Where to Live After Retirement

[ionbeam]

You can live in Phoenix, Arizona, where...

1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.

2. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.

3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.

4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.

5. You know that 'dry heat' is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.

6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!

You can Live in California, where

1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.

2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.

3. You know how to eat an artichoke.

4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.

5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there, rather than how many miles away it is.

6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought.

You can Live in New York City, where...

1. You say 'the city' and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.

2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.

3. You think Central Park is 'nature'.

4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multilingual.

5. You've worn out a car horn.

6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

You can Live in Minnesota, where...

1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.

2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.

3. You have more than one recipe for moose.

4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.

5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.

You can Live in the Deep South, where...

1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.

2. 'y'all' is singular and 'all y'all' is plural.

3. 'He needed killin'' is a valid defense.

4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jim Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, MARY BETH, etc.

You can live in Colorado, where...

1. You carry your $3 ,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.

2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day care center.

3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.

4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

You can live in the Midwest, where...

1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.

2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.

3. You have had to switch from 'heat' to 'A/C' on the same day.

4. You end sentences with a preposition: 'Where's my coat at?'

5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, 'It was different!'

AND You can live in Florida, where...

1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.

2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind - even houses and cars.

3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.

4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.

5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.

 

[El Toro]

You can live in Maine where

1. You and your descendents will always be from "away." Afterall, if a cat crawls in the oven and has kittens, you don't call them biscuits.

2. You "manufacture" your wood, the fuel that warms you thrice (cutting, splitting, stacking; loading, burning; ash hauling - oh wait, that was 6 times, not 3).

3. You'll get tired of lobsters, you'll buy crab meat for nothing since its just a byproduct of the lobster industry, and when you go to a restaurant, you'll order a hamburger and a piece of chocolate creme pie.

4. There are only three seasons.... Winter, Mud Season, and Fourth of July. If you're lucky and there's Summer, what you do in Summer will depend on whether or not it comes on a weekend.

 

[Bogey907]

You can Live in the Deep South, where...
1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.

2. 'y'all' is singular and 'all y'all' is plural.

3. 'He needed killin'' is a valid defense.

4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jim Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, MARY BETH, etc.

And what's unusual about any of that?

All y'all can kees my ayuss!

signed,

Bobby Bob

 

[wfooshee]

Billie Jo, the lady that works nights at the gas station/bait store/video store/canoe rental place sez, "All y'all needs killin'!"

Edit: Come to think of it, what she would actually say is, "Y'all all of ya needs killin'!"

 

[johnny80s]

5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there, rather than how many miles away it is.

This very true. All my relatives make fun of me when they come to town and ask how far something is and I give them a time not mileage.

 

[airboss]

And in the Midwest, rush hour only last 15 minutes

 

[wheatonFJR]

Thanks for the post Alan! :clapping:

Very funny. :lol:

 

[beemerdons]

"...over 100 recipes for Mexican food." Jesu Cristo, compadre; I've 10 recipes for menudo alone. Make that 300 recipes!!!

Tu Tio Chuy Medina's "El Burrito Ballerina" Favorite Menudo Recipe; aka BeemerDonS.

A large saucepan (see note below)

1 calf's foot (about 1 to 1 1/2 pounds)

2 pounds honeycomb tripe

1 large onion

3 cloves garlic, peeled

6 peppercorns

2 teaspoons salt, or to taste

4 quarts of water

A comal or griddle

3 large chiles anchos

A spice grinder

A large chile poblano, peeled or 2 canned, peeled green chiles

The calf's foot

1/2 cup canned hominy (1 pound) drained (see note below)

Salt as necessary

1 scant teaspoon oregano

Have the butcher cut the calf's foot into four pieces. Cut the tripe into small squares. Put them into the pan with the rest of the ingredients. Cover with water and bring to a boil. Lower the flame and simmer uncovered for about 2 hours, or until the tripe and foot are just tender but not too soft. Meanwhile, toast the chilies well. Slit them open and remove the seeds and veins from the chile poblano, cut it into strips, and add to the meat while it is cooking. Remove the pieces of calf's foot from the pen, and when they are cool enough to handle, strip off the fleshy parts. Chop them roughly and return them to the pan.

