Surly
Well-known member
In the great days of the British Empire, a new commanding officer was sent to a South African bush outpost to relieve the retiring colonel.
After welcoming his replacement and indulging the usual courtesies (gin and tonic, cucumber sandwiches etc.) that protocol decrees, the retiring colonel said, "You must meet my Adjutant, Captain Smithers. He is my right-hand man and is really the strength of this command. His talents are simply boundless."
Smithers was summoned and introduced to the new CO, who was surprised to meet a hunch-backed, one-eyed, toothless, hairless, scabbed and pock-marked specimen of humanity, a particularly unattractive man less than one metre tall.
"Smithers, old man, tell your new CO about yourself."
''Well, sir, I graduated with honours from Sandhurst, joined the regiment and won the Military Cross and Bar after three expeditions behind enemy lines. I have represented Great Britain in equestrian events and won a Silver Medal in the middleweight boxing division of the Olympics. I have researched the history of....."
At that point, the colonel interrupted, "Yes, yes, never mind that Smithers. He can find all that in your file. Tell him about the day you told the witch doctor to f--k off.
After welcoming his replacement and indulging the usual courtesies (gin and tonic, cucumber sandwiches etc.) that protocol decrees, the retiring colonel said, "You must meet my Adjutant, Captain Smithers. He is my right-hand man and is really the strength of this command. His talents are simply boundless."
Smithers was summoned and introduced to the new CO, who was surprised to meet a hunch-backed, one-eyed, toothless, hairless, scabbed and pock-marked specimen of humanity, a particularly unattractive man less than one metre tall.
"Smithers, old man, tell your new CO about yourself."
''Well, sir, I graduated with honours from Sandhurst, joined the regiment and won the Military Cross and Bar after three expeditions behind enemy lines. I have represented Great Britain in equestrian events and won a Silver Medal in the middleweight boxing division of the Olympics. I have researched the history of....."
At that point, the colonel interrupted, "Yes, yes, never mind that Smithers. He can find all that in your file. Tell him about the day you told the witch doctor to f--k off.
Last edited by a moderator:
