So I show up and meet the crew for bfast, and then onto the show. Barabus has the foresight to sign some of us up for test rides of the various bikes, but I am too busy hunting for a heated vest for the missus, and my demo ride slot (an MV Agusta Brutale) goes to someone else. Sigh....Achiu and I head across the way for what turns out to be a great Banh Mi (that's a Vietnamese pork sandwich). Fat and happy, we stroll back to the demo sign up to try out our luck.
Marcus scores the big Triumph Explorer 1200.
But lookie...over there...just to Marcus' right. A Tuono RSV4.
That's a 400 lb bike being pushed by 167 horsies.
"Hudson, party of one, your bike is ready, Hudson?"
The ride leader rounds us up and gives the standard safety lecture, then comes over to me.
"Ever ridden an Aprilia?" he asks.
"No, but I've read the articles and I know what I'm getting myself into."
"No, you really don't" he says.
"You probably won't get out of first gear."
We head out on a very tame route, and while I managed to get into second, it's a damn good thing I didn't get a solo demo. This bike is insane. Stump pulling power. The sound of this bike is close to an F1 car's exhaust note. During the ride, I find myself goosing it just to hear the sound. What a wonderful sound! What an abso-feckin-lootely raucus, "screw you Lynwood and your noise ordinances too" sound. If you twist the throttle, and you don't quickly get a stiffie, you need to go see your doctor. Now. Cause you're nearly dead.
I pull up to Achiu and look over at him as he shouts
"How's the Tuono?".
I just giggle like a little schoolgirl.
This bike will eat anything it sees. ZX14s, Ducatis, and yes even FJRs. Ferraris, Porsches.
Then it will keep eating...your license, your good insurance rating, and probably your credit score. The Tuono is insatiable.
I get back to the show, back to reality, and back to the FJR. I'm pretty sure I've grown a few chest hairs, sideburns, and probably other hairs too. Are you bald or balding? Put down that bottle of rogaine and get over to an Aprilia dealer and take a Tuono out for a test drive. You'll come home with a mane of flowing locks. It's that manly.
Heading out to Sultan for a few hours of riding in the rain, I goose the FJR just before the rain sets in. It's no longer fast, but merely quick.
Fast will have to be reserved for the Hooligan bike.