Heet:
I've ridden a 2003 FJR for a 1000-in-24 ride two summers ago, then bought a 2nd hand low mileage 2007 and promptly rode it home (1600 miles in two days). Neither bike gave me handling problems. I do know that some of the low speed lurching was because of CDI module issues if the elevation change was over 1000 feet during the ride..
Secondly, I also know that the "Tank Slapper" issue was related to large trunks being installed along with the side bags. (This problem is related to the Honda ST1300 tank slapper problems encountered by Police cycles. It appears that the size & weight of the trunk changes the center of gravity thereby making the front wheel unstable at speed.
Might I suggest removing the trunk and test ride it again..
If those suggestions yield no successes, I'd recommend selling the bike and get one you like.
One last comment.. I've been looking for the perfect bike for over 9 years... I've ridden Goldwing 1500s & 1800s, BMW K1200LTs and R1150RTs, Yamaha Venture Royale ('92) plus Suzuki GSes and VStroms. The bigger bikes were too heavy for extended rides that comprised of frequent stops and lack of fuel range. The smaller bikes were much nicer handling, but the load capacities were limited and the horsepower was somewhat limited. So after riding various friend's bikes and renting some and test riding dealer bikes, the FJR was my final choice due to handling, horsepower and fuel range.
I've not taken it on a long, camping trip, but will know more this summer.
Nevertheless, I wish you the best in "finding your ideal bike".
Herb <mtngoat>