A LITTLE PSYCH 101 HELP

[galxy5]

lot's been said that makes me ask if one of her friends is pregnant , and she is taking out her jealousy on you ?? one possibility ,, I also agree that in most casses when the blame game starts they are hiding something ,, is she in debt and you don't know it ,, is there some outside influence ,, like her best friend that recently broke up with her man or got dumped ,, you are aware that some people just can't be happy ,, and if they aren't you won't be for long ,, one last thing from me ,, you know the bike is like another woman ,, you give it attention when you work on it ,, loves it when you give it a good ride ,, you spend money on it ,, and time with it ,, if you have not included her in your bike fettish you need to take her on a long ride in the country ,, stop at a bed n breakfast ,, and like Otis Redding said ,, show her some tenderness ,,

 

[nusman68]

-Damn dude! Sorry to hear about all that! I sympathize, as a fellow paramedic with one 'practice marriage' (as one of my former-cop-now-paramedic coworkers calls it! ) behind me. My current wife still worries a bit while I'm on duty, because my partner is almost always female/we work 24 shifts. She jokes about it but there is a serious undertone... you already know that cops/firefighters/paramedics run much higher rates of divorce compared to the general population; you got the double whammy since both of you are in public service. <_< ...from my perspective it sounds like she has been unhappy long term, wants out, but doesn't have the balls to pull the plug; she would rather make your life miserable hoping you'll step up and do her dirty work. Or, maybe she's screwing around, feeling guilty and is trying to assuage her guilt through her hostile outbursts at you...

Your choices seem simple:

1) Pull the plug/its over/get on down the road/ you'll feel a great relief and less stress when its all behind you.

~0r~

2) Have a serious talk with her: private place/no distractions/no phones/no pagers/off duty. Ask her straight up if she really wants out. If she says yes, refer to #1; once a woman makes up her mind on such an issue, that's it. If she says no, now the ball is in your court. See if she'll (both of you) go for counseling; tell her you're miserable/obviously so is she/this isn't what you want long term. If she balks, rips your head off, starts bitching/ranting, blaming you for everything, refer to #1. If she agrees to counseling, don't procrastinate, set it up, do it; give it an honest shot...if the counselor's opinion is that it's hopeless (most if them have enough integrity to tell you this rather than waste your time & money) refer to #1...

Good luck/vent off anytime

 

[evil_henchman]

Most of us have been where you're at. It sucks. It's lucky for you the psycho ***** came out before you ruined your life completely.

Here's what I think is going: She want's out but she want's you to be the bad guy who calls it off over something stupid like a skating ticket. That way she saves face with her friends and family. Also some people are just ********, no further psych analysis needed. She sounds like one of them. She's definately working in the right field.

Get out, get your life back, and don't even try to be friends, it would be wasted effort as she obviously has zero respect for you.

I wouldn't waste time making accusations about ice skating or anything else. And make sure everybody who matters to you knows it was her ****** behavior that ended it, not you.

 

[zzkenoman]

Try removing "Fiancee" in front of her name, and see if she changes to herself

 

[Colin24]

After reading this whole thread I have two thoughts

1) The original posting was bait. In which case ignore point 2.

2) If she's like this when she's your fiance what the H$## do you think marriage will be like? Run, do not walk away from this tinderbox of random negative emotions as fast as you possibly can!

 

[evilmedic13]

Thanks for all the help guys and girls. We had the talk yesterday and got a lot straightened out, a lot of misconceptions on her part and few on mine. Things seem okay for now,don't worry i WILL be keeping my eyes open for another flashover,and if it does happen again I'm gone,no need to put up w/ this for the rest of whatever. I'm only getting married once, i promised myself that and refuse to break promises to anyone,especially me!

That's why I'm 35 w/ no kids or divorces behind me,well, one kid but that turned into a maury episode(not literally). After 5yrs of supporting the cute little red head that called me daddy, her mommy decided to get her free shots and thought in order for them to be free she had to play poor abandoned single mom and told them i WASN'T supporting my obligations.I made $1500 take home a month and gave her $500 amonth for my "daughter"!!! well,state services sends me a little court appearance notice and off to 2 dna tests and courtrooms I go. I NEVER denied her as my daughter,kept up w/ support to the point of almost having my truck repo'd and becoming homeless at the same time! Needless to say dna now stands for Does Not Apply, so trust me me on tis one I AM wary of women. I still miss that little girl though,she'll turn 18 in4yrs and i'm sure mommy NEVER had the class or guts to anybody the truth,so I'll be waiting for that knock on the door one day and i'l finally be able to let her know not ALL men are scumbags and DO follow through w/ their obligations in life. :feminist_en:

 

[Toecutter]

I'm only getting married once, i promised myself that and refuse to break promises to anyone,especially me!

Be careful of those promises. I did that the last time around. Promised myself I'd stay in that one if it killed me. One morning about 3am it damn near did. Being that close to the edge made me realize that life was worth it, and survival was paramount. Needless to say, sacrifices had to be made. Always keep an escape route open, and watch yer back!

 

[Scab]

I'm only getting married once, i promised myself that and refuse to break promises to anyone,especially me!

Be careful of those promises. I did that the last time around. Promised myself I'd stay in that one if it killed me. One morning about 3am it damn near did. Being that close to the edge made me realize that life was worth it, and survival was paramount. Needless to say, sacrifices had to be made. Always keep an escape route open, and watch yer back!

+1

Like I told the last one, "I would die for you, but I should never die because of you"

 

[evilmedic13]

I'm only getting married once, i promised myself that and refuse to break promises to anyone,especially me!

Be careful of those promises. I did that the last time around. Promised myself I'd stay in that one if it killed me. One morning about 3am it damn near did. Being that close to the edge made me realize that life was worth it, and survival was paramount. Needless to say, sacrifices had to be made. Always keep an escape route open, and watch yer back!

+1

Like I told the last one, "I would die for you, but I should never die because of you"

I wholeheartedly agree w/ both of you on this one. I said I'm only getting married once,not I'm staying if it kills me!

 

[MyOwnRocket]

Just remember folks, relationship / marriage is about compromise;

she tells you how its gona be and you compromise...

 

[evil_henchman]

:jerry: :jerry: :jerry:

Looks like we've been had :lol:

 

[Mike-H]

MyOwnRocket....very nice swing on the last word....I salute you oh "Master Of The Last Word".....nice style