Gotta love blondes in the winter

[ponyfool]

One winter morning during breakfast a husband and wife in northern Minnesota were listening to the radio. They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through." So the good wife went out and moved her car.

A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must parkyour car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through." The good wife went out and moved her car again.

The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park..." and just then the electric power went out. The good blonde wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowplows can get through?"

With the love and understanding in his voice that all men sometimes exhibit, the husband replied, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"

 

[Checkswrecks]

A brunette and a blonde are walking on opposite sides of the river. The brunette calls over and says

"How do I get to the other side?"

The blonde replies:

"Why? You're already on the other side."

Ta-dump

 

[Go Far]

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?"

The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????"

 

[Bandit12]

A man was driving his truck in the middle of winter. While stopped at a red light, he hears a knock on his drivers side door. He looks out to see a blond woman standing there, so he rolls down the window and asks, "Can I help you ma'am?"

She said "Hi my names is Heather and you're loosing part of your load!"

The driver replies " OK Thank you", rolls up the window and drives off. Next traffic light is red so he stops and again, he hears a knock on his door. Sure enough, its the same blond.

Rolls the window down again and asks "what do you want now?"

"My name is Heather and you're loosing part of your load!"

Yeah right lady, knock it off!"

Next traffic light, red again and sure enough he hears a knock on his door. Same blond lady standing there and he rolls the window down again and says "Lady, what the hell do you want now?"

"My name is Heather and you're loosing part of your load!!!!!"

The driver climbs down out of his truck. looks the lady right in the eye and says:

"Heather, my name is Andy. I'm driving a SALT TRUCK!"

 

[user 6393]

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all

these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid,

so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are

smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is

going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.

The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets

down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and

smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living

room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat.

He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at

the same time.

He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes. He asks

what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him

that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by

painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket

over her fur coat. She replies that she was reading the

directions on the paint can and they said....

"For best results, put on two coats"

 

[clocklaw]

Two blonds were walking through the woods when they came upon a set of tracks....one blond said "hey, look! Deer tracks"......the other blond argued "no, these are Moose tracks"......they were still arguing when the train hit them!

 

[fossilrider]

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"

The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"

The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

 

[Go Far]

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station.

She tells the mechanic it died.

After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.

She says, "What's the story?"

He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"

She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"