Dad

[dcarver]

Having just lost my Pops April 21, 2014...

You are on the right track. I took the time, and now even that time seems too short.

Sincerest good thoughts and prayers your way.

Edited to correct date. (Thank You Gary!)

 

[Goodman4]

Thanks for posting this. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your dad as you prepare to deal with his health problems. I really appreciate the positive things you guys are saying about your fathers. I think men of character find ways to overlook the small flaws of their fathers and let respect, honor and love win out as the emotions that prevail.

I started this post before I realized what day it was. Hadn't thought about it until tonight, but I got the call that dad had fallen off the barn roof exactly 14 years ago today. I still think about calling him for advice on something about once a week even now. I ride in a big part because he loved motorcycles and he always liked that my brother and I rode. This spring I went to the Barber Museum in Birmingham and loved seeing the early 1940's W series Harley like he rode.

I think one of the things I am most thankful for in my life other than my family and my faith is that I got to build a relationship with my Dad after getting out of high school. Growing up we weren't very close and I couldn't do anything to please him. But once he retired and was able to reduce his stress, he became a different person. We got to know each other really well and I think I made him proud. I sure miss him.

Maybe I'm just sad tonight from these posts, or maybe I just want to echo the importance of the advice given to cherish the time with the fathers in your lives. There's time to continue building or even rebuild.

 

[SoCalFJR1300]

Lost my Dad when I was 13, my 91 year old Mom who lives with me raised me by herself after that.

Nice to hear you and your Dad got along well, that's not always the case in a lot of familys.

I wasn't too bad a teen but I did run wild there a little and think I caused Mom to lose some sleep some nights when I came home late!

 

[Chiefblueman]

Thanks for posting this. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your dad as you prepare to deal with his health problems. I really appreciate the positive things you guys are saying about your fathers. I think men of character find ways to overlook the small flaws of their fathers and let respect, honor and love win out as the emotions that prevail.
I started this post before I realized what day it was. Hadn't thought about it until tonight, but I got the call that dad had fallen off the barn roof exactly 14 years ago today. I still think about calling him for advice on something about once a week even now. I ride in a big part because he loved motorcycles and he always liked that my brother and I rode. This spring I went to the Barber Museum in Birmingham and loved seeing the early 1940's W series Harley like he rode.

I think one of the things I am most thankful for in my life other than my family and my faith is that I got to build a relationship with my Dad after getting out of high school. Growing up we weren't very close and I couldn't do anything to please him. But once he retired and was able to reduce his stress, he became a different person. We got to know each other really well and I think I made him proud. I sure miss him.

Maybe I'm just sad tonight from these posts, or maybe I just want to echo the importance of the advice given to cherish the time with the fathers in your lives. There's time to continue building or even rebuild.

Goodman, thanks for your sentiments. Some of my Dad's flaws have been huge, my family life growing up was rocky for me and my sibs. It took me a long time to realize that after all is said and done, my Dad was just a man not a superhero. The issues I struggled with as a young man paled in comparison to what Dad experienced. I came to believe that he did the best he could with the tools he had at the time. I have siblings who cannot come to this realization, the bitterness is theirs to carry and is only painful.. I choose to look at the attributes of this just-a-man rather than dwell on the flaws and the distant past. I only hope my own children can come to this place and move forward. So far I'm batting .500 with them.

When I'm not around Dad, sometimes I feel sad. Funny thing, when I'm with him I'm happy and don't really think negatively. He's just my Pop and he's still here.

Thanks to all for responding. I can't tell you how much it means to me. Does me good to express myself and be understood by so many.

 

[majicmaker]

Ohhhh Yeah, Chief. It wasn't all rose pedals with dad. But, as so many of us have learned along the way, the older you get, the more you agreed with him on so many things and start to realize that, he was just winging it just like we did. He was my best friend when I was 5 years old. He still is and he laughs at all the crap I had to go through with my son. He's 32 now and he isn't mad at me anymore for "keeping him on the straight and narrow". It's the circle of life!

 

[Fred W]

Regardless of his age, there is nothing quite as gratifying to a boy as the approval of his father.

 

[majicmaker]

Regardless of his age, there is nothing quite as gratifying to a boy as the approval of his father.

True!

 

[Chiefblueman]

Regardless of his age, there is nothing quite as gratifying to a boy as the approval of his father.

True!

Yep.Being around my Dad makes me feel like a kid again.

 

[erixun]

Cherish the days, lost my dad in 01'. I think of him often and miss him daily. All the best-

 

[Redfish Hunter]

We lost my GrandMother to Dementia/Alzheimers a couple of years ago. Even though we knew it was coming, that visit when you realize they don't recognize you any more... It is impossible to describe how that feels. When your mother/father/grandparent, the person that you knew would love you forever suddenly does not even know who you are, it is devastating. At first she just had trouble remembering our names but she still "knew" us and was still thrilled we were there. Then, slowly, she no longer cared that we were there at all.

Before she was too far gone, while she still recognized us, her short term memory was gone. She would ask the same question every 15 seconds for as many hours as we would stay. "Would you like some coffee?" 15 seconds later, "Would you like some coffee?". The strange and truly wonderful part of it was that her early memories seemed more sharp and clear than ever. The stories she told about her childhood during The Great Depression were so vivid and real...

I try to believe that this type of disease is easy on the patient. I try to believe that at least there is no physical pain, no chemo, no surgeries, just a slow descent into a peaceful oblivion.

I can tell you that it is very difficult on the caregiver. You will suffer far more than your father will. Stay strong and know that you have friends here. Some of us have been through this and can be there for you.