Get a Dog

BkerChuck · Dec 1, 2017

Why Some Men Have a Dog And No Wife:

1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.

2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor

4. A dog's parents never visit.

5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

6. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

7. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.

8. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?

9. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.

10.. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.

11.. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.

last... but not least:If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.

...To test this theory...

...Lock your wife and your dog in the garage for an hour...

...Then open it and see who's happy to see you.

dcarver · Dec 1, 2017

Good one!

gregory · Dec 1, 2017

you can leave a dog at a kennel and go for a two week vacation

user 90626 · Dec 1, 2017

Why some men have a cat and no dog:

1. The later you are, they could care less, unless you don't feed them right away.

2. Cats don't care if you call them by another name, or their own name for that matter.

3. Cats like it if you leave things on the floor. It gives them more hiding places to attack you from.

4. A cat's parents never visit. Come to think of it, neither do mine.

5. Dogs don't listen whether you raise you're voice or not.

6. Cats don't care if you're drunk, it makes it easier to run in front of you and trip you.

7. Cats go hunting and fishing all by themselves.

8. Cats will wake you up at night for no reason at all. Oh wait, that's the same as a wife.

9. If a cat has babies, you should have got it spade, you *******!

10. There's no way a cat will ever you let you put a collar of any kind on it. It can be done, but involves a lot of blood, none of it the cat's.

11. If a cat smells another cat on you, it doesn't care.

12. If a cat leaves, you don't care. You can always get another cat.

13. You can leave a cat at home and go for a two week vacation.