"I want you to enjoy your bike."

(I'm putting this here because this is the nearest I have to Faceoff or Whatsit, I don't know where else to put out my thoughts.)

Wifey is ill, seriously ill. She's been unwell for months. She's been to the doctor many times with various issues, some new, some historical. We don't know whether this latest problem has been building, undetected, over time.

A week or so ago, she woke up and was obviously very jaundiced. Since then she's undergone various blood tests, so far showing something wrong with her liver function. She is on the verge of needing to be in hospital, and we've been given awful warnings that if she shows any signs of deterioration, she is to go in instantly.

So we know there is something wrong with her liver or bile ducts. But we don't know what. The immediate symptoms are serious, if any worse they are potentially life-threatening.

Yesterday she was given a CT scan, tomorrow she is going in for an ERCP, an extended gastroscopy that goes into the duodenum, and they will probe into the bile ducts looking for a blockage.

Best outcome: they find a stone blocking a duct, and can deal with the stone during the procedure (possibly draw it out or break it up). Worst outcome: cancer of the liver, potentially fatal.

I am not asking for prayers (that would be hypocritical of me). None of you know her (or me, for that matter). Family is, of course, rallying round and is providing support to both of us, I'm just outpouring here.

I am more frightened than I've ever been in my life. After 47 years of marriage, the thought of losing her is devastating. I can't use my usual therapy of riding, I don't want to be away from her, so other than a bit of shopping, the bike stays in the garage.

She is normally very strong in any sort of crisis, but this time she is not, and is frequently in tears. Not so much for herself, but, as usual, she is very concerned about the support she gives to others, particularly for the immediate family - she is a model mother and grandmother - for her brother and sister, for the voluntary work she has been doing in the local Children's Hospital, and for me.

Amongst her first words to me when we realised how serious this might be: "Whatever happens, I want you to enjoy your bike."

Wow...really sorry to hear. Hope things work out for your wife and for you too.

This is as good a place as any to "outpour". I imagine most, if not all, folks who read this will be more than willing to send whatever positive thoughts, juju, mojo (even prayers) your wife's way, myself included. The magic of forums like this one is that we need never actually meet in person to become family. And family looks out for each other. Tell your wife one of your weird internet cousins is pulling for her!!

I am very sorry to hear of your family health issues. I sincerely hope for the more favorable possible diagnosis.

I am not likely to be out on my bike for at least a couple of more weeks - snow, ice, road salt and sand; not to mention temperatures still well below freezing. I will, however, make a point to think about you and your wife while enjoying my first ride of the season.

Best wishes...

I can only hope for the best for your wife and you. I think you are doing the most important thing that you can do for someone you love by just being there and being attentive. I know that when I was badly ill a couple of times, that I would have broken down emotionally had it not been for my wife's attention, care and understanding. Unfortunately, our women seem to be made of much stronger stuff than we men when it comes to dealing with emotional and stressful situations. We are often just not as able to provide the support that is needed. If/when I am called upon to help my wife through a serious illness, then I'll just try to do what I know she would do and has done for me. Hang in there mc. Be as positive, supportive and loving as you can be... that's the best you can do.

wnyfjr said:

This is as good a place as any to "outpour". I imagine most, if not all, folks who read this will be more than willing to send whatever positive thoughts, juju, mojo (even prayers) your wife's way, myself included. The magic of forums like this one is that we need never actually meet in person to become family. And family looks out for each other. Tell your wife one of your weird internet cousins is pulling for her!!

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+1 Well said, anytime you need to vent a bit on the forum we're hear to listen. There are a lot of internet cousins on your side.

Asked for or not, I'll be keeping you and your wife in my thoughts and prayers. We may not have met face to face and possibly never will but that doesn't stop many of us from feeling a kinship here that for so many today is lacking. Vent, pour out, bitch and complain if you want. We're all here for you as you are for so many of us.

Best of luck. Keep us posted.

Agreed,

Thoughts, prayers, JUJU or a colorful stick can do wonders for one's outcome. Please tell your lovely bride that all those hoodlums that you hang out with (thankfully only) on the internet are pulling for her. Add my JUJU to the collective.

We are here if ya need us.

Gregory

You can't keep that stuff bottle up inside. 'Talking' to sort-of strangers on this forum can be good therapy, and it can help keep your sanity. I can't imagine what you are going through but I can send good karma your way. You've got a strong lady.

Blessings to your wife, you and your family. What a wonderful women. Wishing you all the best outcome.

Mc,

While you are not asking for prayers, some of us will pray for your wife. I know I will.

Thank you for sharing, it gives us all a little perspective of the really important things in life--relationships

You outpour all you want mate. Hope all goes well for your wife and yourself.

Many, many good thoughts heading your way Mr McT. For your wife and for yourself.

Hoping for the very best.

As far as not knowing you, I feel I do. Ride reports and postings are sometimes all that's needed to get an idea of a Man

Just stay strong for each other. Positive thinking really helps. It's what got Deb and I through her cancer ordeal back in 2007. That and the love of friends.

Ahh, man oh man but I hate to hear this.

Bugnatr said:

wnyfjr said:

This is as good a place as any to "outpour". I imagine most, if not all, folks who read this will be more than willing to send whatever positive thoughts, juju, mojo (even prayers) your wife's way, myself included. The magic of forums like this one is that we need never actually meet in person to become family. And family looks out for each other. Tell your wife one of your weird internet cousins is pulling for her!!

Click to expand...

+1 Well said, anytime you need to vent a bit on the forum we're hear to listen. There are a lot of internet cousins on your side.

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This.

Add one more internet cousin on yer side.

Sorry to hear that mcatrophy.My best wishes for your wife and hope all goes well for her.

Amongst a very close group of friends with multiple belief systems, we've come to say we will jiggle our beads and mumble our associated prayers/well-wishes/hopes/etc. There's a very long history to it that has, over time, come to be expressed as simply, "mumbling and jiggling".

I'm mumbling and jiggling for her, McA

wnyfjr said:

This is as good a place as any to "outpour". I imagine most, if not all, folks who read this will be more than willing to send whatever positive thoughts, juju, mojo (even prayers) your wife's way, myself included. The magic of forums like this one is that we need never actually meet in person to become family. And family looks out for each other. Tell your wife one of your weird internet cousins is pulling for her!!

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+1

We may not know you personally but you share a passion we all do so we understand in some strange kind of way. You felt compelled to share with us for that very reason.

Prayers for you and your loved ones.

Prayers your way ... Best to your family ...

And thank you for saying what you did .. Everyone here is old enough and been around long enough to have some experience with these things ... Keep us posted as you see fit so we can keep you in our thoughts ...

Regards ...

MCA - I'm very saddened by this news. I've been a member of the "love, honor and in some cases obey" club for 30 years. I sincerely hope for the very best outcome possible. And I want you to hope too - with all of your being. I'm a man of science. Born, bred, and raised to think logically above all else. But in my maturity, I've come to accept some things I do not understand. One such thing is the undeniable power of positive thinking. There was a time when I had to know how and why it works before I would accept it. That time has passed. Now for some things, I'm willingly able to accept that they work without question.

Please tell you wife to stay strong and positive. Do what they tell her to do. Do not dismay until it's time to do that. They don't know what's wrong, and just because of that, neither of you should assume the worst. Rather, assume the best.

One day I shall go to the United Kingdom. When I do, I hope that you and I can share a pint, my friend.