The joy of forcing the use of technology

[GunMD]

Where I work I am one of two Systems Analysts. Never mind the title, what I REALLY do is application development and database administration. In the course of a normal day I deal with internal "customers" in order to gather requirements, test applications, etc. Not exactly "tech support" unless it has to do with one of my applications. But since I'm the closest thing to a geek for a few miles in any direction I tend to get every conversation that starts with "Hey, I have a question..." or "Every time I click {insert incoherent babble here} I get an error message that says {insert a phrase that has no meaning whatsoever here}..."

Anyway, the other day this conversation actually took place. I was the only one in the office but I just had to share it with someone...I emailed it to a co-worker who had the day off. Below is the actual text of that email. Enjoy.

Subject: Shoot me in the sack pleaseImportance: Low

Lee just stopped by with a question about burning files to CD.

Lee: (Holding up a stack of CDs) "Do I need to format these diskettes before I use them?"

Me: "Are they CD-Rs or CD-RWs?"

Lee: "Huh? How can you tell?"

Me: "It's printed on the CD"

Lee: "Oh, it says "RW". What does that mean?"

Me: "That means that they're CD-RW's. You need to format them before you

can write to them."

Lee: "I don't really need to write on them...I just want to copy some stuff

to them."

Me: "They must be formatted first."

Lee: "How do you do that? Just like you would a regular floppy diskette?"

Me: "No. Uhhh. You need to uhh. Using the burning software. It'll walk

you through the process."

Lee: "Oh, OK. Cool. I was just wondering because it works at home but not

here."

Me: "NMCI computers don't play well with CD-RWs. You need to get some

CD-Rs"

Lee: "What are those used for?"

Me: "CD-Rs can be written to one time only. CD-RWs can be written to

again and again if they're properly formatted."

Lee: "Oh, so I need the CD-R kind?"

Me: "Yes, you do."

Lee: "Hmmm. Ok. That stinks. So then I can't get the files back off of

the CD?"

Me: "No, that's not what I said. You can't write to a CD-R more than

once. You can still open the files on the CD-R, just not write to the CD-R

a second time."

Lee: "Oh. OK. So I need the other kind then, huh?"

Me: "No. CD-RW's don't seem to work very well on these computers. Use

the CD-Rs."

Lee: "Oh. OK. So are you taking any motorcycle trips soon?"

Me: "Yeah, I have a couple of trips planned for the next month or so."

Lee: "Really? Cool. Where are you going?"

Me: "In two weeks I will be in Park City....then two weeks later in

Yosemite and the Sierra Nevadas for a week."

Lee: "Oh. OK. Cool. Yosemite huh? That's cool. How do you get up

there? It's the 5, right?"

Me: "No. I'll take the 395 to the east side of Yosemite."

Lee: "Oh. OK. The 395? That goes all the way up there?"

Me: "Yeah, all the way to Yosemite...East side."

Lee: "Oh. OK. Cool. Is that up hill?"

.....

.....

Me: "What?"

Lee: "Is that up hill? To Yosemite? On the 395 I mean?"

Me: "It's in the Sierras. In the mountains. So uhh..."

Lee: "Oh. OK. Cool. You taking your motorcycle with you?"

Me: "YEAH."

Lee: "Oh. OK. Cool. Sounds like fun. Have fun. Have a good weekend up

there."

Me: "Uh, yeah...thanks. You too, Lee."

Lee: "I gotta go format these diskettes now."

---------------------

I swear. Honest. Really. That's EXACTLY how it went down.

I love my job...really, I do. But there are days....

 

[John_Dumke]

GunMD,

That was a good one. Thanks for that one.

How about helping your 78year old mom, over the phone.

Me: Click on the (whatever) icon.

Mom: What's an icon.

Me: That is the little picture things you click on. You know like when you want to start a program.

Mom: I don't have any pictures on my screen & what's a program.

(try different tact)

Me: Ok then go to the start button.

Mom: What's the start buttom. You mean the on off switch.

We might as well be speaking a different language. And it just goes on and on. It usually takes about 5 minutes and I am ready to KILL my self.

