beemerdons
Certifiable Old Fart
Irish Square Testicles in Ulster, UK!
This is a joke that is supposed to bring you
the luck of the Irish.
An elderly woman walked into the Belfast Royal Bank
of Ireland one morning with a purse full of money. She
wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to
the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot
of money.
After many lengthy discussions (after all,
the client is always right) an employee took the elderly
woman to the president's office.
The president of the Bank asked her how much
she wanted to deposit. She placed her purse on his desk and
replied, '$165,000'.
The president was curious and asked her how
she had been able to save so much money . The elderly woman
replied that she made bets.
The president was surprised and asked, 'What
kind of bets?'
The elderly woman replied, 'Well, I’ll bet
you $25,000 that your testicles are square.'
The president started to laugh and told the
woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that.
The woman never batted an eye. She just looked at the
president and said, 'Would you like to take my bet?'
'Certainly', replied the president. 'I bet
you $25,000 that my testicles are not square.'
'Done', the elderly woman answered. 'But
given the amount of money involved, if you don't mind I
would like to come back at 10 ' clock tomorrow morning with
my lawyer as a witness.' 'No problem', said the president of
the Northern Ireland Bank confidently.
That night, the president became very nervous
about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror
examining his testicles, turning them this way and that,
checking them over again and again until he was positive
that no one could consider his testicles as square and
reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the
bet.
The next morning at exactly 10 o'clock the
elderly woman arrived at the president's office with her
lawyer and acknowledged the $25,000 bet made the day before
that the president's testicles were square.
The president confirmed that the bet was the
same as the one made the day before. Then the elderly woman
asked him to drop his pants etc. so that she and her lawyer
could see clearly.
The president was happy to oblige. The
elderly woman came closer so she could see better and
asked the president if she could touch them. 'Of
course', said the president. 'Given the amount of money
involved, you should be 100% sure.'
The elderly woman did so with a little smile.
Suddenly the president noticed that the lawyer was banging
his head against the wall. He asked the elderly woman why he
was doing that and she replied, 'Oh, it's probably because I
bet him $100,000 that around 10 o'clock in the morning I
would be holding the balls of the President of the Royal
Bank of Ireland.'
The origin of this Irish story is unknown but
it brings luck to everyone to whom it is sent.
This is a joke that is supposed to bring you
the luck of the Irish.
An elderly woman walked into the Belfast Royal Bank
of Ireland one morning with a purse full of money. She
wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to
the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot
of money.
After many lengthy discussions (after all,
the client is always right) an employee took the elderly
woman to the president's office.
The president of the Bank asked her how much
she wanted to deposit. She placed her purse on his desk and
replied, '$165,000'.
The president was curious and asked her how
she had been able to save so much money . The elderly woman
replied that she made bets.
The president was surprised and asked, 'What
kind of bets?'
The elderly woman replied, 'Well, I’ll bet
you $25,000 that your testicles are square.'
The president started to laugh and told the
woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that.
The woman never batted an eye. She just looked at the
president and said, 'Would you like to take my bet?'
'Certainly', replied the president. 'I bet
you $25,000 that my testicles are not square.'
'Done', the elderly woman answered. 'But
given the amount of money involved, if you don't mind I
would like to come back at 10 ' clock tomorrow morning with
my lawyer as a witness.' 'No problem', said the president of
the Northern Ireland Bank confidently.
That night, the president became very nervous
about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror
examining his testicles, turning them this way and that,
checking them over again and again until he was positive
that no one could consider his testicles as square and
reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the
bet.
The next morning at exactly 10 o'clock the
elderly woman arrived at the president's office with her
lawyer and acknowledged the $25,000 bet made the day before
that the president's testicles were square.
The president confirmed that the bet was the
same as the one made the day before. Then the elderly woman
asked him to drop his pants etc. so that she and her lawyer
could see clearly.
The president was happy to oblige. The
elderly woman came closer so she could see better and
asked the president if she could touch them. 'Of
course', said the president. 'Given the amount of money
involved, you should be 100% sure.'
The elderly woman did so with a little smile.
Suddenly the president noticed that the lawyer was banging
his head against the wall. He asked the elderly woman why he
was doing that and she replied, 'Oh, it's probably because I
bet him $100,000 that around 10 o'clock in the morning I
would be holding the balls of the President of the Royal
Bank of Ireland.'
The origin of this Irish story is unknown but
it brings luck to everyone to whom it is sent.
