it is funny..sorta like my 7th coronary in bed..in retrospect...at least I can still retro....
Blessings

Bobby

Oh the visual image of this one had me on the floor laughing!

I likened it to the old adage that a good friend is one who will bail you out.

Your best friend will be on the jail cot next to yours, saying something like

"That was fukin' awesome!"

Or this ?

 

[Bounce]

Reminds me of the time we were attempting to cross over into Canada from WA state. I was working the first NW Passage Rally and was riding shotgun with the Rally Master in his truck. As we approached the check point, he turns, looks at me and says, "Let's try an experiment. Let's be honest with them."

3+ hours later we finally turned around, went and found a storage building to rent in the US, left ALL of the rider swag there and came back across the border instead of trying to figure out a way to pay for only the stuff we were hauling to the next checkpoint instead of taxes on everything on the (unitemized) receipt. The continued to insist that we would try to sell the give-away shirts and books and therefore should pay taxes on the whole bulk; applying for a refund after a second (exit) inventory showed what we didn't leave behind.

Oh, and the RM forgot that his dad had given him a box of reloaded ammo (6 months earlier) and that it was under the driver's seat. :blink:

At least the border guard was a hot blonde chick that looked good in uniform. With her arm up to her elbow in my bike's passenger seat bag, she asked me if I had anything she should know about in the bag. She wasn't really delighted when I asked her back, "Besides my dirty underwear?"

 

[MEM]

Some of the border crossing officers are more reasonable and/or personable than others (dare I say "brighter" too ?). Here's an interesting incident that happened Thursday morning at the border crossing about 60 miles from my house