How God created AUSTRALIA!

[Thug]

THE AUSSIE VERSION OF CREATION

In the beginning God created day and night. He created day for footy matches, going to the beach.....

And BBQ's......

He created night for going prawning, sleeping and BBQ's, and God saw that it was good.

On the Second Day, God created water....for surfing, swimming and BBQ's on the beach, and God saw that it was good.

On the Third Day God created the Earth to bring forth plants to provide malt and yeast for beer and wood for BBQs, and God saw that it was good..

On the Fourth Day God created animals and crustaceans and chops, sausages, steak and prawns for BBQ's, and God saw that it was good.

On the Fifth day God created a Bloke to go to the footy, enjoy the beach, drink the beer and eat the meat and prawns at BBQ's, and God saw that it was good.

On the Sixth Day God saw that the Bloke was lonely and needed someone to go to the footy, surf, drink beer, eat and stand around the barbie with.

So God created Mates, and God saw that they were good Blokes, and God saw that it was good.

On the Seventh Day God looked around at the twinkling barbie fires, heard the hiss of opening beer cans and the raucous laughter of all the Blokes. He smelled the aroma of grilled chops and sizzling prawns and God Saw that it was good ... ..

Well.... Almost good.....

He saw that the Blokes were too tired to clean up and needed a rest so God created Sheilas to clean the house, to bear children, to wash, to cook and to clean the Barbie, and then God saw that it was not just good.....

It was better than that, it was Bloody Awesome!

IT WAS AUSTRALIA!!!!!

 

[user 6393]

 

[Fred W]

Man... God shoulda quit after 6.

I can live with a good mess. Who needs all the nagging?

Right Barb?

 

[user 6393]

well Fred baby, if God was gonna stop at 6, with the creation of "mates" for drinking beer and watching footy, hopefully he would have enough foresight to create the "fountain of lube" instead of the "fountain of youth"

 

[Fred W]

You got that right sistah!

How does it feel to be compared to a tube of KY jelly?

I'm just wonderin'

 

[airboss]

OK, fight it out, debate it unto the death.

I'm moving to Australia!

 

[user 6393]

You got that right sistah!

How does it feel to be compared to a tube of KY jelly?

I'm just wonderin'

Probably about the same as you might feel knowing that a couple of Duracells are more satisfying than a man

 

[exskibum]

How do you get your Sheilas to live by THAT set of rules? Sure doesn't work like that here.

 

[Fred W]

You got that right sistah!

How does it feel to be compared to a tube of KY jelly?

I'm just wonderin'

Probably about the same as you might feel knowing that a couple of Duracells are more satisfying than a man

I can live with that. Quite nicely...

I never asked to be satisfying. I just don't wanna be nagged...

(PS - can you tell that Ms Fred W doesn't frequent this forum?)

 

[user 6393]

*LMAO*

 

[Thug]

How do you get your Sheilas to live by THAT set of rules? Sure doesn't work like that here.

They know when they're on a good thing mate....

 

[beemerdons]

THE AUSSIE VERSION OF CREATION
In the beginning God created day and night. He created day for footy matches, going to the beach.....

And BBQ's......

He created night for going prawning, sleeping and BBQ's, and God saw that it was good.

On the Second Day, God created water....for surfing, swimming and BBQ's on the beach, and God saw that it was good.

On the Third Day God created the Earth to bring forth plants to provide malt and yeast for beer and wood for BBQs, and God saw that it was good..

On the Fourth Day God created animals and crustaceans and chops, sausages, steak and prawns for BBQ's, and God saw that it was good.

On the Fifth day God created a Bloke to go to the footy, enjoy the beach, drink the beer and eat the meat and prawns at BBQ's, and God saw that it was good.

On the Sixth Day God saw that the Bloke was lonely and needed someone to go to the footy, surf, drink beer, eat and stand around the barbie with.

So God created Mates, and God saw that they were good Blokes, and God saw that it was good.

On the Seventh Day God looked around at the twinkling barbie fires, heard the hiss of opening beer cans and the raucous laughter of all the Blokes. He smelled the aroma of grilled chops and sizzling prawns and God Saw that it was good ... ..

Well.... Almost good.....

He saw that the Blokes were too tired to clean up and needed a rest so God created Sheilas to clean the house, to bear children, to wash, to cook and to clean the Barbie, and then God saw that it was not just good.....

It was better than that, it was Bloody Awesome!

IT WAS AUSTRALIA!!!!!

Dios Mio, Thug: You've just described "El Cielo"-Heaven! Nirvana, Utopia, The Land at the End of the Rainbow: I'm OZ Bound!

 

[Tyler]

We'll help you blokes pack.

 

[FJR Steve]

great .... more boat people. Well done Thug. :trinibob: :finger:

:lol2:

 

[FJRBluesman]

Ya notice Barb, God didn't create battries.... Just sayin'

 

[wheatonFJR]

I think Australia sounds like a great place.

Except for the giant spiders, snakes, rodents and other nasty things that the devil created.

 

[Geezer]

I'm wondering why 'footy' came before beer. And he must have worked motorcycles in there somewhere around day two or three.

 

[exskibum]

Ya notice Barb, God didn't create battries.... Just sayin'

Good catch, bluesman!!

I'm thinking that since we import everything here already, maybe we oughta be importin' Shielas from Oz. And settle the trade balance exportin' American and Canadian nags for them Aussie men to train. We can throw in some batteries to keep 'em from puttin' off the Aussie blokes too much before the battery supply runs out.

 

[user 6393]

Volta did tho. Those Italians know how to keep a woman happy

Unlike..............awe hell, nevermind