Add hominy and continue cooking the menudo slowly, still uncovered, for another 2 hours.

Add salt as necessary. Sprinkle with oregano and serve (see note below).

This amount is sufficient for 7 or 8 people. It should be served in large, deep bowls with hot tortillas and small dishes of chopped chile serranos, finely chopped onion and wedges of lime for each person to help himself, along with Salsa de Tomate Verde Cruda to be eaten with tortillas. Beverage of choice with Chuy's menudo es Negra Modelo or Carta Blanca!!!

 

[Geezer]

"...over 100 recipes for Mexican food." Jesu Cristo, compadre; I've 10 recipes for menudo alone. Make that 300 recipes!!!

Tu Tio Chuy Medina's "El Burrito Ballerina' Favorite Menudo Recipe; aka BeemerDonS.

A large saucepan (see note below)

1 calf's foot (about 1 to 1 1/2 pounds)

2 pounds honeycomb tripe

1 large onion

(snip)

Calf's foot..... tripe..... Ewwww.

 

[Brodie]

"...over 100 recipes for Mexican food." Jesu Cristo, compadre; I've 10 recipes for menudo alone. Make that 300 recipes!!!

Tu Tio Chuy Medina's "El Burrito Ballerina' Favorite Menudo Recipe; aka BeemerDonS.

...this amount is sufficient for 7 or 8 people. It should be served in large, deep bowls with hot tortillas and small dishes of chopped chile serranos, finely chopped onion and wedges of lime for each person to help himself, along with Salsa de Tomate Verde Cruda to be eaten with tortillas. Beverage of choice with Chuy's menudo es Negra Modelo or Carta Blanca!!!

Ah man, I'm hungry - When do we chow down! :thumbsupsmiley:

 

[kaitsdad]

Yeah, good home made Menudo is to die for.

Eat it with fresh limes, tortillas de maize, and a really cold beer.

That tripe just slides right down if it's cooked right.

Nummy !!

 

[Bustanut joker]

AND You can live in Florida, where...
1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.

2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind - even houses and cars.

3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.

4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.

5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.

An one reason not to move down there

Manatee Copulators who wear Helmets while driving an yakin on the phone....

Sheeesh!

:jester:

 

[beemerdons]

Yeah, good home made Menudo is to die for.
Eat it with fresh limes, tortillas de maize, and a really cold beer.

That tripe just slides right down if it's cooked right.

Nummy !!

kaitsdad: Hal, might be a new event that you could cover! You set up that nice "Hot Dog Search" a while back where you had everyone here on the Forum report in on the best hot dogs in North America, perhaps it is time for a Menudo Maneuver!

vectervp1 - Art Montoya and I are always out on our FJR's searching out new places for menudo on Domingo, we drag Wolfhound and SkooterG with us, just to see the expressions on those mooks faces as we eat our menudo; they turn green!

Maybe before it gets too hot in the Southwest, SOCAL FJR RIDERS and Arizona FJR Forum Group could meet at San Luis de Colorado south of Yuma some Sunday at 1000 hours; slip over the border, then we menudo lovers can enjoy real menudo!!!

 

[fjrob1300]

Thanks... I was thinking of Kentucky or Tennessee or Virginia but some of those other places sound so nice. :clapping:

 

[bramfrank]

I think next summer's road trip might swing by this place:

https://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=4632991n

 

[gregory]

Add to Phoenix:

You no longer associate rivers with water!

 

[happyPuppy]

My plan is to snowbird summers in WA ( I love the mountain twisties ) and winter in the SW. The plan is to freeload with the kids in WA and get a place in AZ as the prices have tanked.