Funny ebay GSXR For Sale Post

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I think 'Wingnut' has just been added to the list of words in the Oxford Dictionary.....this person would seem to be a prime example of a 'wingnut'

 
He's got a cool sense of humor. For posterity (ebay postings expire), here's the description:

2008 Suzuki GSXR 1000 750 600 Motorcycle Not Girly

Motorcycle for sale

What kind of Motorcycle? I don't know, I'm not a

bike scientist. What I am though is a manly guy looking to sell his bike. This

bike is made out of metal screws and non-girly plastic. The back reflectors were

taken off, but if you think that deters me from riding at night, you're way

wrong. I practiced ninja training in Japan's mount Fuji for 5 years and the

first rule they teach about ninja biking is that back reflectors let the enemy

know where you are. Not having a rear reflector is like saying "JUST TRY AND

FIND ME". I put my formula on the side of this bike GSXR (Girly

Sensitivity x Ramifications), it keeps girly men from riding it due to the

consequences. I bought this bike for $12,000 dollars from a retired mercenary

that fought in both World War 1 and World War 2 and had his right arm bitten off

by a shark in the Phillipines while stationed there as a shark handler. When he

sold it to me I had to arm wrestle him for the honor to buy it. I broke his arm

in 7 places when I did. He was so impressed with me he offered me to be his son

but I thought that was sissy so I said no way. The bike has some rusted

screws, but that just shows how much of a rad rider you are. Everyone knows

rusted screws on a bike means that you probably drove it underwater and that's

rad in itself. Those screws can be replaced with shiny new ones, but only girls

like shiny things.I've topped out at 175 miles per hour on this uphill

but if you're just a regular man you'll probably top it out at 80 miles per hour

going downhill. This thing is listed as a street bike which is man-code for bike

tank. The bike has 5 speeds in total: Gear 1 - Sissy Gear Gear 2 -

Less Sissy Gear Gear 3 - Boy Gear Gear 4 - Pre-teen Boy Gear Gear 5

- Manly Gear I only like gear 5 to be honest. Additionally, this

tool of all immense maniliness comes with a gigantic lock to keep it secure. The

lock is the size of a bull's testicles and tells people you don't mess around

with locking up your bike tank. It tells would-be-thieves "Hey, touch this bike

and I'll appear from the bushes ready to club you with a two-by-four with my

sweet ninja skills". I'm willing to part with this symbol of manliness,

make me a an irresistible offer. I will personally hand deliver this over to you

so you may have a shinning example of what you too may become.

Here are the questions and answers:

