Ah..Canadian Humor (oldie but a goodie)

[Niehart]

Siamese twins walk into a bar in Canada and park themselves on a bar stool. One of them says to the bartender, "Don't mind us; we're joined at the hip. I'm John, he's Jim. Two Molson Canadian beers, draft please."

The bartender, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite conversation while pouring the beers. "Been on holiday yet, lads?"

"Off to England next month," says John. "We go to England every year, rent a car and drive for miles. Don't we, Jim?"

Jim agrees.

"Ah, England!" says the bartender. "Wonderful country ... The history, the beer, the culture ..."

"Nah, we don't like that British crap," says John. "Hamburgers and Molson's beer, that's us, hey Jim? And we can't stand the English - they're so arrogant and rude."

"So why keep going to England ?" asks the bartender.

"It's the only chance Jim gets to drive."

 

[dcarver]

Ok, fell off the right-hand cliff into that one!

 

[Bustanut joker]

They be yamafitters neighbors.

 

[wheatonFJR]

They be yamafitters neighbors.

The smarter ones.

 

[beemerdons]

Oh Boy, a new Rob Ford video; Beauty, eh!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5fHDaNQtmac

 

[beemerdons]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sfdoLedAWWg

 

[yamafitter]

They be yamafitters neighbors.

The smarter ones.

If you were so God damn smart you would know how to use the Queen's English and spell neighbours properly.

 

[RaYzerman19]

On the sixth day, God turned to Archangel Gabriel and said, "Today I am going to create a land called Canada. It will be a land of outstanding natural beauty. It shall have tall majestic mountains full of mountain goats and eagles, beautiful sparkling lakes bountiful with bass and trout, forests full of elk and moose, high cliffs over-looking sandy beaches with an abundance of sea life, and rivers stocked with salmon."

God continued, "I shall make the land rich in resources so as to make the inhabitants prosper, I shall call these inhabitants Canadians, and they shall be known as the most friendly people on the earth."

But Lord," asked Gabriel, "don't you think you are being too generous to these Canadians?"

"Not really," replied God.. "Just wait and see the winters I am going to give them!" (he meant Bungie……)

 

[Bustanut joker]

They be yamafitters neighbors.

The smarter ones.

If you were so God damn smart you would know how to use the Queen's English and spell neighbours properly.

Juan is mexican and lives next door. If I used the Queens English on him he'd get pissed off and likely stab me.

 

[wheatonFJR]

They be yamafitters neighbors.

The smarter ones.

If you were so God damn smart you would know how to use the Queen's English and spell neighbours properly.

Canadians are so cute when they're angry...If you queens in Canada want to use a C in defense and U in neighbor, what do I care. I know what you mean, anyway, eh?

 

[yamafitter]

What really pisses me off is when I go into an "English" pub in the States and get one of those puny 16 oz glasses when I order a pint. A pint is 20 oz dammit. Stop trying to rip me off. Rob Ford would never put up with this.

 

[HotRodZilla]

I don't get it?? How in the Hell is a Canadian pint 20oz? They have to be 16oz because 'a pint is a pound the world round.' ****...If I hadn't of known that, I woulda failed a lot of math tests!

 

[ionbeam]

I don't get it?? How in the Hell is a Canadian pint 20oz? They have to be 16oz because 'a pint is a pound the world round.' ****...If I hadn't of known that, I woulda failed a lot of math tests!

The Canadian Pint has been hanging out with the British Imperial Gallon. To continue confusing units of measure, so far there hasn't been much mention of a yard of beer.

 

[HotRodZilla]

Or a Baker's Dozen!

 

[NBB]

Or maybe the 20oz glass is used to actually get 16oz of beverage with that corporate pour with an inch or better of HEAD..

 

[HotRodZilla]

Or maybe the 20oz glass is used to actually get 16oz of beverage with that corporate pour with an inch or better of HEAD..

There you go. **** up the thread by trying to make sense. I swear, some of youse guys!!

 

[wheatonFJR]

I don't get it?? How in the Hell is a Canadian pint 20oz? They have to be 16oz because 'a pint is a pound the world round.' ****...If I hadn't of known that, I woulda failed a lot of math tests!

The Canadian Pint has been hanging out with the British Imperial Gallon. To continue confusing units of measure, so far there hasn't been much mention of a yard of beer.

PINTGLASS

I may have read wrong, but in yrupean countries I think they just go with the 500mL serving.

Don't know...plan to find out some day for myself.

 

[beemerdons]

I don't get it?? How in the Hell is a Canadian pint 20oz? They have to be 16oz because 'a pint is a pound the world round.' ****...If I hadn't of known that, I woulda failed a lot of math tests!

The Canadian Pint has been hanging out with the British Imperial Gallon. To continue confusing units of measure, so far there hasn't been much mention of a yard of beer.

PINTGLASS

I may have read wrong, but in yrupean countries I think they just go with the 500mL serving.

Don't know...plan to find out some day for myself.

Herr Wheatie, machen sie die Mund zu bitte! If you are im Deutschland and try to order a 500ml serving of Dunkels or Pilsner the big titted bar maid will slap the living **** out of you, nicht wahr! Either go for a full liter Stein or go home, Auslander! 500ml, ein grosses Dumkopf! Don't piss Herr Petey off!

 

[wheatonFJR]

"A pint glass is a form of Drinkware made to hold either a British ("imperial") pint of 20 imperial fluid ounces (568 mL) or an American pint of 16 US fluid ounces (473 mL). These glasses are used predominantly to serve beer."

I didn't know the Deutscher glasses were 2 pints...

I think I'd rather order by the pint.