Corrupting gift for 18 y/o

[exskibum]

Something about 'Zilla's apparent familiarity with the topic had me imagining Ben Rumson (Lee Marvin) corrupting the Mormon Fentys' son, Horton, in "Paint Your Wagon":


Ben Rumson: You mean to tell me you ain't never had a woman neither?
Horton: No, sir.
Ben Rumson: This is serious. You know you could go blind? Come here.
[to 'Rotten Luck' Willie]
Ben Rumson: Willie, if a young man was goin' trappin' for the first time and wanted a guide, somebody who would be patient with him and show him the way things are to be done; what kind of guide would you choose?
'Rotten Luck' Willie: [Thinking] Ah, that would be Gracie.

_____________________________________


Mr. Fenty: Horton, how did that bottle get in your pocket? HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN DRINKING HARD LIQUOR?
Horton: Well, since this afternoon. I know you don't approve, Pop, but believe me, until you've had a good cigar and a shot of whiskey, you're missing the second and third best things in life.
Rumson: Horton!
Pardner: Where'd you take him, Ben?
Elizabeth: Damn you, Ben Rumson. What are you going to teach this boy next? How to cheat at cards, or just physical education with one of Willie's floozies?
Horton: That's the best one, Pop!
Rumson: Horton!
Elizabeth: Is that what you did today, Ben?
Rumson: That's what *he* did today, Elizabeth! I tell you, that boy's got a talent for dissipation that is absolutely unique!
[Horton beams]

 

[Sportster]

Well, I'm not so corrupting as to buy street pharmaceuticals for the kid. I'm mostly wanting to make the kid and his parents blush, but not hate me. A fine line I'm not always able to walk. So I settled on "Esquirre", "Maxium", a 3 pack of assorted condoms, and the gun range gift card. As I was only able to think of the gun range on my own, I'd say y'alls input is a success!

Thank You, Sportster

 

[beemerdons]

Twenty Eighty years ago, no one would have dignified your post with a response.

Adjusted for accuracy.

I'm pretty sure that forty fifty (some) years ago, when I turned 18, I'd have loved the hell out of most any of the suggestions, myself. Not ALL, but most. Suspect times haven't changed so much in that respect.

Sportster, does he have a drum set yet?

Fixed.

 

[beemerdons]

Well, I'm not so corrupting as to buy street pharmaceuticals for the kid. I'm mostly wanting to make the kid and his parents blush, but not hate me. A fine line I'm not always able to walk. So I settled on "Esquirre", "Maxium", a 3 pack of assorted condoms, and the gun range gift card. As I was only able to think of the gun range on my own, I'd say y'alls input is a success!

Thank You, Sportster

You did good Uncle Sportster, if you guys lived closer to Phoenix I could have lent you a burro. jes' sayin' and nuff' said!

 

[majicmaker]

I'm staying out of this one. What I had in mind would send both me and the kid straight to Hell. It would be a most enjoyable journey though and we'll have drinks with Bust and his friends!!

 

[networkguy]

Sexting seems to be popular with the kids these days.Maybe something along those lines?

 

[bluesdog]

I was going to suggest something along the lines of co-ed naked skydiving...