How do you handle this !
- Thread starter frayne
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frayne
Well-known member
Thanks everybody, a really sad situation. Spent time this afternoon with his parents and brothers and sisters, they are really tore up. I knew Marty for about the last three years and he was a good dude, unpretentious, what you see is what you get, and pretty much a free spirit who lived life how he wanted. I really feel sorry for his two little girls who will grow up without a father. My son and his older brother who are rocks, are setting up a trust fund for the girls. He will be cremated and services will be Tuesday afternoon.
Although someone pulled out in front of him, he was speeding and not wearing the proper gear. Last time I saw him about a week ago, a friend made some comment about his lid and not being DOT approved, and I said something like, a ten dollar helmet for a ten dollar head. Can't say a helmet would have changed the outcome though, guess we'll never know. The accident happened less than three miles from his house and he was in a hurry. The bottom line is, he is dead. When I had gotten to the hospital yesterday, they had his body in a private ICU room for the family. He was pretty banged up and his face swollen to the point where he didn't look at all like himself. I kept thinking to myself, Marty you stupid SOB, and I'm sure if he was looking down, he was thinking the same thing. At this point all I can think is, I hope he is in a better place.
To all my scooter riding friends out there, be careful out there, don't ride like a squid and you'll never win an argument with a cage.
And again thanks for all the kind words.
And yup, I'm drinking a martooni in memory of Marty right now. God bless you where ever you are dude.
Although someone pulled out in front of him, he was speeding and not wearing the proper gear. Last time I saw him about a week ago, a friend made some comment about his lid and not being DOT approved, and I said something like, a ten dollar helmet for a ten dollar head. Can't say a helmet would have changed the outcome though, guess we'll never know. The accident happened less than three miles from his house and he was in a hurry. The bottom line is, he is dead. When I had gotten to the hospital yesterday, they had his body in a private ICU room for the family. He was pretty banged up and his face swollen to the point where he didn't look at all like himself. I kept thinking to myself, Marty you stupid SOB, and I'm sure if he was looking down, he was thinking the same thing. At this point all I can think is, I hope he is in a better place.
To all my scooter riding friends out there, be careful out there, don't ride like a squid and you'll never win an argument with a cage.
And again thanks for all the kind words.
And yup, I'm drinking a martooni in memory of Marty right now. God bless you where ever you are dude.
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Silver Penguin
Silver Penguin
Frayne - it must have taken cojones to face Marty's family. Well done. I'm sure they appreciated it. In many cases, the bereaved are left alone, because no-one knows what to say. Their loss is multiplied without loving friends around to share the burden.
Will keep you, and Marty's family close in thoughts and prayers.
Jill
Will keep you, and Marty's family close in thoughts and prayers.
Jill
Frayne,
Life can be such a bitter sweet experience, and at its extremes there really are no words to share and express our joys and our griefs. So it's little wonder that many find themselves at a loss of words when seeing others suffering the pain of separation from a loved one.
All we can do is reassure them each that we hold them dear in our hearts, and that the end of life is not the end of love. And that in keeping our hearts open to love, we keep them open to accept the precious gifts that life has to offer each of us. If Marty found what he loved to do, at whatever age he left, perhaps he achieved more than many people ever do.
It's about love
always love.
Do everything
with love.
Do what you love to do.
Life can be such a bitter sweet experience, and at its extremes there really are no words to share and express our joys and our griefs. So it's little wonder that many find themselves at a loss of words when seeing others suffering the pain of separation from a loved one.
All we can do is reassure them each that we hold them dear in our hearts, and that the end of life is not the end of love. And that in keeping our hearts open to love, we keep them open to accept the precious gifts that life has to offer each of us. If Marty found what he loved to do, at whatever age he left, perhaps he achieved more than many people ever do.
It's about love
always love.
Do everything
with love.
Do what you love to do.
zorkler
Ave U !!!!
The post Orient Express really express what i was going to say . sorry
keithaba
Well-known member
Man...... I don't know what else to say but, sorry...
This is something that is striking close to home with me. (Being asked that question, not the loss of a friend). After my recent 2 up crash, my S.O. is asking a lot of the same questions.
I even struggle sometimes thinking about giving it up. But I feel the same way as reflected in SP's post above...
I think people ask that question, "When are you going to give it up?" out of fear and mis-understanding. I don't think they expect you to say, "Yes, I am going to stop." They just want you to know they love you and fear that this could happen to you. It shows that they care about you.
We all know the risks are real, but experiencing them up front like this is an emotional rollercoaster... I hate the fact that my love for riding causes my S.O. to break down in tears....
I wish I had a better answer, but I guess all I can offer is empathy.
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jwilly
Administrator of Drama
Frayne,
Sorry to hear of your loss. Life is short, enjoy every single day!
RIP Marty!
JW
Sorry to hear of your loss. Life is short, enjoy every single day!
RIP Marty!
JW
wheatonFJR
...
Very sad....
I don't think I would handle the loss well at all...having lost a close friend to a car accident had me crying at times over a period of many months. "Course I tend to be a little on the ghey a** weepy side of things.
As far as the question directed to you...all I tell people is that motorcycling is a part of me and always has been. Even when I did without a motorcycle for a time for money, kids or whatever...it was always part of me and my dreams of doing things/rides in the future. Therefore, I will not be an ex-motorcyclist ever...
I don't think I would handle the loss well at all...having lost a close friend to a car accident had me crying at times over a period of many months. "Course I tend to be a little on the ghey a** weepy side of things.
As far as the question directed to you...all I tell people is that motorcycling is a part of me and always has been. Even when I did without a motorcycle for a time for money, kids or whatever...it was always part of me and my dreams of doing things/rides in the future. Therefore, I will not be an ex-motorcyclist ever...
