How to Install a Home Security System

[airboss]

How to Install a Home Security System

1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.

3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

" Bubba,

Big'un, Duke, Slim, & I went for more ammo and beer. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls - they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up bad. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house.

Cooter "

 

[johnny80s]

That's a good one. Here in socal we have to leave the note in Spanish too.

Luis,

Grande, Duke, Slim, & mio went for mas ammo and cerveza. Back en una hora. Don't mess with the perros - they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up muy malo. I don't think el Diablo took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all cuatro of 'em in the casa.

Juan

 

[rickcorwn]

My favorite motorcycle security system, an empty holster on the seat.

 

[Neil San Diego]

How to Install a Home Security System 1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.

3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

" Bubba,

Big'un, Duke, Slim, & I went for more ammo and beer. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls - they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up bad. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house.

Cooter "

You forgot step 3a:

3a. Pour a whole bunch o' fake blood around the porch.

Other than that, good description of a redneck home security system...

 

[FJRBluesman]

That was funny.

That's a good one. Here in socal we have to leave the note in Spanish too.Luis,

Grande, Duke, Slim, & mio went for mas ammo and cerveza. Back en una hora. Don't mess with the perros - they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up muy malo. I don't think el Diablo took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all cuatro of 'em in the casa.

Juan

You're just battin' 1000 aren't ya! :blink: