E1Allen
Youngster
A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?"
Horse walks into a bar...
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Pjturbo
Well-known member
A jumper cable walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer. The bar tender says," I'll serve you but don't start anything".
Phil
Phil
quicksilver
So.., how fast does that thing go?
Two blondes walk into a bar.
The third one ducks!!
The third one ducks!!
NoCage
formerly SouthernFJR
This one's gonna hurt, but ya'll started it.
String walks into a bar and orders a drink.
Bartender says "we don't serve strings".
String walks outside, ties himself in a knot, then lays on the sidewalk and scuffs himself up.
String walks back into the bar.
Bartender says, "aren't you that string that was just in here?"
String says, "no, I'm a frayed knot".
I told you it would hurt.
String walks into a bar and orders a drink.
Bartender says "we don't serve strings".
String walks outside, ties himself in a knot, then lays on the sidewalk and scuffs himself up.
String walks back into the bar.
Bartender says, "aren't you that string that was just in here?"
String says, "no, I'm a frayed knot".
I told you it would hurt.
twowheelnut
R.I.P. Our Motorcycling Friend
radman
R.I.P. Our Motorcycling Friend
The Chihuahua one's pretty good, but then those dogs always make me laugh, even when they're attached to my ankle........ 
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HaulinAshe
Well-known member
A redneck walks into a bar with a very tired look on his face. Bartender asks why. Redneck replies "Just left my family reunion!" Bartender looks puzzled then the Redneck responds "I won the friggin door prize, mag wheels for my house and my sister got REAL horny!".
Lesbian walks into a bar and orders a drink. Bartender serves the drink and slides the snack bowl her way. "No Thanks!" says the lesbian, "I'm allergic to nuts!".
Lesbian walks into a bar and orders a drink. Bartender serves the drink and slides the snack bowl her way. "No Thanks!" says the lesbian, "I'm allergic to nuts!".
v65
ouch
A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender for corn. Bartender says he doesn't serve corn and the duck leaves. The next day the duck comes into the bar again "Hey bartender do you have any corn?". Bartender: "I told you yesterday I don't serve corn", and the duck leaves. Next day the duck comes in again "Hey bartender do you have any corn?". The bartender gets mad:"I told you two days in a row I don't serve corn. If you ask me again I am going to nail your feet to the floor", and the duck leaves. The next day the duck comes back again: "Bartender do you have a hammer?". Bartender:"No". Duck:"Good, do you have any corn?".
thegunslinger
Well-known member
Two condoms walk by a gay bar, one looks at the other and says, "Yah wanna go in and get shitfaced"?
S76
Well-known member
Two termites walk into a bar:
The first one says "Where's the bar tender?"
The first one says "Where's the bar tender?"
epc71
Member
Did you hear about the cowboy that bought a dachshund? Someone told him to get-a-long little doggie.
Couldn't resist, sorry.
Couldn't resist, sorry.
dcarver
Well-known member
Party Pooper!
Dwavey
Well-known member
A gay guy walks into a cowboy bar and orders a Pink Lady. The bartender is reluctant to have a gay in his bar but doesn't want to run afoul of an equal rights lawsuit so he directs the gay to sit in the corner and serves the gay. A few minutes later a rough and tumble cowboy walks into a bar and says "I've been out on the dusty range for weeks and I'm so thirsty I could chug a jug of beer". When he's done he says "All I've had to eat out on the range is beans; I'm so hungry I could eat four steaks". When he's done that he says "I've been out on the range alone for so long I could f**k a cow". Just then, out of the corner is heard "Mooooooo".
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