Washington Post's Mensa Invitational

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The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take

any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing

of one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's (2005)

winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject

financially impotent for an indefinite period.

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an *******.

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you

realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright

ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign

of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of

getting

laid.

7 . Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person

who

doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

12. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really

bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's

like, a serious bummer.

13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming

only things that are good for you.

14. Glibido: All talk and no action.

15 Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they

come at you rapidly.

16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've

accidentally walked through a spider web.

17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your

bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out

18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the

fruit you're eating.

 
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