Why Men are Never Depressed

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FJRBluesman

Some call me... The STIG!
FJR Supporter
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**EDIT**

I did not write this but, as a suggestion from Bemmerdons, I added some forum members input in italics. Thank you.

Men Are Just Happier People-- Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can never be pregnant. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks and engines. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a ten -pack, should you opt to wear them (Fred W's input). Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You never have bra strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a penknife. You have the freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

Selective Hearing is a character trait. You can scratch wherever and whenever you want. Flatulence is considered "normal". Feelings....???? You won't have PMS or go through menopause (madmike2's input).

No wonder men are happier.

 
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........and a perfect reminder why pets are better life companions than men :p

 
........and a perfect reminder why pets are better life companions than men :p

why? pets don't fart??? :yahoo:

Alfredo
Yes, but the trade offs are:

they love to cuddle...........for hours.

they listen to you when you need to talk, attentively

they don't mind if you cry on their fur

when they annoy the **** out of you, you can put them in a crate or lock them outside til they get over it

they dont leave their clothes strewn on the floor

they dont put empty milk cartons back in the fridge

they may drink out of the toilet, but the seat is always down

they dont watch sports on tv

and that's just the start, shall I go on?

 
You can't have *** with pets! Oh wait...I've been on this forum too long to have assumed that. ;)
LMAO!!!!

But, in the 2 relationships I have had in my life, I couldn't have *** with my spouses either, so....I ain't missin anything I was gettin anywhere else

 
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........and a perfect reminder why pets are better life companions than men :p

why? pets don't fart??? :yahoo:

Alfredo
Yes, but the trade offs are:

they love to cuddle...........for hours.

they listen to you when you need to talk, attentively

they don't mind if you cry on their fur

when they annoy the **** out of you, you can put them in a crate or lock them outside til they get over it

they dont leave their clothes strewn on the floor

they dont put empty milk cartons back in the fridge

they may drink out of the toilet, but the seat is always down

they dont watch sports on tv

and that's just the start, shall I go on?
Sorry Bluesy, Miss Barb just made more work for you! You now need to once again amend your 1st post, reflecting the opposite of what barb wrote. For example: We hate to cuddle...for even 5 minutes!

 
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Sorry Bluesy, Miss Barb just made more work for you! You now need to once again amend your 1st post, reflecting the opposite of what barb wrote. For example: We hate to cuddle...for even 5 minutes!
Well, **** Don -- if'n we're gonna have Bluesy amend the list, there hasta be some mention about men not doing "bat **** crazy". Might not be as entertaining that way, but it's a whole lot easier on everyone's psyches (including the pets, who don't have to get wet with tears or endure the rumination monologue).

 
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Sorry Bluesy, Miss Barb just made more work for you! You now need to once again amend your 1st post, reflecting the opposite of what barb wrote. For example: We hate to cuddle...for even 5 minutes!
Well, **** Don -- if'n we're gonna have Bluesy amend the list, there hasta be some mention about men not doing "bat **** crazy". Might not be as entertaining that way, but it's a whole lot easier on everyone's psyches (including the pets, who don't have to get wet with tears or endure the rumination monologue).
Sorry... bat **** crazy goes both ways.

 
Sorry... bat **** crazy goes both ways.
I've known Bat **** Crazy. You, missy, clearly don't KNOW Bat **** Crazy. :p
Saludos exskibum, Your post was plainly not entirely clear to Mademoiselle Tyler, you wrote Bat **** Crazy! When the proper term, in the way you intended, should have been: BAT **** CRAZY!!!



 
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Sorry... bat **** crazy goes both ways.
I've known Bat **** Crazy. You, missy, clearly don't KNOW Bat **** Crazy. :p
Saludos exskibum, Your post was plainly not entirely clear to Mademoiselle Tyler, you wrote Bat **** Crazy! When the proper term, in the way you intended, should have been:

[SIZE=36pt]BAT **** CRAZY!!![/SIZE]
I stand partially corrected, Senor Chuy. I have also edited your version to more closely conform to the condition you and I mutually reference, but the red isn't quite angry enough . . . and can you make it flash at 6 cycles per second?

 
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