[SIZE=10pt]Q: [/SIZE][SIZE=10pt]This bike seems like it is made of manliness. I need to know if it comes with lasers or wooden sticks to help me fight the continuous stream of super ninjas that attack me.[/SIZE][SIZE=10pt]Nov-05-08[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]A: [/SIZE][SIZE=10pt]sounds like you have some Ninja Issues, if you purchase this bike i will personally guarantee your safety against these "super Ninjas"[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]Q: [/SIZE][SIZE=10pt]awwwweee[/SIZE][SIZE=10pt]Nov-05-08[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]A: [/SIZE][SIZE=10pt]tooobleee[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]Q: [/SIZE][SIZE=10pt]slight typo on the price? unless its made of gold & diamonds Nick[/SIZE][SIZE=10pt]Nov-04-08[/SIZE][SIZE=10pt][/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt][/SIZE]A: [SIZE=10pt]not made of gold or diamonds, such things are shiny, and i tend to shy away from shiny things because they are girly.. Just a manly bike with a manly price.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]Q: [/SIZE][SIZE=10pt]Dear super ninja, I too have trained in Japan and was deemed the title "Ninja Swimming Fish" because of my supreme under water abilities. I only ride submerged so the rusty screws will not hinder my supreme view of this bike. I do wonder, though, if this amazing bike comes equipped a snorkel system. It is absolutely necessary to my enjoying this bike. At this price, I thought it might. Thanks you for your prompt answer to this all important question, brother ninja! I'm also interested to know if it is equipped with a tele-porting system so I can transport to different places invisibly. That would be super ninja sweet![/SIZE][SIZE=10pt]Nov-03-08[/SIZE][SIZE=10pt][/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt][/SIZE]A: [SIZE=10pt]Dear Swimming Fish Ninja, This bike does include the snorkel device and i'll even throw in an oxygen tank so you may stay down as long as you want. as far as the tele-porting system, Everyone knows only the Canadian government has the technology to do such things.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]Q: [/SIZE][SIZE=10pt]also mr ninja boy, over here in the UK we have an extra gear: Gear 1 - Sissy Gear Gear 2 - Less Sissy Gear Gear 3 - Boy Gear Gear 4 - Pre-teen Boy Gear Gear 5 - Manly Gear Gear 6 - Big Balls Gear[/SIZE][SIZE=10pt]Nov-02-08[/SIZE][SIZE=10pt][/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt][/SIZE]A: [SIZE=10pt]Thank you for pointing this out to me, i have forgot to list this all important gear.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]Q: [/SIZE][SIZE=10pt]Dear ninja man just wanted to let you know this gsxr 1000 has a 6th gear it is called extreme manly gear. I also have to disagree that 1st gear is sissy gear considering you can hit 102mph at red line and has so much torque that it can easily flip a manly man like yourself over backwards right off the bike. Though i have not flipped off the back i have mastered the art of the 12 o'clock balance point. Signed,Gear Maser[/SIZE][SIZE=10pt]Nov-02-08[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]A: [/SIZE][SIZE=10pt]Dear Gear Maser, I unfortunately did forget to mention that 6th gear, and will include it in any future publications on this bike. as for Sissy gear, i am no circus clown, and the bike is manly enough that i don't have a need to show off it's undercarriage. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]Q: [/SIZE][SIZE=10pt]hello ninja man, i see you are from the USA, and was wondering if your manly bike as ever been round a corner cause I hear you only have straights there, over here in the UK we have things called corners, bends, apexes[/SIZE][SIZE=10pt]Nov-02-08[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]A: [/SIZE][SIZE=10pt]Dear Road Scientist, I appreciate your teachings of these "corners, bends, apexes". However the 2nd thing taught during my Ninja training in Japan's Mt. Fuji is, "where you've been should be just as much a mystery as where your going". so as i respect your learned title, the roads this bike has traveled shall remain a mystery to all but the owner.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]Q: [/SIZE][SIZE=10pt]If you get 99,800 for this bike, you are the man... or woman[/SIZE][SIZE=10pt]Nov-02-08[/SIZE][SIZE=10pt][/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt][/SIZE]A: [SIZE=10pt]If i sell this it will be a sad day parting with it.. as far as man... or woman.. im assuming you've read the history of this bike and all that it stands for.. you could probably assume my gender. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]Q: [/SIZE][SIZE=10pt]Ninja Boy, I am curious. If I were to purchase said bike-tank, can you personally guarantee not only that my genitalia would extend in length, but in girth as well? I am not interested in the bike-tank unless it will for-certain address both issues. I thank you for your time.[/SIZE][SIZE=10pt]Nov-02-08[/SIZE][SIZE=10pt][/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt][/SIZE]A: [SIZE=10pt]Sorry, No guarantee, this bike is manly, not God[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]Q: [/SIZE][SIZE=10pt]Hey ninja boy, I have also studied your ninja bike carefully and have noticed that besides taking off the reflectors, it also appears that you have taken off the colourful streamers that attach to the ends off the handle bars, they are put there so they blow around in the wind when doing serious ninja speeds. I feel somewhat dissapointed that you have failed to tell the bidders that this is indeed a standard item on this motorcycle, I look forward to your response on this sensitive issue. ps. Why are you asking 99,000 when you bought it for 12,000. Nice bike though, but maybe not quite that nice.[/SIZE][SIZE=10pt]Oct-31-08[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]A: [/SIZE][SIZE=10pt]Dear Bike Scientist.. As stated in my description i unfortunately don't hold a prestigious title such as yours. I am pleased you have contacted me concerning this issue. I have heard of these so called "streamers" but only in the legends. However these legends state nothing on how these "streamers" became detached from this manly motorcycle. Perhaps we were never meant to know. P.S. I have added so much manliness to this bike you can only reason that the price would go up as well.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]Q: [/SIZE][SIZE=10pt]are we in florida? too much gusty wind follow by hurricane katrina. are you really parting out with this beast? or just showing it off at ebay. for that price, you can get four more of that at the dealer out the door. or was it a typo error. thanx and have a great day.[/SIZE][SIZE=10pt]Oct-31-08[/SIZE][SIZE=10pt][/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt][/SIZE]A: [SIZE=10pt]amazing that i'd even think of parting with this bike-tank i know.. I must not be selfish, there are plenty others who would love to own manliness incarnate, so i shall offer them the opportunity. No typo, this is a once in a lifetime chance for you to obtain what has brought me into manhood.[/SIZE]

 
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