Howardrg
Well-known member
NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm
summer evening when a Woman in the convertible ahead of us stood
up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the
shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat,
"Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"
MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself
in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst
into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover.
The little boy watched in amazement and then asked,
"What's the matter haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"
HONESTY
My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to
tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished
it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking
for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my
toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile,
"We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the
toilet a few days ago."
OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his
teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions
expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his
parents."
KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out
of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her
4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister,
Mommy," the child said to her mother. Then she added , "Mommy
can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting
the bottle."
ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches
to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4- year-old daughter on
my afternoon rounds. The various appliances of old age,
particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs, unfailingly
intrigued her. One day I found her staring at a pair of false
teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable
barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The
tooth fairy will never believe this!"
DRESS- UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a
party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned,
"Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not, darling?"
"You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning."
I was driving with my three young children one warm
summer evening when a Woman in the convertible ahead of us stood
up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the
shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat,
"Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"
MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself
in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst
into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover.
The little boy watched in amazement and then asked,
"What's the matter haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"
HONESTY
My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to
tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished
it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking
for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my
toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile,
"We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the
toilet a few days ago."
OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his
teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions
expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his
parents."
KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out
of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her
4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister,
Mommy," the child said to her mother. Then she added , "Mommy
can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting
the bottle."
ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches
to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4- year-old daughter on
my afternoon rounds. The various appliances of old age,
particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs, unfailingly
intrigued her. One day I found her staring at a pair of false
teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable
barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The
tooth fairy will never believe this!"
DRESS- UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a
party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned,
"Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not, darling?"
"You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning."