Brothers, Please give me strength

[Auburn]

One of the best things you can do for the kids is to take care of yourself and no matter how hard it gets, alwaysshow respect for mom. The one thing that kids will remember is how each of you treated each other, etc. Maybe

not so much now because of their ages but as they get older, they will remember.

Wish you the best . . .

:nuetral: :nuetral:

BTDT once. Same advice as many...get an attorney who is working for your benefit...but know when to say enough and settle. Otherwise they will keep fighting (and charging $$$$). You don't want to be blindsided in court and lose more than your shirt.

The best thing that happened now 20 years later, is when my son (I adopted her son when he was 3) thanked me for being there when she wasn't.

I never spoke badly of her in front of him.

I went through something similar, my parents divorced when I was 2. I only saw my dad a few times through the years. It wasn't because he didn't wnat to see my brother and I. It was because my mom wouldn't let him. I didn't get to know him until I was in my mid 20's. Once I learned the other side of the story, it has made me feel sorry for my mom. It has strained my relationship with her. On the other hand, my stepdad was the greatest. It is beacuse of him, that I turned out as I did.

He taught me one thing that I made sure to pass on to my son. That was I made sure that if I said I would be there or do thtat with hm, I did. The most satisfying thing was when he thanked me for being there and that he could count on me. I guess she let him down a few times.

One final thought, there will be someone out there for you. Probably when you are not looking at all is when you will find her. My second is the one I wish I had found first, execpt I wouldn't have the son I have if I had. But the experience of being torn apart by the first one made me a better person.

We hear you and feel for you. Good thoughts and prayers going your way.

 

[Silver Penguin]

What a sad situation. I admire you for taking the high road, and not airing your dirty linen here. Sorry, no sage advice to offer, just a willing listener/reader. Thoughts and prayers for your, and the kids' future, going out to you.

Jill

 

[feejer222]

If it's of any comfort, I went through a bad divorce. Emotionally and financially. I am happy to say that 10 years on I am re-married to a far better woman than I ever imagined I would find. Our only regret is that we did not meet sooner. I hope that you have a happy ending to your tale. Hang on in there, it's not all doom and gloom, and life does go on, eventually. I think it's up to you how soon that happens. The longer that you hang on to bitter thoughts, the longer you are cheating yourself out of enjoying life.

 

[raclow]

Lots of good advice here. Sorry to hear this is happening. Hang in there and we'll be praying for you and your family.

 

[Checkswrecks]

Sorry to hear what you are going through. We have a son graduating high school and sat through a series of kids giving talks about their lives last night. A couple would've interested you. The long story short was that the divorce hurt when they saw their role models and all-knowing parents suddenly not have all the answers as their worlds came apart. But what was interesting was where each learned to find strength. I figured it would have been from the more involved parent or one that they lived with (not always the same) but it wasn't.

They mostly talked instead about the extra-curricular groups they hung with, be it the foot-ball players or the church youth group. Every one of them also related that there was some non-adult adult who got involved, too, although it seemed that most came back to at least one parent. We parents later realized how kids went up or down with the groups they associated with and that the ones who did best usually came back to the parent who took the high road.

While I'm sure you want to pull your kids close, it may help to make sure they are now more than ever hanging with the kinds of people you want them to.

Just an observation.

Bob

 

[Low Level FJR Pilot]

Malve, if you need anything let me know. I would not in a million years want to be in the position you find yourself in. Prayers man.