An Irishman went to confession.
"Father", he confessed, "it has been one month since my last confession. I had *** with Nookie Green twice last month."
The priest told the sinner, "You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Marys."
Soon, another Irishman entered the confessional.
"Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I've been having *** with Nookie Green twice a week for the last two months."
This time the priest questioned, "Who is this Nookie Green?"
"A new woman in the neighborhood," the sinner replied.
"Very well", sighed the priest. "Go and say ten Hail Marys."
At mass the next morning as the priest was preparing to deliver the sermon a tall, voluptuous, drop-dead gorgeous redhead entered the sanctuary. The eyes of every man in the church were on her as she slowly sashayed up the aisle and sat down right in front of the priest.
Her dress was green and very short and she was wearing matching, shiny emerald green shoes.
The priest and the altar boy gasped as she sat with her legs spread slightly apart ...just enough to reveal that she wasn't wearing any underwear.
The priest turned to the altar boy and whispered, "Is that Nookie Green?"
The bug-eyed altar boy couldn't believe his ears, but managed to calmly reply, "No Father, I think it's just a reflection from her shoes."
