beemerdons
Certifiable Old Fart
A Russian wrestler and Olaf, a Danish wrestler, were set to square
off for the Olympic Gold Medal. Before the final match, the Danish
wrestling coach came to Olaf and said, "Now, don't forget all the
research we've done on this Russian. He's never lost a match because of
this 'pretzel' hold he has. Whatever you do, do not let him get you in
that hold! If he does, you're finished." Olaf nodded in acknowledgment.
As the match started, Olaf and the Russian circled each other several
times, looking for an opening. All of a sudden, the Russian lunged
forward, grabbing Olaf and wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold.
A sigh of disappointment arose from the crowd and the coach buried his
face in his hands, for he knew all was lost. He couldn't watch the
inevitable happen.
Suddenly, there was a scream, then a cheer from the crowd and the coach
raised his eyes just in time to watch the Russian go flying up in the
air. His back hit the mat with a thud and Olaf collapsed on top of him
making the pin and winning the match. The crowd went crazy. The coach
was astounded.
*When he finally got his wrestler alone, he asked, "How did you ever get
out of that hold? No one has ever done it before!"
Olaf the Dane answered, "Vell, I vas reddy to give up ven he got me in dat hold,
but at da last moment, I opened my eyes and saw dis pair of testicles
right in front of my face...I had nuttin' to lose so wid my last ounce
of strength I stretched out my neck and bit dose babies just as hard as
I could."
So the trainer exclaimed, "That's what finished him off!"*
"Vel, not really. You'd be amazed how strong you get ven you bite your
own nuts."
off for the Olympic Gold Medal. Before the final match, the Danish
wrestling coach came to Olaf and said, "Now, don't forget all the
research we've done on this Russian. He's never lost a match because of
this 'pretzel' hold he has. Whatever you do, do not let him get you in
that hold! If he does, you're finished." Olaf nodded in acknowledgment.
As the match started, Olaf and the Russian circled each other several
times, looking for an opening. All of a sudden, the Russian lunged
forward, grabbing Olaf and wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold.
A sigh of disappointment arose from the crowd and the coach buried his
face in his hands, for he knew all was lost. He couldn't watch the
inevitable happen.
Suddenly, there was a scream, then a cheer from the crowd and the coach
raised his eyes just in time to watch the Russian go flying up in the
air. His back hit the mat with a thud and Olaf collapsed on top of him
making the pin and winning the match. The crowd went crazy. The coach
was astounded.
*When he finally got his wrestler alone, he asked, "How did you ever get
out of that hold? No one has ever done it before!"
Olaf the Dane answered, "Vell, I vas reddy to give up ven he got me in dat hold,
but at da last moment, I opened my eyes and saw dis pair of testicles
right in front of my face...I had nuttin' to lose so wid my last ounce
of strength I stretched out my neck and bit dose babies just as hard as
I could."
So the trainer exclaimed, "That's what finished him off!"*
"Vel, not really. You'd be amazed how strong you get ven you bite your
own nuts."
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