 

[C&C]

I think what happened with Lee is that he just didn't know what you were talking about. You overwhelmed him with a bunch of 'letters' (geek speak). Perhaps, if you had explained that RW means Read/write, he might have got it. What you failed to do is remember when you didn't take, all that you said to him, for granted and put yourself at his level. Maybe the guy is a dork (I don't know that) but he sounds like he was just ignorant of the information he was trying to understand. Now if he was stupid too, well, that's another matter.

 

[NoCage]

I think what happened with Lee is that he just didn't know what you were talking about. You overwhelmed him with a bunch of 'letters' (geek speak). Perhaps, if you had explained that RW means Read/write, he might have got it. What you failed to do is remember when you didn't take, all that you said to him, for granted and put yourself at his level. Maybe the guy is a dork (I don't know that) but he sounds like he was just ignorant of the information he was trying to understand. Now if he was stupid too, well, that's another matter.

I may have agreed that using acronyms confused Lee... but, "Is that uphill?" (going to the mountains) and "Are you taking your motorcycle with you?" (on a motorcycle trip) pretty much tells me Lee stays confused, no matter the subject. :blink:

 

[radman]

I'm trying to get a bank that administers our fleet fuel and maint credit cards to change the sort order on a daily transaction file. It's been a month. I've been told I need to deal with my "Relationship Manager" to facilitate the change. I told them I don't want a date, don't want to post a picture and a paragraph, just want a small change to a report structure. Ad nauseum. :glare:

PS: Oh, ok, cool.

 

[GunMD]

I think what happened with Lee is that he just didn't know what you were talking about. You overwhelmed him with a bunch of 'letters' (geek speak). Perhaps, if you had explained that RW means Read/write, he might have got it. What you failed to do is remember when you didn't take, all that you said to him, for granted and put yourself at his level. Maybe the guy is a dork (I don't know that) but he sounds like he was just ignorant of the information he was trying to understand. Now if he was stupid too, well, that's another matter.

I wouldn't say Lee is stupid, but he requires several visits before he "gets it", no matter the topic. I am not exaggerating when I say that my co-worker and I have had to explain some fairly simple and repetitive tasks to this guy as many as six times. By "simple" I mean something that has very few steps with well marked buttons and links.

I've even watched him write the steps down and then still return the next day to ask again...

1. Click "create work order"2. Input equipment serial number

3. Click "Submit work order"

4. Click "order parts"

5. Enter required part number

6. Click "Submit order"

"Oh, OK. Cool. I got it."

"Hey Scott, can you help me with that part ordering thingy that you showed me yesterday?"



Somehow I've managed not to freak out...he's one of those people that is really a super nice guy...so you can't hardly find a way to get upset with him. But frustration? Yeah, that happens.

Did I mention that I really love my job? I really do.

But there are days...

I'm trying to get a bank that administers our fleet fuel and maint credit cards to change the sort order on a daily transaction file. It's been a month. I've been told I need to deal with my "Relationship Manager" to facilitate the change. I told them I don't want a date, don't want to post a picture and a paragraph", just want a small change to a report structure. Ad nauseum. :glare:
PS: Oh, ok, cool.

That certainly doesn't seem like rocket science...I suspect it's a matter of standardization...they want to run the same query for every customer and kick out the same fields in the same order. From a technical perspective the sort order is barely an issue at all.

ORDER BY {Your_Field_Here}

 

[Bounce]

Had a guy like that. He wrote some simple steps down on a PostIt and put it on his monitor. No less than 4 times after that he asked for help on the exact same thing. After the first time, all of us simply pointed to the PostIt and said, follow those steps right there.

 

[C&C]

10-4 It does sound as he is a couple cards short of a deck. (on the other side of the coin, he will never be bored with his job, everyday will seem like his first day)

 

[vectervp1]

I've got someone like that here. He's a great guy and really works hard, but he just has the damnedest time with computers. He feels bad for asking the questions, and I usually have to go over stuff with him 3-4 times, but thats ok. I'd much rather deal with one guy who needs a little extra assistance than an office full of ******** like my old job.

Its actually a little funny Gun, because it was just this week I was helping my 'special' employee burn stuff to a CD too....