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Malve
Well-known member
Frayne,
I too am sorry for your loss. I have lost several young friends over the last 10 years and it is always difficult.
It can really demonstrate ignorance when people make comments and ask questions about the dangers of motorcycling. I encounter this often and it frustrates me to no end, yet I always take the high road and agree with the comments about how dangerous riding is and when asked why I still ride I generally reply with some variation of "... you make your choices in life and I am comfortable with this choice."
Because isn't it just true... riding is dangerous... yet all things considered we are comfortable with our choice to ride.
It is interesting that it is considered socially acceptable for people to make these comments when there are many analogous situations that would be unheard of to make such comments.
I too am sorry for your loss. I have lost several young friends over the last 10 years and it is always difficult.
It can really demonstrate ignorance when people make comments and ask questions about the dangers of motorcycling. I encounter this often and it frustrates me to no end, yet I always take the high road and agree with the comments about how dangerous riding is and when asked why I still ride I generally reply with some variation of "... you make your choices in life and I am comfortable with this choice."
Because isn't it just true... riding is dangerous... yet all things considered we are comfortable with our choice to ride.
It is interesting that it is considered socially acceptable for people to make these comments when there are many analogous situations that would be unheard of to make such comments.
fretbender
Well-known member
Frayne,
Sorry to hear about this. Best wishes to you and Marty's other family & friends.
Sorry to hear about this. Best wishes to you and Marty's other family & friends.
FJamR
Well-known member
Condolences to the family and yourself. He may of been cut short, but sounds like he did what he loved. Stay vigilant out there all!
FJR919
Well-known member
Frayne,
I'm sorry for your loss and my condolences to the family. My wife has always been strongly opposed to my motorcycles and obviously will never get on one. She is convinced I'm going to be killed on one, but accepts the fact that this is something I will not give up. I have often told her there are no guarantees in life. Just because I work out and take care of myself doesn't mean I won't come down with some fatal disease before I reach 50. At least I am living life and enjoying it. Wasn't there a line in the World's Fastest Indian movie about living more in that brief high speed run on the motorcycle than some people live in a lifetime?
Regards,
Chris
I'm sorry for your loss and my condolences to the family. My wife has always been strongly opposed to my motorcycles and obviously will never get on one. She is convinced I'm going to be killed on one, but accepts the fact that this is something I will not give up. I have often told her there are no guarantees in life. Just because I work out and take care of myself doesn't mean I won't come down with some fatal disease before I reach 50. At least I am living life and enjoying it. Wasn't there a line in the World's Fastest Indian movie about living more in that brief high speed run on the motorcycle than some people live in a lifetime?
Regards,
Chris
BobbyBlue
Arrhythmia and Blues
Frayne, My heartfelt condolences. What you have done by sharing makes us all think and appreciate every ride and moment so thank you. You are already doing what needs to be done. Blessings on ya bro !
Bobby
Bobby
Silver Penguin
Silver Penguin
At the risk of making this discussion even sadder than it already is, I see kids die reguarly. I work in a Pediatric ICU and see bad **** happen over and over again. It reinforces my belief that you should use the days that you are given, to really LIVE. Who knows when your last day on this earth might be? For many of these kids, they had no idea that their lives would be so short. Treasure each, and every moment, appreciating what a precious gift you have been given.
On a more positive note, I wouldn't trade my job because I see miracles too. There's a lot of happy things that happen, and a lot of lives are saved. You can't put a price on seeing, and being a part of stuff like that.
Jill
feejer222
Well-known member
Deepest sympathy from England Frayne.
There are no words that can make sense of something like this. I lost a close friend many years ago. He was the guy in the gang who never crashed. I just found it hard to take in that he would not be around ever again. I still see him in my mind as a 19 year old kid, he would be nearly 50 now. He met a van head on, on a narrow lane and was quick enough to swerve into a field through a hedge, broke his neck going through the hedge. Not a mark on him otherwise. That was 30 years ago, I still think of him to this day.
RIP Chris, RIP Marty.
About giving up. I don't think you have the option. Once a biker....always a biker. Have a break, park it for a while. You will know when the time is right to get back on it.
If it's your family that want you to stop, then you have to decide whether their feelings are more important to you than your pleasure.
Take care, lots of thoughts with you.
There are no words that can make sense of something like this. I lost a close friend many years ago. He was the guy in the gang who never crashed. I just found it hard to take in that he would not be around ever again. I still see him in my mind as a 19 year old kid, he would be nearly 50 now. He met a van head on, on a narrow lane and was quick enough to swerve into a field through a hedge, broke his neck going through the hedge. Not a mark on him otherwise. That was 30 years ago, I still think of him to this day.
RIP Chris, RIP Marty.
About giving up. I don't think you have the option. Once a biker....always a biker. Have a break, park it for a while. You will know when the time is right to get back on it.
If it's your family that want you to stop, then you have to decide whether their feelings are more important to you than your pleasure.
Take care, lots of thoughts with you.
trimmantom
Well-known member
Frayne,Sorry for your loss of a good friend,you are a good friend to be there for Marty's family.
God bless you and the family and keep your spirits up.Time will heal your sorrow to an extent but never take it away.
Your attitude is a good one.Keep riding brother and be safe.
God bless you and the family and keep your spirits up.Time will heal your sorrow to an extent but never take it away.
Your attitude is a good one.Keep riding brother and be safe.
weekend rider
Well-known member
MM2 mother says it best. We are what we are and we do what we do , we do enjoy life and a motorcycle is part of that life . My consolences to the family.
How do we handle this type of situation? There is no right way and no wrong way, I think all the forumn member showed the best way.
I try to live life to the fullest and riding is a part of that.... weekend rider
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